Community Standards

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Revision as of 15:03, 25 February 2012 by (Talk)

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This page exists to to provide an insight into our shifting morass of community standards. These principles and standards are not the Consensus of Noisebridge, and anyone can edit this page at any time. Hopefully, the community can ensure that this page continues to reflect what we think.

The only hard and fast rule of Noisebridge is be excellent to each other. Everything else is dicta.



  • Noisebridge is a place for hacking, hackers, and learning to hack.
  • Noisebridge operates by do-ocracy and consensus.
  • The Noisebridge Vision describes what we are for, and what we are about.


  • If you disagree with your fellow hacker it would be excellent to work out your differences with them.
  • If you cannot work out your differences one-on-one, it would be excellent to work out your differences through mediation.

Entrance and Membership

  • You do not need to be a member to hack at Noisebridge or participate in the community here.
  • It is not excellent to admit someone to Noisebridge unless you are willing to take responsibility for their actions here.
  • It is not excellent to use the resources of Noisebridge unless you are hacking or trying to actively participate in the community
  • You can attempt to become a member of Noisebridge as described on the membership page.

Conflict and Emergency

  • It is excellent to do-ocratically remove someone who is disrupting Noisebridge, or dangerous.
    • If you remove someone like this, you should email noisebridge-discuss, and edit 85.
    • If someone is removed from the space like this, they shouldn't return to the space except to work out the issue that resulted in their removal, either through mediation, or at a weekly meeting.

Do Not Want

Why Publish These Standards

Steve shook his head and repeated "Accommodating! Do you think Tracy will be able to handle all 14" of your dick when she has been used to your original 5 inches?"

I stuttered "I, I, I don't know. I guess we'll just have to try."

Steve asked if I was willing to risk all that hard work. Would Tracy be willing to put up with another month or more of no sex?

Steve was right, I had to make sure this worked. I asked what we could do.

Steve thought a few seconds and then said, "I think you have several options. You could find a hooker or some- one else able to accommodate your large size. Of course they would have to be close by whenever you invigorate. I'm not sure how Tracy would like that.

A second option is to use something, like a dildo, to expand Tracy prior to the big day. I'm sure it would take several sessions and there is the danger of that it might not work as well as you making love to her.

A third option is to find some sort of device to simu- late the correct pressure, and hope it's right the first time.

Finally, you could find someone with a penis large enough to open Tracy up to within a reasonable proxi- mity of your 14 inches, but that would be just as awkward as hiring a hooker."

Well, I knew a hooker was out of the question, Tracy would never stand for it. Certainly, a device was too risky. That left the dildo or, unfortunately, a sur- rogate penis. I was against the last option and was sure it would not be acceptable to Tracy either.

Thankfully, Steve noticed my discomfort with the idea and put some of my fears to rest. He informed me the expansion process using a surrogate was really a "clinical" kind of procedure. It wasn't as if someone would be making love to my wife. It was more like a therapist giving a massage. But I still wasn't con- vinced.


Tracy and I discussed our options later that night. Steve had painted a pretty scary picture of what could happen, and Tracy is very nervous about the whole thing. A simple yeast infection commercial gets her upset.

At that point it seemed as if all our acceptable options had eliminated themselves. I asked Tracy if she thought we should call the whole thing off. Was a large cock worth the price that we would have to pay?

Tracy thought about it for a moment, gave me a little hug, and told me that she was willing to make any sacrifice for my sake. Besides, she didn't want to admit that we had wasted all that effort. She finally decided that the surrogate penis would be the most likely thing to work, and besides it really would be more like a trip to the doctors office. O.K., Maybe more like a house call.

It was decided. As distasteful as it seemed, we would need someone to prepare Tracy to accommodate my new super sized cock. We were out of other acceptable options as we saw them, and we both knew we would have to see it through to the end.

It was Tracy who first suggested Steve for the task of preparing her. She had accidentally walked in on him while he was naked, in his room. He had been mastur- bating as she'd walked in. He had asked her earlier to stop by to help him sew on a button.

As she walked in, he saw her and gave his cock another couple of quick strokes and exploded in orgasm sending his cum high into the air.

She had gasped and had felt weak in surprise and shock but managed to quickly exit from the room. Later that night as I was finishing my invigoration she relayed the story while wildly rubbing her cunt. As I was cleaning up she told me how sorry she felt for him. He didn't appear to have a girlfriend and was left to seek his own release.

She then lit upon an idea. Steve was such a good friend, and obviously knowledgeable, wouldn't it be nice to let him do the honors with her. He was the size we were looking for and certainly knew what was required.

I was apprehensive about having Steve be with my wife but she seemed to settle on him as the one. She asked me if I would approach him about it. I reluctantly agreed. After all, Steve had been a great help through all of this and any penis envy that I had would soon be over.

When I asked him, Steve seemed surprised and expressed some concern about my reaction to someone ministering to my wife. I said I thought I could handle it as long as I was there to comfort Tracy.

He disagreed with me, he said that it was his experi- ence that its not a good idea to have the husband around during this kind of activity. He couldn't do it if I was there. His concentration would not be on the job at hand. Doctors don't allow family members into the operating room.

I told him that I admired his clinical attitude and that I guess I could stay out of the way. Based on my concession, he agreed to do it. He then added that they should start soon because my expansion could occur any day.

That evening Steve entered our bedroom about 8:00 to start the treatment on Tracy. I watched television in the living room. Occasionally, I would hear a yell or a knock from the bedroom. I used the device twice waiting for them to finish. Eventually I fell asleep on the couch.


When I woke up the next morning, Tracy was in the shower and Steve was nowhere to be found. When Tracy was dressed I asked her how the night had gone. She smiled and said that it had been all right.

I prodded her for more information but she was reluc- tant to talk about it. I figured that she didn't enjoy it all that much, plus the situation was kind of awkward. I was actually kind of surprised when Steve and Tracy retreated to the bedroom later that evening. Tracy was determined to see this thing through.

The pattern repeated itself for the remainder of the week. Tracy still didn't want to talk much about it and Steve was only home long enough to slip into bed with her.

I did notice that Tracy had settled down to her old; self back when we used to fuck every day. However the treatment was going, it seemed to be helping her.

Friday was the day Steve left for home. He got up early in the morning, showered, and stopped by the couch on his way out. He shook me awake and thanked me for allow him to help us. He cautioned against using the device for longer than another couple of months, something should have happened by then. He said he would be back every couple of weeks and would make sure he kept Tracy ready for me until then.

I got up and opened the door for him and thanked him for all his help. After he left, I slowly walked down the hall into my bedroom. Tracy was sleeping lightly. She was wearing a skimpy little teddy with no panties on.

I had never seen that outfit before. She looked great in it. The light from the window shown across her legs and stomach. Her legs were spread open and I peered down at her pussy. Her cunt was gaping wide open and cum was all over her face, tits, stomach, pussy and legs. Her hairless cunt lips were engorged and glowing red. Her nipples thrust out like pencil top erasers. Even her clit was standing at attention. The enormity of her once tight cunt amazed me. My entire penis could fit inside the opening without touching the sides. Some time during the week she had shaved off most of her pussy hair, leaving only a small triangle. It was matted and soaked with cum.

Steve returned two more times after that and stayed for a week each time. Each week was similar to the first week; me on the couch and him working with my wife in our bed. He continued to splatter cum all over her. I was allowed to stop in every morning after he left to check on Tracy. Here cunt was always huge and covered with cum. I suspected that she was giving him oral sex. I would notice drops of cum on her chin and cheeks. She never did that for me.

Finally, one morning Steve said he would be leaving and probably wouldn't return. He said that he had stretch- ed out Tracy as far as possible and that his mission was accomplished. She was ready and no longer needed him.

I thanked him for all his help, he informed me that if my cock wasn't larger in another couple of weeks, it probably never would be. On rare occasions it's not effective. He told me I could hang on to the expansion device no matter what happened.

I told him I would keep using it for a while and would darn well pay for it too. After all, I was the one it was helping. I was kind of surprised at the price he said he paid, but figured it would be worth it in the long run. I handed him a check for $475 and thanked him again for all his help. He truly was a good friend. With that he walked out the door and I never saw him again.

A couple of weeks passed and I remained 5" long. In that time Tracy seemed to lose interest in her once nightly rubbing sessions and did not appear at all concerned with our lack of sex. Whatever Steve had done, it was having positive effects. I found it curious that Tracy had taken a liking to her carefully trimmed pussy and spent considerable time grooming it.

Finally after another 2 weeks, I decided to quit using the device and get back to my old life. I was disap- pointed that I hadn't been successful, but at least Steve, Tracy and I had given it our best shot.

I convinced Tracy to try sex with me the next evening. Try is the appropriate word because we both could not feel a thing. I couldn't even cum, there was no friction at all. It was like humping air. We tried a couple of more times but to no avail.

I felt inadequate. I couldn't please my own wife. Several weeks later I returned home from work to find her in bed with a stranger.

When I walked in, he turned to me and pulled his cock out of Tracy's cunt and showed it to me saying, "four- teen inches!"

Tracy just guided his cock back in and moaned.

It is important for regular users of the space to be aware of the purpose of Noisebridge. If people want to use the space and have no interest in or respect for hacking, this does not mean they are automatically unwelcome at Noisebridge, but they should thoroughly understand that their use of the space is tangential to its purpose and at the discretion of the membership and other stakeholders.

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