Difference between revisions of "Finances"

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he bathroom was quiet during class and the lock to the stall clicked soundly into place. Grunting slightly, Helen released her behemoth cock from the spandex as she pushed the leggings down and spread her legs. Grabbing the garment, she hung it on the stall coat hook before spreading her legs and gripping her breasts with both hands. They still jiggled, not yet as tight with cum as they had been this morning. The feelings went straight to her crotch and she groaned as her cock torturously began to lift her dress up on its way to its full 18-inch state.
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Noisebridge needs money to run. Quite a lot, actually. Its about $11,649.30/mo.
Helen looked down and sniffled a bit before smiling slightly. Although it was certainly true that she was transformed, that she no longer fit into any model that humanity would call ‘standard’, having a dick was kind of fun. She swayed her hips side to side, keeping her hands off her tool and watching it shift pendulously beneath the dress. Its momentum was unstoppable. Helen sat on the toilet, spreading her legs, leaning back, tucking her hair behind her ear as she awaited the arrival of her plaything.
 
In seconds her rod had pushed its way high enough where the fabric of the dress fell in a showman-like reveal, the tan shaft ascending before falling again, coming to rest inches above Helens chest. She brought her hands around, gripping the throbbing monster and nuzzling her cheek against the head. She could smell her musk, the scent of her cock was heady and strong, complimented by whiffs of a sweeter scent from her dripping pussy, lonely as it was at her base. Helen teased herself, delivering soft kisses and tantalizing rubs around her glans, peeling back her stretchy foreskin to nibble at the ridge. Her shaft throbbed heavily, precum leaking from the tip, signaling that it could wait no longer.
 
The teasing Helen had indulged in ended abruptly as she shoved the majority of her plum-sized head in her mouth. As much as she enjoyed the fun, class would get out soon and she didn’t want to be caught with her pants down and a flagpole sized dick swaying in the wind. Gripping her shaft in one hand to steady its throbbing insistence Helen reached back behind her head and pulled her hair into a ponytail, gripping tightly and using her leverage to pull back and forth. If she had a mirror her orgasm probably would have arrived twice as fast; there she was, a petite woman with breasts tightly packed into her dress, her eyes squeezed shut as she skullfucked herself upon her own mountainous rod. Helen began to feel that deep sensation from the base of her shaft, the rippling of muscles and pumping of fluids she was becoming all too familiar with. It was like an out of body experience. Her eagerness to please her own organ was all she could think of, her body writhed, her head bobbed mechanically while her consciousness became her shaft, growing harder and more desperate until-
 
“Gmmlph! Mmmmf!” Salty liquid jetted into her mouth as she swallowed desperately, trying not to let a single drop slip free. Her cheeks bulged while her face turned red, but like a woman possessed her hands continued to move, twisting while she pumped the pulsing meat. She was her cock, her body was just attached to service the great organ, an extension of her pleasure. Again and again she handled mouthful after mouthful of thick spunk. Little droplets spurted from the corners of her lips as her orgasm threatened to make her lose focus. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, her organ lost momentum.
 
Helen disconnected with a moist *pop*, collapsing backwards before groaning quietly. She rubbed her stomach through her dress trying to relieve the discomfort. It was tight and full, a copious amount of cum weighing heavily on her gut, but her breasts had returned to their original perky handfuls. “Big guy,” she addressed her drooping member, “I don’t think I can handle a diet like that on the regular.” Someone else though… well. Helen licked her lips as she thought about the possibilities. She always had been attracted to partners hungry for success.
 
Suddenly the doors to the restroom banged open and a collection of footsteps entered. Helen lifted her feet up, doing a manic toilet dance to try and pull her tights on, stuff her member away while keeping her feet off the floor and out of view. Raucous voices echoed in the space while two stall doors opened and closed.
 
“Ugh, I know, she is such a little bitch.” Helen grimaced. The voice was undoubtedly Marina’s. A faucet turned on as a bag unzipped. No doubt she had exited class early to touch up her makeup for the next period (which was gym! Honestly.) “Always prancing around like some holier-than-thou-Zooey-Deschannel-one-apartment-four-guys kind of slut!”
 
“I know, I mean, the worst. The total worst. I just got a snap from Max saying that Mitch from the team, his friend is Donnie and Donnie says she definitely blew Jake in his car. Like, ewww.” That was Jaqueline. Helens ears were burning now. It took very little deductive reasoning to figure out who they were talking about. “Marina?”
 
The silence did not bode well. There was a clatter of cosmetics on a counter and a human screech. “BITCH!”
 
“Um, I mean, maybe it was a rumor, right? Kimber, have you heard anything else? Kimber?” There was gagging from another stall.
 
“God damn it Kimber!” Marina’s voice was ablaze with anger. “If you’re going to puke just woman-up and do it!” A clatter as a stall door was shoved open. The gagging intensified. “While you’re down there- there we go, while you’re down there why don’t you use that pretty little model brain to think of some way we can ruin that bitch’s life?”
 
All the girls were preoccupied in stalls. Helen realized she had a precious opportunity and took it. Slipping the latch and sliding out of her stall she stole along the length of the restroom. Glancing in the mirror she noticed a fleck of white on the corner of her lower lip. Scooping it up with her finger, she hesitated just as she was about to pop the digit in her mouth. There, on the counter, lay an open container of lip gloss. Queen Bee Velvet, Marina’s favorite. There was no time to think as the gagging behind her turned into a dry hacking vomit. Slipping her finger across the gloss, smearing her spunk into the gel, Helen then booked it for the door.
 
Looking over her shoulder as she exited, Helen didn’t see Jake until colliding with him in the hall and tumbling to the ground. Looking up, their eyes met and he gave her his classic puppy dog smile. “Hey. I was looking for someone else but I’m glad I ran into you.”
 
Her dick twitched. 
 
---
 
Daniel was sweating. Not a torrent, but enough for him to notice. Enough to make him aware. As aware as he had been walking down the halls as students bobbed and weaved around him. His walk to school had been annoying, his three flaccid dicks taking up far more real estate in his baggy jeans than he was comfortable with but actually walking down the halls, stepping onto the foyer and being surrounded by the mass of students… If Daniel had any real experiences with substances he would have easily been able to relate the sensation with being high, the enhanced awareness of sights and sounds as a byproduct of some mind altering drug. Everywhere he turned there was flesh. Tight yoga pants wrapped around rotund rear-ends. The napes of necks, the way one girl had her hair braided made his heart skip a beat, the subtle smell of her perfume lingering with him as she rushed by on her way to class. Droplets of moisture beaded his forehead and slipped down the his neck.
 
Even worse were the responses of students who came into his vicinity. Although he entered the school just as the period bell rang and the student body rushed to class the glances he was receiving from the girls (and some of the guys) who moved past him only exacerbated matters. It seemed that every girl who came within five or so feet of Daniel slowed, turned, locked eyes with him. Their gazes swept across his body and the corners of their mouths would turn up slightly, backs would subtly straighten and steps would have a little more bounce to them as they moved away, glancing over their shoulders to see if he was watching. For someone who was so used to being invisible, the newfound attention was having the opposite effect than what he’d always imagined, putting Daniel on edge, making him hyperaware of his mutant morphology, hidden as it was beneath layers of baggy clothes. Is this what celebrity was like? It must be an absolute nightmare.
 
Now Daniel found himself frozen outside of his first-period class. The thought of entering late, of every eye being on him as he moved into the room paralyzed him. The teacher, Mr. Whitburn would admonish him, asking his excuse in an attempt to embarrass the tardiness out of Daniel. In response the boy would drop his pants, let his tentacle cocks unfurl and flex, then wrap them around the three hottest girls in the class, squirming into skirts or blouses to give them pleasure, to give them what Mr. Whitburn could never give them in his old miserable life, he would take them on the desk-
 
Daniel’s pants were writhing and he was doubled over clutching his stomach as it gurgled, the pressure within rising to unbearable proportions. Much like his sister, he turned down the hall, hobbling for a supply closet he knew to be unoccupied. He was desperate, he needed to drain, he needed to drain now. His whole body screamed for release.
 
“Daniel! Hey, Daniel!” The boy froze. Hurried steps echoed down the hall behind him and before he could process how to deal with the situation Lillian’s bright smile was beside him.
 
Lillian, Nick, and Daniel. The three had been friends since freshman year, bonding over their experience in the Mathletes, all content with being mentally stimulated while begrudgingly admitting that choosing mathletes as freshmen had pretty much tanked their prospects at a legitimate social life. Lillian was a bouncy, exuberant Hispanic girl with dark bangs, golden skin and an absolutely adorable overbite. Although Daniel had sometimes fantasized about her curvy body, her round handful-sized breasts, her baby-fat padded tummy and deliciously bouncy butt, she had confided in him sophomore year that she had always harbored a deep crush for Nick. Afterwards Daniel’s feeling for her had tempered down to just friendship. She had probably come out of class to call him and see where he was. Now she stood just paces away, her brow crinkling in concern as she looked upon his obvious discomfort. He made a split second decision, motivated more by his body than any rational thought, grabbing her wrist and pulling her along in a hobbling run.
 
“Hey! Danny, where are we going? Are you going to be sick? Do you need me to call your sisteeeerrrrr-!” He had pulled open the supply closet and yanked them both inside, slamming the door shut. He doubled over, fumbling with the button of his jeans as his quickly swelling stomach pressed tightly against the waistband. If he could have seen in the dark he would have seen Lillian breathing deeply, her eyes becoming bright, cheeks flushing as his musk filled the tight space, her thighs rubbing together in her jeans. “Daniel.” Her voice was husky. He’d never heard this tone from her before. “You better make a move in the next five seconds, because if you don’t I’m walking out of here.”
 
With a gasp of relief Daniel released the binding of his pants. His stomach pushed out, taught and hot while one his cocks slipped free, standing out in the dark, seeking warmth. He lunged forward in the dark, fumbling for Lillian, gripping both sides of her head and pushing his lips roughly into hers. As their mouths locked she melted into his arms, then his body, pressing herself into him, feeling his hardness throb against her torso while her hands roamed his back.
 
They separated for an instant, long enough to frantically remove most of their clothing. In the black Daniel felt his trio of phallus (phalli?) unfurl, but he had enough sense to keep two lowered as he moved forward again. Lillian’s panties and shirt were gone, although he could still feel the lace fabric of her bra, sharp pointed nipples poking and rubbing against his chest. He gripped her thighs, pressing her up against the wall and pushing forward, his dick finding her moist folds and slipping inside.
 
It felt amazing. It felt incredible. More so with than with Amy, unlike his first time this was with someone he knew, it wasn’t as scary or surprising as his previous impromptu kitchen quickie. Lillian spread herself for him, bucking and pushing, grinding her wet mound against his rounded pelvis as his mutant cock sank deep into her warmth. She kept emitting adorable little high-pitched squeaks, grunts, incomprehensible words while her hips writhed and her arms pulled him desperately against her. He hefted her with strength he didn’t know he had, placing his hands behind her thighs and cupping her ass as he held her against the wall. A mop or bucket tumbled over with a clatter, the claustrophobia of the space becoming a warm cocoon to the ensconced couple.
 
The motions were smooth, his thrusts strong, assisted by his cock’s new dexterity and strength, but it wasn’t enough. He needed more. A small thought in the back of his head- More will change her. She needs more. Give her more. Use your seed to give her what she wants. Without realizing it he sent a second cock to rub against the first, sliding against Lillian’s stuffed entrance. It moved downwards, brushing against her puckered asshole as the orifice tightened and loosened with each thrust. Suddenly it pushed forward.
 
Lillian and Daniel paused simultaneously, each emitting one long groan as the limb pushed itself into her body. Daniel clutched Lillian’s ass, his head swimming as the sensations of double penetrating the petite Latina overwhelmed him. For her part Lillian was stone still, her inner walls trembling as the dual intruders settled inside her, squeezing Daniel in a death grip as she felt the twin snakes burrow into her moist depths.
 
The third cock made an entrance, sliding under the fabric of her bra to push itself into Lillian’s cleavage, belching a thick helping of pre to lubricate the crevasse. Lillian could only mutter. “What. How. How. What.” Over and over again. Until Daniel bit her shoulder and started thrusting again.
 
This time, assisted by his pneumatic tentacle dicks and a tripled amount of sensation Daniel could only hold out for a minute or two. Lillian’s whole body had started shaking, heaving as she came and came and came again, her walls milking him for everything he had. The white wave rose in Daniel’s mind again, washing over him as his stomach clenched and several quarts worth of mutagenic sperm rocketed out of three different pipes. In a split second Danny had a sort of religious revelation. This was him. This was what his body had become, what he was meant to do. It was everything he hadn’t been before, but now he knew: If he stayed in the school, he would fuck every girl he came into contact with just like he’d fucked Lillian. It was pheromones or mind control or something but they would be drawn to him and he would be unable to resist. He would change them as they were meant to be changed.
 
The couple slid apart slowly, Lillian coming down onto trembling legs. His cocks spooled out of her, the one in her ass coming free only after she reached down and applied a little bit of force to help the head pop out of her sphincter. It was followed up by a surprising amount of fluid. He knew even more fluid covered her chest and dripped down her neck. Of all the things that came to mind in the moment, Daniel felt bad for possibly ruining on of Lillian’s nice bras. For long moments the only sound in the steamy closet was heavy breathing. Possible the sounds of Lillian scraping cum off her chest, maybe shoveling it into her mouth, but he couldn’t be sure. He was still reeling, and his imagination was definitely in the gutter.
 
“So… that happened.”
 
“Yeah.”
 
“Daniel, I… Don’t take this the wrong way, but what the fuck. What the actual fuck.”
 
“I’m sorry.”
 
“Don’t be sorry, just tell me what that was. What are you?”
 
She moved forward and he could sense her close, feel her breathing. She reached down and circled one hand around a dick. Than the other hand wrapped around another tuber.
 
“What the fuck.” she whispered. “I’ve seen you in your boxers, these were not here before.”
 
“It’s something that happened in my dad’s lab. It was an accident. It messed me up. Amy too. Possibly Helen.” He didn’t think it would be a good idea to tell her how Helen had accidently made contact with his spunk.
 
“Is it permanent?”
 
“Yes. No. I don’t know. I think so. But there’s something you should know.”
 
“I’m glad it was with you.”
 
“I-wait what?”
 
“I’m glad. That we could do this, even with your changes. Nick hasn’t made a move in four years, and honestly, I’ve started thinking about you. Sometimes…” She leaned her head against his chest and her hair tickled him. He was distinctly aware of her smell, her breathing, and she pressed a sticky hand to his abdomen. “I think I like you both, in different ways but equally.”
 
“I’m glad it was with you too. But Lil, listen, there’s the possibility that these changes, that they’re-“
 
She grunted and doubled over suddenly, grabbing hold of his arm to keep herself from falling to the floor. She couldn’t hold herself up, and Daniel supported her down to the ground, onto her back. “Oh shit, oh god, Lil, it’s contagious, I-shit. Oh no.” He searched frantically for a light, for anything to see what happening to her, to assess the damage he had wrought. A wispy cord brushed against his hand as he flailed, and a dim lightbulb flicked on, illuminating the closet, filled to the brim with janitorial supplies and one gorgeous, naked, caramel skinned girl.
 
Lillian breathed laboriously as the changes started, a light sheen of sweat coating her curvy form. She spread her legs and stared downwards as her lower abdomen started to dome outward, a bulge spreading from below her bellybutton to right above her swollen pussy. She winced and gasped as the bulge grew, from a small lump to a basketball to a large backpack sized mass of velvety and erogenous flesh. Daniel could only kneel and watch as the mass pushed Lillian’s legs apart with its weight, obscuring her genitals and lightly brushing the ground between her thighs. Her face kept contorting, as if she were pushing something out of herself, until she tossed her head back and collapsed on her back, bringing her hands up to fondle her breasts. Lillian uttered a wordless shout as thick nubs started to emerge from the sack. Like a cow’s udder, the four nubs grew out thick and taut, four inches long. Daniel noted one major detail though- a familiar bell end began to form on the end of the teats, until the new teat-dicks began to drip a thick creamy discharge.
 
Lillian wasn’t done though. Her hands flew to her sides and she began to thrust her chest into the air, up and down, writhing on the floor as her breasts swelled with every thrust. Her mouth gaped open in a wordless ‘o’ as her tits expanded, small barely-there brown nipples becoming thicker, swelling to large masses beneath the creamy fabric of her strained bra. Below them dots appeared, two new nipples erupting from her torso in fast forward, swelling into breasts, pushing the originals up and to the side. Her sticky bra snapped open, the clasps failing as the larger upper breasts thumped onto the ground around Lillian’s armpits, milky discharge erupting from the tips and splattering around her body in a messy corona. Her bottom breasts settled to the size of her originals, the nipples larger though and cone like, straining up at Daniel like chewy gumdrops, crinkling in their eagerness to receive a good hard sucking. Lillian’s body relaxed, she was left looking equal parts exhausted and supremely satisfied and Daniel noted that her hair now piled up behind her in waves, small horns poking up through her brunette bangs. She absentmindedly rubbed her hands over the pink flesh of her new udder and turned to meet Daniel’s eyes. She lifted her legs off the ground, toes curling, and her udder lifted as well, just barely revealing the gleaming pink slit nestled below. She couldn’t stop rubbing the udder, kneading her hands into the soft mass, twitching as she grabbed at the leaking teat-dicks and began to milk them with strong strokes.
 
“Oh god Daniel. I’m glad it was with you.
 
 
ACT II
 
  
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<big>'''[[Donate or Pay Dues| Click here for info on how to pay your Membership Dues]].'''</big>
  
Food poisoning sucked. It sucked it sucked it sucked. And for Irene, this particular brand of sick was worse than anything she had ever experienced in her life, worse than a forlorn Mexican vacation in the nineties, worse than an accidental flu Adam had carried out of the field and into their bedroom while contracting with the CDC, causing the house to be quarantined for a week.
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=== Monthly Expenses and Dues ===
Irene’s office was nice. Really nice. An ironic contrast to how she felt at the moment, crumpled beside a large mahogany desk, but when someone was in the best of health, when that someone was a someone Irene was trying to impress, the office did its job in instilling a sense of gravity into those who entered Irene’s domain. A dense turquoise carpet muffled the noise from the bullpen outside, smooth floor-to-ceiling glass looked out across the city (one of the reasons Irene tried to hold meetings in the morning and evening), and a full complement of sunlight-balanced bulbs in the ceiling added a natural ambiance which was simply lost to the typical corporate fluorescents.
 
None of this mattered now though, as Irene was curled up at the base of her desk, a puddle of milk slowly forming on the carpet from a tipped over thermos above her. Her blonde hair stuck to her forehead as she took gasping, feverish breaths, stars and bright spots floating in front of her eyes as something horrific took hold of her body.
 
Irene began to senselessly drag herself across the carpet towards the windows. She wasn’t fully aware she was doing it until her hot forehead pressed against the cool glass, her eyes cracking open to look at the broad world below. She wondered briefly if Vivian had poisoned the milk, if the open kitchen or banana bread had been a ploy to lure her in, but she quickly dismissed the notion as being feverish paranoia. No, the more likely answer was just spoiled milk, something gone bad in the fridge and overlooked in the chaos of family life. Irene grunted and slammed a fist against the glass, still crumpled on the floor. She really didn’t want to throw up in her nice office.
 
Every cell felt like it was being ripped apart. Her head lolled and she took deep, gasping breathes in preparation to vomit but the vomit never came. She heaved, but nothing happened. Irene’s esophagus felt like it was being rearranged, twisting and turning, but no expungement of her stomach acids occurred. She was distracted by a squirming sensation in her panties, a hideous wet writhing motion coming from beneath her pencil skirt.
 
Twisting onto her back Irene reached below, hooking thumbs in panty lines and moving her hips to pull her underwear down her legs. She sucked air through her nose, still not trusting her stomach enough to open her lips. The removal of the underwear was an incredible relief; Irene spread her legs and luxuriated in the sensation of her hot sex being cooled by the temperate air of her office. Her thighs bucked once as her pussy squirmed and lifted. She realized briefly that her already full behind was expanding, pushing her up off the carpet. Her blouse too was getting tight, but not as swiftly as her ass was, lifting the skirt up around her waist. Her pussy flexed again, squirting a load of fluids onto the carpet and Irene’s eyes burst open, her head exploding as an entirely new collection of senses overtook her consciousness.
 
Looking down Irene was shocked by what she saw. Her pussy lips had plumped up, flushing with color and pulsing open and closed. Between them was a wet tuber, rough on the top and smooth on the bottom, and Irene realized it was a foot-long tongue, curling clumsily around her groin, brushing against her thighs and sliding against her lips. She could feel everything. She could taste her pussy, taste the salt of her thighs, feel the heat and warmth emanating from below her. It was equal parts incredible and insane, although she quickly realized the insanity was not quite done.
 
Irene rolled over onto her stomach and pushed herself into a kneeling position, head hanging loosely on her shoulders. Her bust jostled and she realized dimly her breasts had grown a couple of sizes, not huge but definitely packing her blouse and bra. Her exposed pussy lapped the air, her new tongue writhing across her pale ass cheeks and then u-turning instinctively to lick her flushed clit. Her back arched and this time she opened her mouth, truly expecting to vomit.
 
Instead, what emerged from her maw was only fractionally less disgusting. A thick shaft, slimy with discharge, steadily pushed itself out from between Irene’s lips, which formed an ‘o’ around the extrusion. It was pale and pink, in perfect harmony with her own skin, the shaft thick and smooth, almost feminine, despite it’s obviously male origins. The shaft thumped heavily on the carpet and began to spool on itself as Irene’s back heaved, pushing more and more of the length out of her throat. Finally, her gagging ceased, and she was left looking cross eyed down her nose at a spooled length of no less than four feet of girthy pale-pink cock. Irene breathed heavily through her nose for several minutes, gathering herself.
 
Staggering to her feet with the support of the glass windows, Irene took stock. The rope of limp cock thumped limply against her chest and torso, her lower tongue flicking her clit almost independent of her will. Irene grasped her hanging organ and to her shock it came alive, whipping around her arm in a spiral and beginning to flex itself against her skin.
 
With a throaty groan Irene forced it still. Concentrating hard, she willed the organ to unwrap, watching as it slowly loosened its grip on her. The flared head rose into the air, turning towards her face as she examined it. A small foreskin allowed the majority of the head to remain free, and she could feel the air currents as her new cock swayed back and forth. Objectively Irene realized her new organ must have something like a snake’s heat sense, as she could feel the warmth from her own body in front of it, a sort of sixth sense blooming in the back of her mind, the swaying cock feeling and tasting the air for the right combination of warmth and wetness even as rivulets of clear fluid dripped from the tip. Irene felt it move lower, move closer, brushing against her bunched up skirt.
 
The meeting of her two new organs nearly caused her to collapse again, falling back against the glass, ass pressing against the window as her tentacle cock wrapped around her flexible tongue and was sucked back into her newly mouth-like pussy. It was a confusing and erotic collection of stimuli, completely alien yet completely right, a 360-degree feedback loop of self-fucking. She came remarkably fast, one hand clutching a breast, the other violently frigging her hard clit, muffled screams from around the shaft which was pulsing and shooting its load into her milking cunt. Irene was an incarnation of the obscene.
 
She staggered to her chair and collapsed at her desk, her new cock slipping out of her pussy even as her new tongue lapped at the glans, her lips and her thighs, drawing every drop of girlcum back behind the flushed curtains. Her eyes hooded, Irene instinctively began to flex muscles in her throat, feeling like she was taking abnormally long swallows. The shaft of her tentacle dick slurped back into her mouth, its lubricating coating gathering on her stretched lips. The head reached her mouth and with a little effort and a small *pop* descended out of sight. Irene gave a long gulp, then her small hand rose to her face. With an index finger she carefully collected the excess fluid from her lips before lowering her hand to her snatch and flicking her new tongue out, wrapping once around the finger and disappearing back inside of her. Lips smacked from below.
 
Irene sat for a very long time looking straight ahead. Two calls came through for her and she let them ring until they disconnected. The puddle of milk on her desk ceased to drip and slowly dried. The carpet would smell if she didn’t have it cleaned. Adam would mention it. He had a very sensitive nose.
 
This was his fault. She didn’t know how, she didn’t know why, but she knew, in the way only a wife can know her husband, the way only one human being can intimately know another, that this had something to do with Adam. Some of the dots were missing, but she knew it all came back to him. Adam and his mysterious work, in a lab far away from her own office but entirely too close to home. Irene worried about Vivian for a moment. She worried about Amy. She worried about her kids. She worried about whether or not her skirt would fit down over her newly expanded posterior. Her throat clenched. Her pussy parted slightly to allow her new tongue to taste the air.
 
“Wendy?” The beautiful Asian receptionist would likely be the most immediate answer to her two most pressing problems. “Would you please send a message to my husband’s lab? I’d like to see him as soon as possible. When you’re done, come in here please.” Number one: She needed someone to lick.
 
“Certainly Mrs. Turner, I’ll be right in.” Number two: She needed a hot wet pussy to cum in.
 
The rest she would figure out along the way.
 
Adam’s phone buzzed. A text from the lab receptionist. His wife wanted a word. It was urgent.
 
He glanced around the room. Maybe he could hold out for a few minutes. He desperately wanted to present his findings from the last few days, to espouse the potential of the genetic rewrites exhibited by their most recent strain of virus. The CEO sat nearby, apparently bored and giving extraordinary attention to his smartphone. Irene could probably wait a few minutes.
 
Another text.
 
She says it’s about your home lab.
 
Adam excused himself from the meeting and tried to make a quiet exit.
 
Daniel pounded down the hall racing for the bathroom. He had left Lillian in the supply closet after texting Nick. Hopefully Nick had a leftover camping blanket in his car to cover her and could drive her home before the lunch break. Daniel was desperate to pull himself away from Lillian’s new body, realizing that if they started fucking again they might never stop. Now he wanted to quickly scrub the splattered fluids off of his clothes and out of his hair before making the short walk home.
 
Barging into the men’s restroom Daniel was pulled up short by a sight which almost broke his brain. There, in the middle of the restroom was Helen, naked, being lifted up and down on the bulging cock of a muscle-bound behemoth who handled her like she was a toy, standing tall in the bathroom as he used her, hard. Her own cock slapped against his marble cut chest as she bounced against him and with a screech she ejected a massive load into the air over his shoulder.
 
“HELEN!”
 
Her eyes snapped open and she could only look at her brother with a shocked expression until the hulk began to pound into her harder, her eyes rolling up in her head and her body going limp, entirely out of her control. The last thing Daniel saw before he stumbled out of the restroom was the muscular giant holding the brunette dickgirl tight to him as he launched his seed deep inside of her.
 
Daniel sat in shock on the ground. He thought he heard muffled voices and giggles coming from the lady’s restroom, located beside the men’s, but couldn’t find it in himself to care. It was several long minutes until the door the men’s cracked open and Helen sheepishly emerged, fully clothed and looking anywhere except at Daniel.
 
“I’m really sorry you had to see that. Although maybe consider it payback for yesterday.”
 
Daniel pulled himself to his feet. “Helen we need to get out of the school. Obviously we’re contagious, and I have no idea what the long term side effects of these changes could be. We need to go before we infect anyone else.”
 
Helen just stared at the floor and shuffled a bit, clearing her throat. Daniel stared at her.
 
“You’re kidding. How many other people have you had sex with before second period?”
 
“I didn’t have sex with them!” Helen was defensive now, and her sheepishness at being caught swept away by indignation. “I thought it would be a practical joke, a little payback. I didn’t know we were contagious.”
 
“Who, Helen?” Daniel felt a pit beginning to form in his stomach as he definitely heard a giggling shriek come from the lady’s room, followed by a muffled shush. Wordlessly Helen stepped back and pushed open the door.
 
At first it was an indistinguishable morass of bodies but Daniel slowly began to make out shapes and colors in the collage. Marina was the easiest to spot as she was squat-standing above the other two girls. From behind her pale skin glistened, the curves of her breasts visible and wobbling with motion. Her red hair flowed, brushing against a pair of glittering insect wings which emerged from her hunched back and flitted unconsciously with her thrusts. Her waist was absurdly tiny, almost pinched together, but her hips had widened to become meaty and thick. From right above her tail bone was a curved fleshy shaft-like structure, which ran about twelve inches before expanding into a large, bulbous abdomen. With every thrust Marina drove her new abdomen down between the pale thrashing thighs of Kimber. Kimber rose her hips to meet the thrusts, juices splattering on the floor from where the girls joined. Kimber was groaning in stereo, and Daniel realized she had two heads, each making out with the other while her four arms caressed her slender body. Jaqueline squatted beside the two, deep throating one of the new eight-inch cocks which grew from her wrist while rubbing the other between Kimber’s two heads, letting them lick and fawn over the thick tip.
 
Jaqueline looked up and spotted the twin voyeurs as, with a grunt, Marina pulled her abdomen from Kimber’s pussy. Jaqueline popped a cock out of her mouth to say something but was overwhelmed as Marina’s abdomen pulsed hard and sprayed hot white fluid all over the girls, throbbing bulbously as it coated them in warm fluid. The two lackeys sputtered and choked on her discharge as Marina dropped her head, the abdomen pulling back and pointing downwards. The alabaster ginger dropped into a full squat like a frog and Daniel watched with morbidly aroused horror as her ass flexed, her back arched and her wings spread. A bulge appeared at the tip of the abdomen. With a final gasping push, Marina laid an egg.
 
Neither twin noticed the newly transformed Jake emerge from the men’s restroom, but they did notice as he pushed his naked bulk between them, Daniel flinching hard as Jake’s big limp dick slapped his shoulder. Turning, Jake shrugged sheepishly and gently pushed the door shut.
 
Helen was the first to speak.
 
“Yeah, we should probably go home.”
 
Daniel nodded dumbly.
 
As they turned to run, Helen remembered Allie.
 
Adam stepped into Irene’s dimly lit office. Her secretary was nowhere to be seen outside so he had let himself in. Irene’s blinds were down halfway, casting the office in dramatic shadows as the setting sun tried to push the last tendrils of its light into the room. As Adam’s sight adjusted he saw his wife’s outline in her chair, facing away from him towards the windows, legs crossed calmly, a glass of water held loosely in her right hand.
 
“Irene, hon? I heard there was trouble at home.”
 
A long sigh from the chair. Irene spun lazily around to face Adam. A glimpse of flushed cleavage uncomfortably reminded him how long it had been he had seen his wife naked.
 
“Not so much a problem as a couple of questions. But those can wait.” Irene rose from the chair and Adam gulped. The orange sun did wonders for her silhouette. She looked curvier than he was remembered, and he felt blood rise to his face, and rush to other parts of his body. She set the glass down on the desk and made her way around it to stand closer to Adam. He distractedly noticed the liquid was darker than water, before confirming his suspicions as Irene reached up, took his head in her hands and brought his lips to hers. As their tongues lashed, lips grinding together, Adam tasted bourbon and something else, tangy and slightly bitter. He wrapped his arms around his wife, bringing her close and feeling her breasts press into his chest. Suddenly he felt her give a strange gulping heave, and she pulled away quickly, hand covering her mouth.
 
“Hon, you alright?”
 
Irene took several deep breaths through her nose before gulping again. “Yeah, just… hiccups. Come here Adam.” She pushed herself back onto the desk and spread her legs, gesturing for him to join her. Small drops of dew glinted on her wet sex in the dim light. Adam moved forward, unbuckling his pants. His manhood was aching, and as he pulled it out it throbbed in the air. Irene took him gently in one hand and gave him several soft strokes, relishing in the feel of his length. He was sensitive, and twitched, almost escaping her grip. Slowly she guided him lower, drawing him inside of herself.
 
Adam’s pelvis clenched, his arms drew around his wife, squeezing her tightly as the sensation in her pussy overwhelmed him. He gave a loud, wordless groan as Irene’s pussy gripped and massaged him, moving around his cock in rippling waves, motions he’d never felt before. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her fingernails dug into his back and he squeezed her back in turn, crushing the air from her lungs in his shock.
 
They stood, motionless in the darkly blood orange office, locked together in ecstatic rictus. It didn’t even occur to Adam to thrust, Irene was milking him, her pussy grabbing and suckling on his cock in waves. For her part Irene was fast on her way to cumming, panting faster and faster.
 
“Uuuuuuuuuurrrrgh…” She gave a guttural groan as she felt something begin inside of her, waves of pleasure emanating up from her pussy to her throat, her whole body turning into a tuning fork, searching for the key of orgasm. Adam could feel himself cresting as well, and he began to move his hips, drawing out and in with fast, violent thrusts. “Eeuuuurggghh…” Irene could only make squealing animalistic noises and Adam hoped she wasn’t choking. He grabbed her hips and slammed himself into her, until something deep inside her wrapped itself around his shaft and squeezed, hard. Adam yelled, holding his wife tightly as he started to cum.
 
Over his shoulder, her eyes rolling up, Irene’s mouth cock erupted from her lips and thrashed violently, squirting pearly strings of semen around the office, splattering the soft carpet. She squealed around it, shaking hard as her entire body contracted and spasmed. Their respective orgasms went on for a minute or so until they began to come down off of their highs. Irene’s organ drooped onto Adam’s back and then slipped over his shoulder as she collapsed backwards onto her desk.
 
He stared at her in numb horror as the rope-like organ slowly spooled itself up her body, back to her luscious mouth before popping inside. A snail’s trail of cum gleamed on her blouse and chin. His freshly fucked wife looked up at him with sleepy eyes, still struggling to catch her breath.
 
“Adam… What’s in the basement?”
 
  
ACT III
+
{| border="0"
Daniel lay on his back in bed, staring at the ceiling. A small bug was making its way across the beige surface, and he wished so badly he could trade spaces with that bug, to forget about everything happening around him just crawl along, searching for food. His body wouldn’t let him rest for long though. Even now his taught stomach, freed from his restricting jeans, was starting to push over the elastic spandex of his basketball shorts.
+
! Typical monthly amount
It had been several hours since they had come home from school. Daniel had collapsed on his bed, stunned and tired, passing out in a deep slumber. Helen and Allie had gone to Helen’s room and while Daniel had puritanically imagined they would just be making conversation and doing whatever girls did when they hung out he was awoken mid nap by a loud, pleasured shriek and the low creaking of a childhood bed being taken for a ride its liberal Swedish designers could never have imagined. Now the halls were quiet except for the occasional hushed giggle, and Daniel found himself awake, examining himself in the glow of the evening sun.  
+
! Expense category
His stomach was quite rotund. Squirming, he removed his shirt and lay down again, staring at it as it gurgled and filled. Placing his hands on the sides he rubbed gently, pressing in certain spots, getting a feel for its give. It seemed to him that there was an obvious, liquid filled pocket forming directly underneath his belly button. Beneath that, the area right around his pubis was incredibly sensitive. Pressing inwards felt like taping his balls had before- dangerously sensitive. He grimaced, remembering the gut punch Helen had delivered yesterday. Had it only been yesterday that he was still… human? His stomach gurgled again, now as large as a woman 3 months pregnant.  
+
! Notes
Beneath the doming surface his tentacle cocks twitched. Daniel reached down and felt his trifecta, probing around their thick bases until he found the gash. Surrounded on all sides by male organs, this was distinctly feminine, and it made Daniel supremely uncomfortable to consider that he might-that he did have a vagina. As he felt around the edges he could feel it becoming moist, a warm tingling spreading up from his pelvis and making his breath hitch. His cocks began to writhe as he probed deeper into his own folds. He couldn’t find a clit- not because of his own incompetence but because he didn’t appear to have one. The gentle ministrations did feel amazing though, and Daniel made the quick conclusion that going deeper would probably feel even better. Suddenly, his phone buzzed. Then it buzzed again.
+
|-
Keeping one curious hand on his junk Daniel absentmindedly grabbed his phone and flipped open the lock screen. Snapchat notifications from Lillian began to pour in. The first, a grainy photo from her bedroom of her new udder filling the lower third of frame like some great pink planet, a tuft of black hair peeking over the top. The next a video of Nick, grinning as he rose and wiped his mouth, laughing and falling forward, wrestling for the phone. Then Nick, on his back, panting and writhing, sweat covering his body as he shivered, huge horns erupting from his forehead even as his body seemed to shrink on the bed. The next few stories were a series of pictures. A beautifully shaped pale breast, a solid handful with full moon areola, pouty, swollen lips, what appeared to be the ridge of a cock glans unlike any Daniel had seen before…
+
|$6,500.00
Daniel realized his hips were bucking frantically, two fingers sinking in and out of himself as his cocks curled around his wrists. One tentacle extended itself over his stomach, moving ominously forward until it hovered in front of his face. He realized that he could feel his own breath on the head and was reminded of the age old question high school boys ask each other: if you could suck your own dick, would you? The phone buzzed again.
+
|Rent
This time another video, a selfie of Lillian bent over doggy style while a beautiful raven-haired girl with massive bull horns gripped her wide hips and plowed into her from behind. Sweat coated them both and Lillian’s four breasts wobbled and slapped against each other, spraying milk in erratic bursts onto the sheets. Between the tan orbs the dark mass of her udder flopped forward and back. Lil moaned deeply and pushed her hips backwards, her fat posterior rippling as flesh met flesh.
+
|Up from $3960 several years ago, and our current lease runs out next year
Behind her the raven, barely recognizable as Nick, screamed. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, I’m cuminnnnnnnggg…!” Lillian barely had enough time to pull forward and spin around, aiming the camera at the newly formed petite woman as she wrapped two hands around her fourteen-inch flat-headed bull cock, her honeydew melon-sized ballsack slapping against her thighs as her hips thrust involuntarily. The skin was dark and leathery, speckled with darker spots, and the dick jerked angrily before Nick screamed, throwing her head back and ejecting a massive load at Lillian just as the video stopped.
+
|-
One last picture. Lillian, cum positively flowing down her grinning face, Nick licking her sticky cheek with the caption ‘New Niki. Lots of fun. where r u?’.
+
|$1,578.16
Daniel glanced back at his hovering cock. He doubletapped the screen to record a message and looked right at the camera.
+
|Tor Project
“Come over. Right now.”
+
|Self-supporting but income is counted in our totals
While the video recorded he withdrew his hand and grabbed a cock, letting the other two plunge into his mouth and pussy.  
+
|-
Fuck it. When in Rome.
+
|$700
Allie sprawled out on Helen’s bed, her blonde curls piling into a messy halo around her head. She aimlessly kicked her feet before looking at a very uncomfortable Helen.  
+
|Club Mate
“Where are all your pillows?” She propped herself up on her elbows to look around. Allie’s shirt rode up her midriff and Helen couldn’t help it as her eyes were drawn magnetically to the smooth skin curving gently up from her jeans, seeing the hint of belly button.  
+
|Purchased in bulk and made available for donation in the space, self-supporting
“Uhhm, I spilled soda on my bed the other day, haven’t cleaned up yet.”
+
|-
Allie laughed and rolled over, grabbing her cell phone. Her big butt swayed until she settled and Helen gulped loudly, her python pushing slowly down the leg of her spandex. “For someone so smart you can be such a klutz sometimes.” Loud noise began to pour out of her phone and both girls flinched, Allie lowering the volume. “Sorry, Penelope just sent me a Snap, apparently there’s like an orgy or something going on in the cafeteria. Come here, check it out.
+
|$900
With trepidation Helen approached, taking the time to soak in Allie’s rear before joining her on the bed. Their arms pressing into each other sent an electric jolt through Helen, and she did her best not to instinctively snuggle into her best friend, to embrace her and pull her shirt up to expose her perky, bitable breasts. Helen breathed deeply through her nose.  
+
|Other snacks and drinks
On the screen more snaps were flowing in from different friends. Allie tapped on another from Penelope. It was a scene from the school cafeteria. Penelope was laughing as the camera wobbled and she moved through the space. People were running left and right, bodies coupling together on tables and the floor. In the center of the room was the biggest pile though, a group of transformed people engaging in different levels of debauchery. Penelope seemed afraid to get closer and she stopped, still filming as bodies writhed and fluids flew.  
+
|Purchased in bulk and made available for donation in the space, self-supporting
“This is hilarious” said Allie. “I wonder if this is the senior prank? Like, a bunch of people got prosthetics or something from a sex toy store?” Helen was silent.
+
|-
Suddenly one member of the group, a slim brown girl that Helen recognized as their Australian exchange student of Indian descent rose to her feet. She was cradling a massive three-foot cock, and her beanbag sized sack had risen to the base of her shaft. Her stomach rippled, and she leaned back as her abs seemed to stretch outwards. With a scream, her body crunched forward and a massive globule of semen shot straight at the camera. The video ended as the camera seemed to be torn out of Penelope’s hand.
+
|$550
“Wow. That was so ridiculous.” Allie’s brow was furrowed, and she seemed less amused. “I don’t know how they did the semen trick though, maybe a pump or a hose.” She began to look at other Snaps.
+
|PG&E Electric Utility
In one picture a male student had an unusually ribbed penis resting in a female teacher’s mouth while her breasts flowed out of her blouse and onto the floor. In another video three giggling platinum blonde triplets (or at least they appeared to be, with barely recognizable differences between the girls) licked each other’s bald pussies with thick foot-long tongues. Cock hands, centaurs, green men, body building women, more and more transformations flashed by on the screen as Allie clicked through faster and faster. She couldn’t go fast enough. Every student with a social media account was posting transformations of themselves or others. Helen could only watch, horrified at what she’d help unleash.
+
|Watch our power usage in real time here: https://grafana.noisebridge.net/d/MzEBCziik/power
Allie stopped on Penelope again. A petite girl with straight brown hair and small but perky breasts, Penelope was standing in a bathroom filming the mirror. She was crying a little, covered head to toe in milky slime and trying to get it out of her hair. “If this is a senior prank guys it’s like, not funny anymore” she sniffled, looking miserable. Suddenly she doubled over. Strangely, she continued to film, looking up at herself in the mirror as her breasts expanded, going from almost flat to large handfuls in seconds. She seemed to be muttering to herself, but stood straight and pressed her chest out, groaning. Her breasts, now big wobbling sacks almost as big as her head erupted forward, tearing her tank-top and jiggling to a stop. Penelope caressed them with one hand, running her fingers along the lips of the mouths that now rested on her breast flesh in the place of nipples. The full-lipped mouths slobbered and slurped at her fingers before one smiled and said “I could really use a cock right now.” The video ended.
+
|-
Allie dropped her phone to the ground, stunned. “What’s happening back there?” she asked, turning to Helen. Helen’s face was beet red, her whole body heating up in embarrassment and shame. Her shame didn’t dissuade her erection though, the sweaty shaft now firmly pinned to her inner thigh and sandwiched between her and the bed. Allie popped up onto her knees. She was beginning to become frantic. “Is that why you grabbed me out of class? Helen, we have to tell someone. We have to call the cops, the police, the army or something. I have to call my mom!”
+
|$235.35
“Allie, it’s going to be alright.
+
|Accounting
“Alright? Are you kidding? Like, the whole school just got mutated by some kind of sex virus, that is so far from being alright I literally can’t even. I can’t. What do we do!? Does Daniel know what’s going on?”
+
|Mostly CPA fees for dealing with the state
“Yeah and we’ve both seen it in person, okay?” Helen looked down at the sheets, nearly scarlet beneath her lightly tanned complexion. “It’s not… it’s not that bad.” Allie, still on her knees on the bed, stared incredulously at her friend until the implications of Helen’s statement finally clicked. She chose her next words carefully, speaking softly, staring at Helen whose eyes remained locked firmly on the bed spread in front of her.
+
|-
“You changed too.
+
|$547.69
Helen couldn’t meet Allie’s eyes as she rose to her knees opposite her friend. She slowly pulled her sundress up her legs, dreading the reaction to her deformed anatomy that was sure to follow. Inch by inch Helen’s straining monster cock was revealed. The thin fabric of her tights kept the beast contained, but the material was stretched thin, the pink skin of her thigh and organ showing through the black. The tip had steadily been leaking precum, and it had created a smeared, frothy puddle on the spandex. Helen finally had her dress up to her waist, and she sat there, looking down. The silence was unbearable.  
+
|Garbage & Recycling
Suddenly, a small pale hand entered her vision, gripping her cock and squeezing. Helen moaned and her hips bucked forward involuntarily. Allie had a clinical frown on her face while she prodded and squeezed the organ through the shorts. Her grasp was clumsy; Helen knew she had never actually touched a penis before in her life.  
+
|Twice weekly pickup is more expensive
Her ministrations stopped and Allie sat back, staring as the dick throbbed. “Okay, so it’s real. It’s really real.
+
|-
Helen gripped it through her pants, sensation flooding her as she tried to regain control. “Hnnngh… It’s not a joke. I got it from the virus.”
+
|$189.29
“So it’s contagious? That sounds like some erotic science-fiction bullshit.
+
|Printing
“Look at me. It’s not bullshit but it is contagious. But the changes are random. I don’t know how, I just know is it makes everything feel…” Helen gasped as her cock throbbed and belched another load of pre into her tights “…it makes everything feel good.” She knew she’d have to leave soon, sequester herself in a bathroom or the lab and relieve the pressure. The temptation was too much, and this cock was starting to take over her brain. Having Allie in front of her, blue eyes, dimpled cheeks, a fit but curvy body just ready for her to sink into. Helen squeezed her eyes closed and rocked back, putting her hands behind her to support herself. She was trembling.  
+
|T-shirts and stickers
Hands gripped her tight waistband and pulled violently. Helen’s eyes popped open at the same time that her dick sprung free, flicking a fat globule of precum up across Allie’s left breast and all the way up to her chin. With one hand Allie grabbed the thick shaft to stop it bouncing, with the other she scooped the clear pre from her neck and popped the finger in her mouth. Helen gasped. “Allie! You’ll change.
+
|-
“I know.” She forced Helen’s legs out from under her and continued to tug her tights off, revealing sleek tan legs while Helen’s big dick bounced and bobbed, the tip hovering just Allie’s shoulder. The tights gone, she pushed Helen back and leaned forward, sandwiching the girlcock between their soft bodies as she grabbed the sides of Helen’s face and locked their lips together. Helen throbbed against Allie’s collar bone even as she wrapped her arms around her best friend and brought her close, their hair tangling together, the world dissolving until it was just them and the bedroom, an impregnable island in a sea of desire.
+
|$183.48
They broke apart only for a moment, stripping out of their clothes as fast as possible. Allie’s body was incredible. Curvy thighs, perky, handful sized tits with pale little pink nipples. Her stomach only had a light padding of baby fat, with a hint of abs. Allie pulled off her pants, keeping her lime green thong on and Helen admired her creamy ass emerging, not huge but well-shaped, on the verge of being a certifiable booty. Helen pulled off her sundress and had just barely discarded it before she was tackled again, Allie walloping into her and shoving her face into her friends jiggling breasts.  
+
|Insurance
A moment of hilarity ensued as Allie tried to find a nipple to bite. She fumbled with Helen’s swollen boobs, cupping and rubbing them with her eyes shut as she licked the wobbling orbs, eagerly awaiting a hard nub in her mouth. She slowed, opening her eyes and staring at the Helen’s smooth frontage. Helen, having watched the whole time started giggling uncontrollably.  
+
|An annual expense
“Was this…?”
+
|-
“Yeah, the virus took my nipples.” Helen grabbed her new boobs and bounced them up and down, Allie staring while they sloshed. “They’re basically big balls now, I think it’s where I keep all my cum. Every time I blow I shrink back down to my original size.”
+
|$75
“That’s like… so weirdly hot.” Allie had sat up on Helen’s waist, above her cock, and was cupping her own boobs now, about half Helen’s size, running her hands over her nipples thoughtfully. Helen felt her dick throb, pressing up between Allie’s ass cheeks and rubbing against the lacy fabric of her thong. She took Allie’s distraction as an opportunity, grabbing her waist, flipping her over and spreading her legs. Allie shrieked in glee and then moaned with lust as Helen grabbed her wrists, holding them above her head and kissing her deeply as the dick between them rubbed against Allie’s clit, butting against the fabric of her panties in throbbing frustration. Helen broke their kiss and pulled herself to Allie, nestling her face in her neck and whispering into her ear. “I want you.”
+
|Internet
Allie couldn’t even speak, only nod as her mouth hung open and she panted. Her hands moved down and she pulled the thong aside while gripping Helen’s thick mushroom tip and pulling it into her boiling embrace.  
+
|Monkeybrains
The girls groaned in unison, Allie’s walls stretching to accommodate the massive penis and Helen feeling unimaginable tightness as Allie’s lips stretched over her glans, sucking her inside. One, two, three- Helen stopped trying to count the inches, she could only look down and stare as she tenuously worked her length into her best friend. Finally, she encountered resistance and stopped. More than half of her penis was still exposed, but she knew Allie must have seven or eight inches of her thick rod inside of her. Slowly Helen withdrew a couple inches before beginning to saw in and out.
+
|-
For her part Allie was almost lost to pleasure. She spread her legs wider, gripping the sheets as Helen built up steam. Soft breasts bounced hypnotically when an orgasm would shake her, her back arching up and moisture starting to form on her body. She managed to peel her eyes open for a moment and the sight of Helen above her, big tits sloshing back and forth, staring down at her friend’s body she drove a massive dick inside of her sent Allie over the edge again. She grasped Helen and pulled her to her chest, delighting in the sensation of their sweaty breasts rubbing across one another. Helen was gasping now, putting her arms under Allie for leverage and slamming into her core. As her body started to spasm she squeezed her friend and shrieked, before blowing load after load of hot cum into Allie’s snatch.  
+
|$150
Allie could only stare up at the ceiling as she stroked Helen’s smooth back and felt her tremble with the aftershocks of her orgasm. She still couldn’t believe she had fucked Helen, not even as Helen weakly pulled her softening member out her dripping pussy and rolled over to lie next to her. Allie looked at Helen, drinking in her body, her deflated breasts, her still impressive and meaty cock before noticing Helen was looking at her too. Their eyes met at the same time and they started giggling profusely.  
+
|Water
“Look at you all tuckered out. Someone needs to do a little cardio” said Helen jokingly, fully aware she was as equally sweaty as and out of breath as Allie was.  
+
|SFPUC
“Hmmm…” Allie rolled over onto her side and was pleased when Helen followed her lead, spooning up against her back. She felt Helen’s thick member lodge itself between her ass cheeks and trembled, growing hot again. “I had no idea sex was so physical. They never teach you that in Health class.
+
|-
Helen kissed the back of her neck, nibbling her way down to Allie’s shoulder. “Maybe next time we could try you on top.” A hand snaked around to grip Allie’s pert breast, playing with the nipple. Helen pushed softly and they rolled over until Allie was on her front and Helen’s full weight was resting on her rump, her cock hardening and working its way down Allie’s inner thigh. “Or from behind.
+
|$40.33
Allie could only pant and nod. She felt dizzy. She couldn’t think. She groaned again this time in discomfort. “Helen, I don’t feel so good… ungh!” Helen pulled back and could only stare as Allie’s body began to morph before her eyes.
+
|Misc
The first thing Helen saw, from her vantage point behind Allie, was a fluttering at Allie’s pussy. The lips and folds, which before had been very petite, discretely hidden behind the fabric of the thong she still wore, began to puff up and swell, her clit poking out ever so slightly, the hole beginning to dew as moisture dripped out. In moments Allie had a pussy which was doing its best to swallow her thong, uncontainable but looking absolutely delicious. Allie’s ass followed suit, rippling as it widened and grew, expanding both in mass and width, broadening until her hips expanded a few inches beyond her shoulders. Allie’s thong had virtually disappeared, swallowed by her new asset, her thighs thickening as well but tapering down to her still svelte calves and feet.  
+
|PO box, misc 2169 repair supplies, Adobe Acrobat subscription
Allie rolled over onto her back and spread her legs wide, her eyes rolling backwards into her head as she used four fingers to mash her big new pussy. Her breasts were expanding as well, pushing up and jiggling. She didn’t grow much- what started out as perky handfuls graduated to what would probably be equated with grapefruits. The biggest change was her nipples. The small perky nubs grew red and swelled, shifting downward as small hoods of flesh grew over half their lengths. Helen realized with a shock that Allie’s nipples had become clits, swaying on the tips of her breasts. She couldn’t resist, Helen leaned down and grabbed one in her mouth as Allie shuddered and came, the last of her transformation sweeping over her. Her lips thickened slightly and began to drool while her hair cascaded down her back, pooling up around her on the bed until she was absolutely swimming in golden curls. She came down, panting while Helen lay on her chest. “Wow.”
+
|}
The dickgirl looked up. “See? Not so bad. And-“ She flicked her tongue out to lick a nipple causing Allie to flinch. “-you’ve got nip clits!” Allie looked down before gripping her breasts and pushing them up to stare at her new mounds. Meanwhile Helen was working her way down, grabbing the stretched strings of the struggling green thong and pulling them over hips they were never designed to fit. Allie cautiously rubbed her new tips and moaned, feeling the pleasure rocket straight from her breasts down to her pussy, moisture dripping from her lips to run between her thick new cheeks and onto the sheets. New muscles deep within her contracted, desperate for something long and hard to squeeze down on.
+
 
“God, you look so hot.” Helen was rubbing the head of her penis against Allie’s new thick lips.  
+
=== Financial Reports ===
“Wait!” Helen pulled back, suddenly apprehensive. Allie twisted and clumsily moved her new body until she was on all fours, fat ass glistening in the air, new breasts pressed against the sheets where she could feel the sensation them rubbing along the fabric acutely. “Okay captain, go to town.
+
 
Helen grinned and swatted Allie’s butt with one hand while grabbing her rod with the other and guiding it forward until the turgid head pressed fully against her friend’s opening. Allie giggled and then moaned and then shouted as Helen pressed slowly but firmly, slipping her indomitable length into her friend’s pussy. She stopped hilt deep, a perfect fit. Allie’s soft ass felt so comfortable pressed against her abdomen, the ripples of her pussy fluttered against Helen’s mutant organ. This was heaven.
+
'''Financial Report - July 10, 2018'''
As Helen rocked in and out she lost herself to sensation. She didn’t hear the sound of the front door over the slapping of flesh, she was too busy watching Allie’s ass ripple with every thrust to hear movement downstairs. Helen was too busy enjoying what she’d become.
+
 
Irene struggled to drag Adam down the stairs to the lab. He could barely support his own weight and had arm over her shoulders, grabbing clumsily at the handrail as they plodded downwards. Adam had rushed them to his car after hastily cleaning up, but halfway home they had to trade as Adam experienced a violent bout of nausea. Irene had glanced over at her husband several times as they sped through the city and into the suburbs, observing his sweat and perspiration.
+
Noisebridge has $92,658.03 in the bank.
Now he was desperately scrambling around the basement lab as she looked on, grabbing syringes, several vials and a rubber band. Panting heavily, he removed his lab coat and Irene saw that sweat coated his body, creating damp puddles on his checkered oxford. His hands trembled as he filled two syringes from separate vials.
+
 
“The virus was derived from my own DNA,” Adam explained “I only made a vaccine that matched my own genetic signature in case I was ever exposed.” His eyes flicked up to his wife, unconsciously licking her lips in worry. “I never imagined it would go this far.”
+
_Breakdown:_
Rolling up his sleeves, Adam rolled the rubber band up his arm and prepped a syringe. “This- “he slowly pushed the needle in, focusing to keep his hands from jumping too much. “-is the primer.” The needle empty he withdrew and took a deep breath, steadying himself. Grabbing the next needle he placed it on his arm. “Okay, this is the shot that will- GRAAAGH!” Adam’s whole body spasmed violently and the needle flew from his hand, shattering on the floor. Adam dropped sideways as his wife screamed and ran to his side. Rolling him over Irene saw that tiny bits of glass from the dropped syringe dug into his arm and cheek. Brushing the glass off or picking it from his face, Irene reached for the discarded lab coat and used it to steady her husband’s head as he began to change.
+
 
Adam’s body began to bloat. Like a slow motion chemical reaction his limbs swelled, straining against the fabric of his clothes and obscuring the shape of joints or bones. In moments his clothes had shredded, and Irene was pushed back by soft, fluffy skin as the features of her husband disappeared into a blob which relentlessly grew outwards and upwards. In moments his flesh resolved itself into a perfect sphere, totally smooth with a light tracing of veins until it quivered and began to grow even larger.  
+
$64,519.34 in the General Fund
Irene covered her mouth with her hands, tears streaming down her face as the thing before her grew larger and larger, throbbing gently. It grew to her height and surpassed her. It grew to her husband’s old height and surpassed that. It made its way to the ceiling where it lost its spherical shape and began to meld outwards, tendrils sinking into the concrete ceiling, enveloping fluorescent lights, the bulbs extinguishing as wire-like growths invaded their sockets. Finally, it slowed, the growth ceasing, the outer shell settling into a gentle pulsing rhythm. At its center a small puckered hole appeared.
+
 
“Adam…?” No response. Irene crept forward, trembling. The thing that had been her husband gurgled gently. Reaching out her hand she placed it on the smooth skin. “Honey, can you hear me? Please…please let me know if you can hear me.” No response. Irene placed both hands on either side of the strange pucker and pushed gently to test the growth’s tensile strength. She felt something deep within which was almost familiar. A warmth, resistance in the shape of a form. It reminded her of when she was pregnant, and was that a kick she felt-
+
$8,732.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)
A hand erupted out of the pucker in front of her face, liquid spraying Irene as she screamed and staggered back. The pucker stretched, liquid pouring out as an arm, then a shoulder, then another arm and finally a head shoved themselves out of the object. With a long groan the naked figure of a man fell to the ground with a loud slap. Irene could only look in awe as he rose slowly to his feet.
+
 
In front of her stood her husband but not her husband. He was eight feet tall, with broad shoulders, a physique which was unnerving in its inhuman symmetry, his skin completely free of hair or blemishes except for the brown mane on his head. His eyes were piercing as they focused on her, seeing more than just her body, seeing directly into her soul. He began to stride toward her, and Irene caught sight of a massive cock slapping softly against his thighs with every step. The promethean figure stopped before her and Irene looked up into the eyes of her new husband.  
+
$5,351.38 in the Equipment Fund
Irene was relieved when a smile spread across the giant’s face, his eyes crinkling as he looked down upon his wife. New Adam lowered himself to one knee so he could be eye level with his wife. Irene reached out to stroke his hair, and realized that a thin cord of skin stretched from the back of his neck to the puckered hole in the blob rising behind them.  
+
 
“What happened to you?”
+
$3,271.28 in the Laser Maintenance Fund
Adam’s eyes crinkled again, his mouth beaming out that perfect smile. “The virus showed me what I could become. It’s my DNA, it’s part of me… and it can be part of us now too. It can be a new, liberating addition to the human genome.
+
 
“Imagine it…” Adam raised his hand and stared at it as it began to morph, splitting and multiplying into two hands, then four, then eight. “A whole world full of love and change. No more war. No more shame.” The hands snapped back into one and Adam looked at his wife once again. “Just pleasure. That is our purpose. Will you join me?”
+
$200 in the Accessibility Fund
Irene’s eyes were tearing again as memories from Adam’s first proposal came rushing back to her, the wind in her hair on the bluffs on a local hike. Back then it was just them, partners in crime, on a mission they themselves didn’t know. That was before work, before kids, before mortgages or car payments and now? Now there was a mission, a real mission, and they would be together again. A family. She couldn’t speak, but was nodding vigorously, pressing her face against Adam’s and feeling his lips on her lips, his massive hands exploring her waist, her hips, squeezing her butt tightly. A slurping sound came from behind them, another splat. They separated and Irene looked over Adam’s shoulder in awe as an identical copy of his new body approached, clutching a football-sized egg.
+
 
Adam 1 rose before her and she realized they were both hard, perfect cocks bobbing before her in unison, making her lower mouth drool and her throat twitch. “I can’t go far” Adam said. “But I can become many. I’ll need your help to carry the seed to new places. Crowded places.”
+
$10,177.45 in the Elevator Repair Fund
“Of course.” Irene couldn’t tear her eyes away from the clones, and they smiled as they saw her need. Adam 2 gently set the seed on the floor as they closed in on Irene, touching her, feeling her, caressing her body and undressing her together. “First let’s make sure you’re well taken care of.”
+
 
Epilogue.
+
$358.92 in the Sewing Fund
In the weeks and months since the initial outbreak the worlds governments claimed a state of emergency, largely restricting international travel whilst various agencies worked overtime to find a cure for the virus. The general propaganda was that things were Under Control, that a vaccine was being developed quickly and that populations should remain calm while they authorities sorted things out. Indeed, it wasn’t untrue that vaccines were being developed and were being deployed; some of these were even quite effective. After the first three months the world ruckus generally died down as the virus became another normality in life, always on the fringes and never quite disappearing completely. It was assumed the vaccines were working but that rare individuals remained unvaccinated, and in the true spirit of humanity’s relationship with abstinence were simply unable to keep it in their pants.
+
 
The vaccines never lasted long. Behind the scenes, and to the horror of scientists and researchers, the virus mutated alarmingly fast. In an almost supernatural twist the virus developed new defense mechanisms to almost every vaccine it was presented with, as if it were working side-by-side with the researchers to develop countermeasures to everything they threw at it. At 6 months the larger agencies began to panic as they realized that the public infection rate continued to rise on an exponential level.  
+
$47 in the Electronics Fund
To throw additional tinder on the fire, most people were realizing quite liked the virus. After the initial shock and panic of suddenly finding your body and sex organs drastically mutated, the majority of infected realized that their changes had actually stemmed from some deeply repressed desire or other, and that living their true lives was a sort of ‘coming-out’ for them. Life went on, sex improved vastly and aggression dropped drastically. One by one researchers working on a cure began to have ‘accidents’, ‘spills’, ‘tragic one night stands’. In two years the researcher teams worldwide had dwindled down to pathetically small numbers, groups of particularly prudish people hawkishly working against the impossible while everyone else around them had fantastic sex. Eventually it was the ‘unfortunate’ infection of one world leader after another (and a particularly remarkable orgy on the U.S Senate floor between nine teaparty conservatives, kicked off by several infected representatives from Planned Parenthood who had stopped by for a congressional hearing) which led to the defunding and closure of the research facilities fighting the virus.  
+
 
New sorts of quasi-religions began to emerge. Infected with less visually arresting mutations began to go on pilgrimages to rural villages, small towns, outposts and populations separated from the outside world. They never forced themselves on the residents- instead these pilgrims would find the few in the villages who were daring, or unhappy with their bodies, socially or artistically transgressive. The pilgrim would share the gift, what they called The Seed, with those who wanted it. Eventually, like all things fun and most things sexual, the Seed would begin to spread among the population until eventually the last stragglers would just shrug and hop on the bandwagon in one way or another.
+
0.1626 BTC in the HODL Fund
It was in this way that, by 2036, almost 95% of the world population was infected. True to Adam’s word, war and famine dropped by such an extreme degree that humanity began enjoying a new age of prosperity. The future was bright and the stars beckoned from their black cradles in the sky. And as for Adam?
+
 
He and Irene were happy. They were together. Their kids were in love, off in college. Wherever she went, she knew he was nearby. Whenever she was with him he was complete. Life was good. Although, thought Irene as three Adam clones penetrated every hole she had, it might be fun to share her good fortune. She hadn’t seen Vivian in a while.
+
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
We renewed our lease through August 2019!
 +
 
 +
Noisetor Note:
 +
noisetor.net/finances is still down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.
 +
 
 +
The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0
 +
 
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - June 24, 2018'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $94,694.45 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
 
 +
$79,679.5 in the General Fund
 +
 
 +
$10,704.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)
 +
 
 +
$437.64 in the Equipment Fund
 +
 
 +
$3,094.28 in the Laser Maintenance Fund
 +
 
 +
$200 in the Accessibility Fund
 +
 
 +
$177.45 in the Elevator Repair Fund
 +
 
 +
$358.92 in the Sewing Fund
 +
 
 +
$42 in the Electronics Fund
 +
 
 +
0.1626 BTC in the HODL Fund
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
The equipment fund is nearly exhausted, but there is a consensus proposal to refill it with $5,000 from the general fund. It was a huge success and should probably be refilled, in the treasurer's opinion. https://www.noisebridge.net/wiki/Equipment_fund
 +
 
 +
The snack program is gradually being automated.
 +
 
 +
We signed a lease renewal through August 2019, but are waiting on the landlord's signature. Our rent will go up to $6,500 per month, and we will be responsible for up to $10,000 in elevator repair costs per year, with cost-splitting with the landlord after that.
 +
 
 +
We paid Scandiuzzi Krebs $2,000 for delivery of the discovery document.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - May 29, 2018'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $100,161.75 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
''_Breakdown:_''
 +
 
 +
$81,920.98 in the general fund
 +
 
 +
$12,278.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)
 +
 
 +
$2,432.14 in the equipment fund
 +
 
 +
$2,791.28 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
 
 +
$200 in the Accessibility Fund
 +
 
 +
$179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund
 +
 
 +
$358.92 in the Sewing Fund
 +
 
 +
0.1626 BTC in the HODL Fund
 +
 
 +
''Notes:''
 +
 
 +
The broadcast fund was exhausted. Great work everyone! It helped fund NGALAC, a new USB conference microphone, a new projector, coax cables, and A/V and lighting equipment for the 10th Anniversary Party which is still useful for other events.
 +
 
 +
We passed $100,000 in the bank, which is 1.4% of the way to our goal of $7,000,000. We also passed $80,000 in the general fund for the first time, not counting the HODL Fund, which belongs to the general fund but has wildly fluctuating prices that are not worth recording until we sell our crypto.
 +
 
 +
The fridge has snacks and drinks now. We seem to be getting enough in donations to cover costs, but not much extra for the general fund. Please donate when you take drinks and snacks from the fridge so that we can continue to keep Noisebridge stocked!
 +
 
 +
We've brought in $13,151.63 so far this month, so my estimate for the month as a whole is $13,500. This is $6,500 shy of our monthly goal of $20,000 per month.
 +
 
 +
Noisetor Note:
 +
noisetor.net/finances is still down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.
 +
 
 +
The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0
 +
 
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - May 7, 2018'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $97,722.91 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
''Breakdown:''
 +
 
 +
$77,956 in the general fund
 +
 
 +
$12,826.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)
 +
 
 +
$3,075.07 in the equipment fund
 +
 
 +
$392.21 in the broadcast fund
 +
 
 +
$2,791.28 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
 
 +
$200 in the Accessibility Fund
 +
 
 +
$179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund
 +
 
 +
$301.92 in the Sewing Fund
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
Our regular recurring income looks like $12,700 per month, based on April. That's a big jump! We need to get to $20,000 to be sustainable.
 +
 
 +
We briefly passed $100,000 in the bank for the first time on April 25th, and again early in May. We dropped back down with spending on food, drinks, t-shirts, stickers, etc. Investments for the future!
 +
 
 +
I think we should hit $100 in profit per day from food and drinks alone. We'll see!
 +
 
 +
We paid our rent for May, and paid Scandiuzzi Krebs $2,000 for the first installment for their discovery document. They're professional fundraisers who will help us develop a strategy to get grants and more recurring donations.
 +
 
 +
We've begun purchasing snacks and drinks in bulk for the space, available for suggested donations. We want to buy another pallet of Club Mate soon. We put in an order for more stickers and t-shirts, which should hopefully arrive in time for Maker Faire.
 +
 
 +
Noisetor Note:
 +
noisetor.net/finances is still down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.
 +
 
 +
The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - April 10, 2018'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $94,512.02 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
''Breakdown:''
 +
 
 +
$73,091.11 in the general fund
 +
 
 +
$14,798.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)
 +
 
 +
$3,075.07 in the equipment fund
 +
 
 +
$392.21 in the broadcast fund
 +
 
 +
$2,473.28 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
 
 +
$200 in the Accessibility Fund
 +
 
 +
$179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund
 +
 
 +
$301.92 in the Sewing Fund
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
The NGALAC payments have been taken out of the bank account now, which is reflected in the lower total since the 7th. Noisetor paid $1,547 for hosting yesterday.
 +
 
 +
Noisetor Note:
 +
noisetor.net/finances is still down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.
 +
 
 +
The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - April 7, 2018'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $96,221.55 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
''Breakdown:''
 +
$73,226.64 in the general fund
 +
 
 +
$16,372.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)
 +
 
 +
$3,075.07 in the equipment fund
 +
 
 +
$392.21 in the broadcast fund
 +
 
 +
$2,473.28 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
 
 +
$200 in the Accessibility Fund
 +
 
 +
$179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund
 +
 
 +
$301.92 in the Sewing Fund
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
Noisetor Note:
 +
noisetor.net/finances is still down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.
 +
 
 +
The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - March 28, 2018'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $88,534.41 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$64,986.18 in the general fund, which about the same as last month's benchmark, after correcting for the Club Mate purchase
 +
$15,872.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)
 +
$3,825.70 in the equipment fund
 +
$764.82 in the broadcast fund
 +
$2,473.28 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$200 in the Accessibility Fund
 +
$179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund
 +
$232 in the Sewing Fund
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
We have paid our rent for April. We spent $1,965.79 on a pallet of Club Mate, which should make back a significant profit over time.
 +
 
 +
Noisetor Note:
 +
noisetor.net/finances is still down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.
 +
 
 +
The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0
 +
 
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - February 28, 2018'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $90,445.97 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$66,835.74 in the general fund, which is over 10 months of critical expenses. (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)
 +
$16,270.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)
 +
$3,825.70 in the equipment fund
 +
$764.82 in the broadcast fund
 +
$2,137.28 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$200 in the Accessibility Fund
 +
$179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund
 +
$232 in the Sewing Fund
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
We have paid our rent for March.
 +
 
 +
The Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation has been registered as an independent nonprofit in Pennsylvania and obtained independent 501(c)(3) nonprofit status. Now that its status is confirmed and it has an independent checking account, I have transferred its funds from Noisebridge to the new organization. I confirmed the deposit is complete, so it will no longer be in the financial reports. Our first grant will be a small competitive scholarship given to a senior graduating from Thomas’ high school this spring with an interest in creative writing.
 +
 
 +
Circuit Hacking Mondays has also been removed from the financial reports since the reimbursements have been made. I'm no longer tracking the Roguelike Celebration as a placeholder since I don't believe there is any more action there. Everything is rolled into the general fund.
 +
 
 +
Looks like noisetor.net/finances is down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.
 +
 
 +
The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0
 +
 
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - January 12, 2018'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $86,379.08 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$43,957.03 in the general fund, which is over 7 months of critical expenses. (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)
 +
$20,364.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)
 +
$4,498.74 in the equipment fund
 +
$3,021.64 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation
 +
$1,412.96 in the broadcast fund
 +
$2,137.28 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
$200 in the Accessibility Fund
 +
$179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund
 +
$232 in the Sewing Fund
 +
$XXX in the Roguelike Celebration fund (placeholder—all roguelike moneys treated as general fund until we reconcile numbers)
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
The Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation has been registered as an independent nonprofit in Pennsylvania and obtained independent 501(c)(3) nonprofit status. Now that its status is confirmed and it has an independent checking account, I will be transferring its funds from Noisebridge to the new organization. Our first grant will be a small competitive scholarship given to a senior graduating from Thomas’ high school this spring with an interest in creative writing.
 +
 
 +
@patrickod looks like noisetor.net/finances is down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.
 +
 
 +
The sewing fund was seeded by a donation from Vice for shooting a documentary interview in our space. It’s always existed, but is being tracked in the financial report for the first time after a reminder from the sewing crew.
 +
 
 +
What’s up with the Roguelike Celebration? I haven’t heard from anyone involved in that for quite some time.
 +
 
 +
The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - November 08, 2017'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $80,315.65 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$42,364.28 in the general fund, which is just over 7 months of critical expenses.
 +
$26,092.66 for Noisetor
 +
$5,622.15 in the equipment fund
 +
$2,947.48 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation
 +
$1,412.96 in the broadcast fund
 +
$1121.35 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
$200 in the Accessibility Fund
 +
$179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund
 +
$XXX in the Roguelike Celebration fund (placeholder—all roguelike moneys treated as general fund until we reconcile numbers)
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
We’ve paid our rent for November. Our lease is up at the end of August 2018, and not getting renewed. We probably need to raise a bunch of money to move somewhere else.
 +
 
 +
Some major general fund purchases: We paid to renew our PO box ($490) and our board directors insurance ($1,009). We also paid a $50 fine to the state of California for some paperwork snafu.
 +
 
 +
This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since October 5 and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship, as well as any hosting payments since then.
 +
 
 +
Royalty payments were added to the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation, and $125 was spent to file articles of incorporation for an independent nonprofit registered in the state Pennsylvania. Those papers were accepted, so we’re getting an EIN and applying for a 501(c)(3) federal tax exemption.
 +
 
 +
$358 in cash donations were added to the laser maintenance fund.
 +
 
 +
The Elevator Repair Fund was created and seeded with $200 by consensus. Some call button light replacements were ordered with a matching grant from the Equipment Fund.
 +
 
 +
The Accessibility Fund was created and seeded with $200 by a city requirement to spend an additional 20% of the cost of any new construction on accessibility improvements. These funds will be allocated by recommendation of the accessibility working group (TBD), which will prioritize the voices of people who are most affected by accessibility problems with the space.
 +
 
 +
The Roguelike Celebration has spent $2,062.50 on socks and $531 on metal pins. This event used to be hosted at Noisebridge and still raises money through Noisebridge’s financial infrastructure in exchange for a big donation. We will need to account for all roguelike income and expenses at some point; right now it’s all clumped into the general fund.
 +
 
 +
We have a $1,737 payment to Jakprints on October 26, possibly for stickers and t-shirts, but maybe for the Roguelike Celebration. I think this is our usual printer for t-shirts. @patrickod or @maltman23 may be able to confirm if these printing costs are for Noisebridge (general fund) or the Roguelike Celebration (which will be accounted for separately).
 +
 
 +
One caveat about the numbers in this report: It’s possible that Noisetor revenue since October 9 is missing, and their regularly scheduled hosting payment didn’t go through. If some revenue is reallocated to Noisetor, that would decrease the general fund total and increase the Noisetor total, without changing our overall bank balance. When their hosting payment goes through, that will decrease the Noisetor total and our overall bank balance by $1,547.
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - October 05, 2017'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $83,299.38 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$45,058.43 in the general fund, which is about 7-1/2 months of critical expenses.
 +
$26,822.04 for Noisetor
 +
$5,830.12 in the equipment fund
 +
$3,037.48 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation
 +
$1,412.96 in the broadcast fund
 +
$763.35 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
$XXX in the Roguelike Celebration fund (placeholder—all roguelike moneys treated as general fund until we reconcile numbers)
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
“Critical expenses” include rent, utilities, Internet, trash collection, insurance, accounting fees, legal fees, bank fees, and state business registration fees, but does not include drink purchases, t-shirt or sticker printing, or payments for repairs and consumables. Critical expenses add up to around $6,000 per month.
 +
 
 +
This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since October 2 and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship, as well as their most recent payment for hosting.
 +
 
 +
$439.53 in book royalties were added to the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation.
 +
 
 +
Some equipment fund money got spent on guitars, audio mixing rack infrastructure, and PS4 controller.
 +
 
 +
Eventbrite is starting to send us money for the next Roguelike Celebration, which we’re fiscally sponsoring again this year. They’ll be making a 5% donation of their revenue to Noisebridge’s general fund, which they estimate will be around $500, but that may be higher or lower. If they have a surplus when it’s all said and done, we’ll keep it in the bank as the “Roguelike Celebration fund,” for use at the next event. All of the expenses and revenue will be forwarded to treasurer@noisebridge.net for me to crunch the numbers. Until I actually crunch those numbers, though, I’m going to just treat all suspected Roguelike revenue (like mysterious Eventbrite deposits) as “general fund” for the purposes of these financial reports.
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - October 02, 2017'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $83,145.56 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$43,725.28 in the general fund, which is about nearly 9 months of regular expenses.
 +
$28,348.54 for Noisetor
 +
$5,922.48 in the equipment fund
 +
$2,597.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation
 +
$1,412.96 in the broadcast fund
 +
$763.35 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since September 19th and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship. $288 was added to the laser maintenance fund from the laser maintenance cash donation box.
 +
 
 +
By my accounting, we have 37 dues-paying members and philanthropists kicking in $2,331.80 each month. It’s possible more people are paying dues in cash, which is harder to trace. I’m following up individually with some people. We have only 14 members who I know to be current on their dues, 2 members on hiatus, and 13 members who may or may not be paying dues or on hiatus but aren’t paying dues with the email address I have on file. We have 23 philanthropists I know to be currently paying dues.
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - September 28, 2017'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $81,642.30 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$42,552 in the general fund, which is about 8-1/2 months of regular expenses.
 +
$28,305.79 for Noisetor
 +
$5,922.48 in the equipment fund
 +
$2,597.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation
 +
$1,412.96 in the broadcast fund
 +
$475.35 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since September 19th and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship.
 +
 
 +
We recently spent $379.74 from the equipment fund and $379.73 from the project-specific donations to the general fund to purchase a MakerBot Ultimate 3D Printer. There is currently a fundraiser for a Prusa I3.
 +
 
 +
We just paid our rent for October, so our new post-rent baseline is $42,552. Our previous baseline (September 1st) was $40,054.28, which means that the general fund grew by nearly $2,000 this month.
 +
 
 +
That gain is even more impressive considering we took a dip of $2,500 to buy all of that Club Mate near the beginning of the month and still have about 2/5 of it left.
 +
 
 +
The expected return on the remaining Club Mate is about $1,200-$1,300.
 +
 
 +
So if we count our chickens before they hatch, our general fund grew by $3,200 - $3,300 this month.
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - September 19, 2017'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $84,761.46 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$45,343.19 in the general fund, which is just over nine months of regular expenses.
 +
$28,220.29 for Noisetor
 +
$6,336.72 in the equipment fund
 +
$2,597.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation
 +
$1,412.96 in the broadcast fund
 +
$475.35 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since September 16th and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship.
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - September 16, 2017 - Including Breakdown of #NB10!'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $84,486.38 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$45,115.61 in the general fund, which is just over nine months of regular expenses.
 +
$28,172.79 for Noisetor
 +
$6,336.72 in the equipment fund
 +
$2,597.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund
 +
$1,412.96 in the broadcast fund
 +
$475.35 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since September 12th and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship. It also takes into account new royalty payments to Thomas’ foundation.
 +
 
 +
We got another big deposit ($1,037.53) into our checking account from Eventbrite. We don’t know why they keep giving us money, but it’s great!
 +
 
 +
We spent $587.04 from the broadcast fund for A/V, staging, and lighting equipment for the Noisebridge 10th Anniversary Exhibition & Ball (#NB10). Each of the five performers for #NB10 were paid $200 from door and drinks donations, for a total of $1,000. We made several reimbursements from the equipment fund as well related to #NB10. Drinks and other remaining expenses were paid for out of the general fund. The event was extremely net revenue positive for the space.
 +
 
 +
Miscellaneous #NB10 expenses are described here: https://noisebridge.net/wiki/NB10-Misc-Expenses-Tally
 +
 
 +
Reimbursed drink expenses were $929.96, mostly reflected in totals from previous financial reports. Total expenses from the event add up to $3,639.24, not counting Club Mate consumed. The bartenders estimated 5 boxes, or 100 bottles, of Club Mate were consumed, previously purchased with general fund money at an estimated total cost of $315. $587.04 of that came from the broadcast fund. $638.01 of that came from the equipment fund. $2,729.19 came from the general fund, inclusive of the estimated cost of Club Mate consumed.
 +
 
 +
Our total revenue over the long weekend was $4,988.60. Subtracting expenses that were reimbursed from the general fund, the general fund increased by $2,259.41 over the weekend. Subtracting all expenses, our overall total accounts increased by $1,034.36. But spending money from the equipment fund and broadcast fund is a good thing! That money is meant to be spent.
 +
 
 +
(Note: Because this takes into account the estimated cost of Club Mate consumed, technically our cash accounts increased by $1,359.36, and the cash in our general fund increased by $2,574.41. But I think the cost of Club Mate should be included in the accounting for the event, the same way we deducted the cost of purchasing alcohol. The fact that Club Mate was pre-purchased in bulk is immaterial for our purposes of analyzing the event.)
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - September 12, 2017'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $84,486.38 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$42,965.56 in the general fund, which is just under 9 months of regular expenses.
 +
$28,172.79 for Noisetor
 +
$6,974.73 in the equipment fund
 +
$2,522.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation
 +
$2,000 in the broadcast fund
 +
$1,000 to reimburse performers at #NB10
 +
$475.35 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since September 6th, their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship, their subscription payment for their second hosting set-up, and a bunch of little one-off purchases and fees.
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - September 6, 2017'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $79,618.40 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$38,601.54 in the general fund, which is under 8 months of regular expenses.
 +
$28,668.83 for Noisetor
 +
$6,974.73 in the equipment fund
 +
$2,522.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund
 +
$2,000 in the broadcast fund
 +
$475.35 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
The general fund is below its typical level because of thousands of dollars of reimbursements for Club Mate, alcohol, and t-shirts for the Noisebridge 10th Anniversary Exhibition & Ball. Expect that to flood back in over the weekend.
 +
 
 +
This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since September 1st, their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship, and their recent $841.20 purchase of a server. It also includes several reimbursements for items available for donation during NB10:
 +
 
 +
$404.16 to Ruth for the purchase of Bulleit and beer
 +
$460.80 to Jarrod for the purchase of custom t-shirts
 +
 
 +
This total does not separate out project-specific donations for the new 3D printer, but those donations are being recorded appropriately by donate.noisebridge.net. When the project hits the magic number, we will direct money from the general fund and a matching grant from the equipment fund to purchase the new 3D printer.
 +
'''
 +
Financial Report - September 1, 2017'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $81,810.10 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$40,054.28 in the general fund, which is just over 8 months of regular expenses.
 +
$29,457.78 for Noisetor
 +
$6,974.73 in the equipment fund
 +
$2,472.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund
 +
$2,000 in the broadcast fund
 +
$475.35 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since August 22nd, their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship, and their most recent payment for hosting. We have paid our rent for September.
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - August 22, 2017'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $84,809.04 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$41,598.87 in the general fund, which is over 8 months of regular expenses.
 +
$30,946.28 for Noisetor
 +
$6,974.73 in the equipment fund
 +
$2,438.81 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund
 +
$2,000 in the broadcast fund
 +
$475.35 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since August 17th and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship.
 +
 
 +
Today we reimbursed Mitch $2,500 for the purchase of a pallet of Club Mate for the space, which will be available to everyone at the regular $4/bottle donation rate. The expected delta between donation revenue and cost of purchase is around $700 for the pallet. We also reimbursed Lady Red $53 from the equipment fund for the purchase of a dress form for the sewing area.
 +
 
 +
We recently got a $1,956.49 deposit in our checking account from Eventbrite, and your treasurer does not know why. If anyone knows why, let him know for the record.
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - August 17, 2017'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $86,771.69 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$43,903 in the general fund, which is nearly 9 months of regular expenses.
 +
$30,884.53 for Noisetor
 +
$7,027.73 in the equipment fund
 +
$2,438.81 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund
 +
$2,000 in the broadcast fund
 +
$142.62 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
 
 +
Notes:
 +
 
 +
This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since August 8th and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship.
 +
 
 +
Today we reimbursed the laser working group $1,205.67 from the laser maintenance fund for purchases of wood and cardboard.
 +
 
 +
'''Financial Report - August 8, 2017'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $84,008.11 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$40,633.25 in the general fund, which is just over 8 months of regular expenses.
 +
$30,761.03 for Noisetor
 +
$7,027.73 in the equipment fund
 +
$2,093.81 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund
 +
$2,000 in the broadcast fund
 +
$1,117.29 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
 
 +
Note: This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since August 3rd and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship.
 +
 
 +
'''*August 3, 2017*'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $83,545.47 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$40,220.01 in the general fund, which is just over 8 months of regular expenses.
 +
$30,711.63 for Noisetor
 +
$7,027.73 in the equipment fund
 +
$2,093.81 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund
 +
$2,000 in the broadcast fund
 +
$1,117.29 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
 
 +
Note: This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since July 28, 2017, their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship, and their most recent payment for hosting.
 +
 
 +
The running total for Noisetor is not official and for general reference purposes only. The official total will be calculated manually at least once every two months until we have a more automated process.
 +
 
 +
'''*August 2, 2017*'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $84,585.91 in the bank.
 +
 
 +
_Breakdown:_
 +
$39,738.70 in the general fund, which is just shy of 8 months of regular expenses.
 +
$32,233.38 for Noisetor
 +
$7,027.73 in the equipment fund
 +
$2,093.81 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund
 +
$2,000 in the broadcast fund
 +
$1,117.29 in the laser maintenance fund
 +
$375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits
 +
 
 +
'''*July 31, 2017*'''
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has $83,933.09 in the bank. Here’s the breakdown of that money: $32,233.38 for Noisetor, $1,117.29 in the laser maintenance fund, $2,093.81 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund, $7,139 for the equipment fund, $2,000 for the broadcast fund, $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits, leaving around $38,974.61 for the general fund, which is nearly 8 months of regular expenses. August rent was paid.
 +
 
 +
=== Bookkeeping ===
 +
 
 +
It's important for Noisebridge to keep accurate financial records, and report them publicly and regularly, to give confidence to donors. It's also important to reimburse community members from the appropriate fund as soon as possible when they make a valid reimbursement request, ideally within 3 days.
 +
 
 +
Cash collected from the space for deposit in the bank should be counted, photographed, and reported in #finance-wg on Slack, for transparency and logging. You should identify the source of the cash (which cash box?) and where the cash is going. If the cash is going to an earmarked fund, rather than the general fund, record that in your running financial totals immediately. Don't count cash, do reimbursements, or make any other financial transfer if you don't have enough time to update your running totals. You are bound to forget, and it's too much mental burden to try to remember every little detail. Write it down, then forget.
 +
 
 +
Learn double entry bookkeeping. Use whatever system makes the most sense for you. Maybe that's a spreadsheet, or maybe it's a .txt file. Keep it simple. It's for your own purposes of creating financial reports to post to this wiki page. It doesn't need to be a complicated SaaS solution, unless you have a specific purpose in mind for that software, and are willing to put the extra time in to make the solution work.
 +
 
 +
Noisebridge has a wide variety of income sources and expenses. It might be easier to use .txt files than a pre-built SaaS solution. The author of this piece (John) used .txt files almost exclusively, because it was easier.
 +
 
 +
If someone wants to donate money for a specific, earmarked fund, create that fund without question. The treasurer is the executor of Noisebridge funds, not the decider of which funds should exist.
 +
 
 +
The general fund pays for rent, utilities, regulatory fees (like tax filing fees, permit fees, etc.), revenue-generating items like t-shirts, stickers, snacks, and drinks, and critical sanitary consumables like cleaning supplies, toilet paper, paper towels, and tampons. Guard the general fund with your life. Don't worry if it seems to be piling up money. It is Noisebridge's cushion against major financial shocks.
 +
 
 +
If the general fund dips below 10 months of regular expenses, be worried. If it dips below 4 months of regular expenses, panic.
 +
 
 +
{{ManualPage}}

Latest revision as of 21:22, 10 July 2018

Noisebridge needs money to run. Quite a lot, actually. Its about $11,649.30/mo.

Click here for info on how to pay your Membership Dues.

Monthly Expenses and Dues

Typical monthly amount Expense category Notes
$6,500.00 Rent Up from $3960 several years ago, and our current lease runs out next year
$1,578.16 Tor Project Self-supporting but income is counted in our totals
$700 Club Mate Purchased in bulk and made available for donation in the space, self-supporting
$900 Other snacks and drinks Purchased in bulk and made available for donation in the space, self-supporting
$550 PG&E Electric Utility Watch our power usage in real time here: https://grafana.noisebridge.net/d/MzEBCziik/power
$235.35 Accounting Mostly CPA fees for dealing with the state
$547.69 Garbage & Recycling Twice weekly pickup is more expensive
$189.29 Printing T-shirts and stickers
$183.48 Insurance An annual expense
$75 Internet Monkeybrains
$150 Water SFPUC
$40.33 Misc PO box, misc 2169 repair supplies, Adobe Acrobat subscription

Financial Reports

Financial Report - July 10, 2018

Noisebridge has $92,658.03 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_

$64,519.34 in the General Fund

$8,732.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)

$5,351.38 in the Equipment Fund

$3,271.28 in the Laser Maintenance Fund

$200 in the Accessibility Fund

$10,177.45 in the Elevator Repair Fund

$358.92 in the Sewing Fund

$47 in the Electronics Fund

0.1626 BTC in the HODL Fund


Notes:

We renewed our lease through August 2019!

Noisetor Note: noisetor.net/finances is still down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.

The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0


Financial Report - June 24, 2018

Noisebridge has $94,694.45 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_

$79,679.5 in the General Fund

$10,704.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)

$437.64 in the Equipment Fund

$3,094.28 in the Laser Maintenance Fund

$200 in the Accessibility Fund

$177.45 in the Elevator Repair Fund

$358.92 in the Sewing Fund

$42 in the Electronics Fund

0.1626 BTC in the HODL Fund


Notes:

The equipment fund is nearly exhausted, but there is a consensus proposal to refill it with $5,000 from the general fund. It was a huge success and should probably be refilled, in the treasurer's opinion. https://www.noisebridge.net/wiki/Equipment_fund

The snack program is gradually being automated.

We signed a lease renewal through August 2019, but are waiting on the landlord's signature. Our rent will go up to $6,500 per month, and we will be responsible for up to $10,000 in elevator repair costs per year, with cost-splitting with the landlord after that.

We paid Scandiuzzi Krebs $2,000 for delivery of the discovery document.


Financial Report - May 29, 2018

Noisebridge has $100,161.75 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_

$81,920.98 in the general fund

$12,278.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)

$2,432.14 in the equipment fund

$2,791.28 in the laser maintenance fund

$200 in the Accessibility Fund

$179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund

$358.92 in the Sewing Fund

0.1626 BTC in the HODL Fund

Notes:

The broadcast fund was exhausted. Great work everyone! It helped fund NGALAC, a new USB conference microphone, a new projector, coax cables, and A/V and lighting equipment for the 10th Anniversary Party which is still useful for other events.

We passed $100,000 in the bank, which is 1.4% of the way to our goal of $7,000,000. We also passed $80,000 in the general fund for the first time, not counting the HODL Fund, which belongs to the general fund but has wildly fluctuating prices that are not worth recording until we sell our crypto.

The fridge has snacks and drinks now. We seem to be getting enough in donations to cover costs, but not much extra for the general fund. Please donate when you take drinks and snacks from the fridge so that we can continue to keep Noisebridge stocked!

We've brought in $13,151.63 so far this month, so my estimate for the month as a whole is $13,500. This is $6,500 shy of our monthly goal of $20,000 per month.

Noisetor Note: noisetor.net/finances is still down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.

The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0


Financial Report - May 7, 2018

Noisebridge has $97,722.91 in the bank.

Breakdown:

$77,956 in the general fund

$12,826.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)

$3,075.07 in the equipment fund

$392.21 in the broadcast fund

$2,791.28 in the laser maintenance fund

$200 in the Accessibility Fund

$179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund

$301.92 in the Sewing Fund

Notes: Our regular recurring income looks like $12,700 per month, based on April. That's a big jump! We need to get to $20,000 to be sustainable.

We briefly passed $100,000 in the bank for the first time on April 25th, and again early in May. We dropped back down with spending on food, drinks, t-shirts, stickers, etc. Investments for the future!

I think we should hit $100 in profit per day from food and drinks alone. We'll see!

We paid our rent for May, and paid Scandiuzzi Krebs $2,000 for the first installment for their discovery document. They're professional fundraisers who will help us develop a strategy to get grants and more recurring donations.

We've begun purchasing snacks and drinks in bulk for the space, available for suggested donations. We want to buy another pallet of Club Mate soon. We put in an order for more stickers and t-shirts, which should hopefully arrive in time for Maker Faire.

Noisetor Note: noisetor.net/finances is still down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.

The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0


Financial Report - April 10, 2018

Noisebridge has $94,512.02 in the bank.

Breakdown:

$73,091.11 in the general fund

$14,798.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)

$3,075.07 in the equipment fund

$392.21 in the broadcast fund

$2,473.28 in the laser maintenance fund

$200 in the Accessibility Fund

$179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund

$301.92 in the Sewing Fund

Notes: The NGALAC payments have been taken out of the bank account now, which is reflected in the lower total since the 7th. Noisetor paid $1,547 for hosting yesterday.

Noisetor Note: noisetor.net/finances is still down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.

The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0

Financial Report - April 7, 2018

Noisebridge has $96,221.55 in the bank.

Breakdown: $73,226.64 in the general fund

$16,372.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE)

$3,075.07 in the equipment fund

$392.21 in the broadcast fund

$2,473.28 in the laser maintenance fund

$200 in the Accessibility Fund

$179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund

$301.92 in the Sewing Fund

Notes:

Noisetor Note: noisetor.net/finances is still down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.

The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0

Financial Report - March 28, 2018

Noisebridge has $88,534.41 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $64,986.18 in the general fund, which about the same as last month's benchmark, after correcting for the Club Mate purchase $15,872.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE) $3,825.70 in the equipment fund $764.82 in the broadcast fund $2,473.28 in the laser maintenance fund $200 in the Accessibility Fund $179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund $232 in the Sewing Fund

Notes:

We have paid our rent for April. We spent $1,965.79 on a pallet of Club Mate, which should make back a significant profit over time.

Noisetor Note: noisetor.net/finances is still down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.

The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0


Financial Report - February 28, 2018

Noisebridge has $90,445.97 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $66,835.74 in the general fund, which is over 10 months of critical expenses. (SEE NOISETOR NOTE) $16,270.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE) $3,825.70 in the equipment fund $764.82 in the broadcast fund $2,137.28 in the laser maintenance fund $200 in the Accessibility Fund $179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund $232 in the Sewing Fund

Notes:

We have paid our rent for March.

The Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation has been registered as an independent nonprofit in Pennsylvania and obtained independent 501(c)(3) nonprofit status. Now that its status is confirmed and it has an independent checking account, I have transferred its funds from Noisebridge to the new organization. I confirmed the deposit is complete, so it will no longer be in the financial reports. Our first grant will be a small competitive scholarship given to a senior graduating from Thomas’ high school this spring with an interest in creative writing.

Circuit Hacking Mondays has also been removed from the financial reports since the reimbursements have been made. I'm no longer tracking the Roguelike Celebration as a placeholder since I don't believe there is any more action there. Everything is rolled into the general fund.

Looks like noisetor.net/finances is down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.

The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0


Financial Report - January 12, 2018

Noisebridge has $86,379.08 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $43,957.03 in the general fund, which is over 7 months of critical expenses. (SEE NOISETOR NOTE) $20,364.66 for Noisetor (SEE NOISETOR NOTE) $4,498.74 in the equipment fund $3,021.64 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation $1,412.96 in the broadcast fund $2,137.28 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits $200 in the Accessibility Fund $179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund $232 in the Sewing Fund $XXX in the Roguelike Celebration fund (placeholder—all roguelike moneys treated as general fund until we reconcile numbers)

Notes:

The Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation has been registered as an independent nonprofit in Pennsylvania and obtained independent 501(c)(3) nonprofit status. Now that its status is confirmed and it has an independent checking account, I will be transferring its funds from Noisebridge to the new organization. Our first grant will be a small competitive scholarship given to a senior graduating from Thomas’ high school this spring with an interest in creative writing.

@patrickod looks like noisetor.net/finances is down, so I can’t calculate Noisetor’s recent revenue, only expenses. The total in this report is therefore lower than the real total. The most recent Noisetor donation I have recorded in my notes is from October 9, 2017, so any donations past that date have not been included in my calculations here.

The sewing fund was seeded by a donation from Vice for shooting a documentary interview in our space. It’s always existed, but is being tracked in the financial report for the first time after a reminder from the sewing crew.

What’s up with the Roguelike Celebration? I haven’t heard from anyone involved in that for quite some time.

The laser maintenance fund revenue and expenses are being tracked here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1c3LHJ4RYClrEC-8m4VBMEjJU_KorokSuVbW3CiaB84A/edit#gid=0

Financial Report - November 08, 2017

Noisebridge has $80,315.65 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $42,364.28 in the general fund, which is just over 7 months of critical expenses. $26,092.66 for Noisetor $5,622.15 in the equipment fund $2,947.48 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation $1,412.96 in the broadcast fund $1121.35 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits $200 in the Accessibility Fund $179.77 in the Elevator Repair Fund $XXX in the Roguelike Celebration fund (placeholder—all roguelike moneys treated as general fund until we reconcile numbers)

Notes:

We’ve paid our rent for November. Our lease is up at the end of August 2018, and not getting renewed. We probably need to raise a bunch of money to move somewhere else.

Some major general fund purchases: We paid to renew our PO box ($490) and our board directors insurance ($1,009). We also paid a $50 fine to the state of California for some paperwork snafu.

This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since October 5 and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship, as well as any hosting payments since then.

Royalty payments were added to the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation, and $125 was spent to file articles of incorporation for an independent nonprofit registered in the state Pennsylvania. Those papers were accepted, so we’re getting an EIN and applying for a 501(c)(3) federal tax exemption.

$358 in cash donations were added to the laser maintenance fund.

The Elevator Repair Fund was created and seeded with $200 by consensus. Some call button light replacements were ordered with a matching grant from the Equipment Fund.

The Accessibility Fund was created and seeded with $200 by a city requirement to spend an additional 20% of the cost of any new construction on accessibility improvements. These funds will be allocated by recommendation of the accessibility working group (TBD), which will prioritize the voices of people who are most affected by accessibility problems with the space.

The Roguelike Celebration has spent $2,062.50 on socks and $531 on metal pins. This event used to be hosted at Noisebridge and still raises money through Noisebridge’s financial infrastructure in exchange for a big donation. We will need to account for all roguelike income and expenses at some point; right now it’s all clumped into the general fund.

We have a $1,737 payment to Jakprints on October 26, possibly for stickers and t-shirts, but maybe for the Roguelike Celebration. I think this is our usual printer for t-shirts. @patrickod or @maltman23 may be able to confirm if these printing costs are for Noisebridge (general fund) or the Roguelike Celebration (which will be accounted for separately).

One caveat about the numbers in this report: It’s possible that Noisetor revenue since October 9 is missing, and their regularly scheduled hosting payment didn’t go through. If some revenue is reallocated to Noisetor, that would decrease the general fund total and increase the Noisetor total, without changing our overall bank balance. When their hosting payment goes through, that will decrease the Noisetor total and our overall bank balance by $1,547.

Financial Report - October 05, 2017

Noisebridge has $83,299.38 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $45,058.43 in the general fund, which is about 7-1/2 months of critical expenses. $26,822.04 for Noisetor $5,830.12 in the equipment fund $3,037.48 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation $1,412.96 in the broadcast fund $763.35 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits $XXX in the Roguelike Celebration fund (placeholder—all roguelike moneys treated as general fund until we reconcile numbers)

Notes:

“Critical expenses” include rent, utilities, Internet, trash collection, insurance, accounting fees, legal fees, bank fees, and state business registration fees, but does not include drink purchases, t-shirt or sticker printing, or payments for repairs and consumables. Critical expenses add up to around $6,000 per month.

This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since October 2 and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship, as well as their most recent payment for hosting.

$439.53 in book royalties were added to the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation.

Some equipment fund money got spent on guitars, audio mixing rack infrastructure, and PS4 controller.

Eventbrite is starting to send us money for the next Roguelike Celebration, which we’re fiscally sponsoring again this year. They’ll be making a 5% donation of their revenue to Noisebridge’s general fund, which they estimate will be around $500, but that may be higher or lower. If they have a surplus when it’s all said and done, we’ll keep it in the bank as the “Roguelike Celebration fund,” for use at the next event. All of the expenses and revenue will be forwarded to treasurer@noisebridge.net for me to crunch the numbers. Until I actually crunch those numbers, though, I’m going to just treat all suspected Roguelike revenue (like mysterious Eventbrite deposits) as “general fund” for the purposes of these financial reports.

Financial Report - October 02, 2017

Noisebridge has $83,145.56 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $43,725.28 in the general fund, which is about nearly 9 months of regular expenses. $28,348.54 for Noisetor $5,922.48 in the equipment fund $2,597.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation $1,412.96 in the broadcast fund $763.35 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits

Notes:

This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since September 19th and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship. $288 was added to the laser maintenance fund from the laser maintenance cash donation box.

By my accounting, we have 37 dues-paying members and philanthropists kicking in $2,331.80 each month. It’s possible more people are paying dues in cash, which is harder to trace. I’m following up individually with some people. We have only 14 members who I know to be current on their dues, 2 members on hiatus, and 13 members who may or may not be paying dues or on hiatus but aren’t paying dues with the email address I have on file. We have 23 philanthropists I know to be currently paying dues.

Financial Report - September 28, 2017

Noisebridge has $81,642.30 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $42,552 in the general fund, which is about 8-1/2 months of regular expenses. $28,305.79 for Noisetor $5,922.48 in the equipment fund $2,597.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation $1,412.96 in the broadcast fund $475.35 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits

Notes:

This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since September 19th and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship.

We recently spent $379.74 from the equipment fund and $379.73 from the project-specific donations to the general fund to purchase a MakerBot Ultimate 3D Printer. There is currently a fundraiser for a Prusa I3.

We just paid our rent for October, so our new post-rent baseline is $42,552. Our previous baseline (September 1st) was $40,054.28, which means that the general fund grew by nearly $2,000 this month.

That gain is even more impressive considering we took a dip of $2,500 to buy all of that Club Mate near the beginning of the month and still have about 2/5 of it left.

The expected return on the remaining Club Mate is about $1,200-$1,300.

So if we count our chickens before they hatch, our general fund grew by $3,200 - $3,300 this month.

Financial Report - September 19, 2017

Noisebridge has $84,761.46 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $45,343.19 in the general fund, which is just over nine months of regular expenses. $28,220.29 for Noisetor $6,336.72 in the equipment fund $2,597.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation $1,412.96 in the broadcast fund $475.35 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits

Notes:

This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since September 16th and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship.

Financial Report - September 16, 2017 - Including Breakdown of #NB10!

Noisebridge has $84,486.38 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $45,115.61 in the general fund, which is just over nine months of regular expenses. $28,172.79 for Noisetor $6,336.72 in the equipment fund $2,597.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund $1,412.96 in the broadcast fund $475.35 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits

Notes:

This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since September 12th and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship. It also takes into account new royalty payments to Thomas’ foundation.

We got another big deposit ($1,037.53) into our checking account from Eventbrite. We don’t know why they keep giving us money, but it’s great!

We spent $587.04 from the broadcast fund for A/V, staging, and lighting equipment for the Noisebridge 10th Anniversary Exhibition & Ball (#NB10). Each of the five performers for #NB10 were paid $200 from door and drinks donations, for a total of $1,000. We made several reimbursements from the equipment fund as well related to #NB10. Drinks and other remaining expenses were paid for out of the general fund. The event was extremely net revenue positive for the space.

Miscellaneous #NB10 expenses are described here: https://noisebridge.net/wiki/NB10-Misc-Expenses-Tally

Reimbursed drink expenses were $929.96, mostly reflected in totals from previous financial reports. Total expenses from the event add up to $3,639.24, not counting Club Mate consumed. The bartenders estimated 5 boxes, or 100 bottles, of Club Mate were consumed, previously purchased with general fund money at an estimated total cost of $315. $587.04 of that came from the broadcast fund. $638.01 of that came from the equipment fund. $2,729.19 came from the general fund, inclusive of the estimated cost of Club Mate consumed.

Our total revenue over the long weekend was $4,988.60. Subtracting expenses that were reimbursed from the general fund, the general fund increased by $2,259.41 over the weekend. Subtracting all expenses, our overall total accounts increased by $1,034.36. But spending money from the equipment fund and broadcast fund is a good thing! That money is meant to be spent.

(Note: Because this takes into account the estimated cost of Club Mate consumed, technically our cash accounts increased by $1,359.36, and the cash in our general fund increased by $2,574.41. But I think the cost of Club Mate should be included in the accounting for the event, the same way we deducted the cost of purchasing alcohol. The fact that Club Mate was pre-purchased in bulk is immaterial for our purposes of analyzing the event.)

Financial Report - September 12, 2017

Noisebridge has $84,486.38 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $42,965.56 in the general fund, which is just under 9 months of regular expenses. $28,172.79 for Noisetor $6,974.73 in the equipment fund $2,522.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Foundation $2,000 in the broadcast fund $1,000 to reimburse performers at #NB10 $475.35 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits

Notes:

This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since September 6th, their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship, their subscription payment for their second hosting set-up, and a bunch of little one-off purchases and fees.

Financial Report - September 6, 2017

Noisebridge has $79,618.40 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $38,601.54 in the general fund, which is under 8 months of regular expenses. $28,668.83 for Noisetor $6,974.73 in the equipment fund $2,522.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund $2,000 in the broadcast fund $475.35 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits

Notes:

The general fund is below its typical level because of thousands of dollars of reimbursements for Club Mate, alcohol, and t-shirts for the Noisebridge 10th Anniversary Exhibition & Ball. Expect that to flood back in over the weekend.

This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since September 1st, their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship, and their recent $841.20 purchase of a server. It also includes several reimbursements for items available for donation during NB10:

$404.16 to Ruth for the purchase of Bulleit and beer $460.80 to Jarrod for the purchase of custom t-shirts

This total does not separate out project-specific donations for the new 3D printer, but those donations are being recorded appropriately by donate.noisebridge.net. When the project hits the magic number, we will direct money from the general fund and a matching grant from the equipment fund to purchase the new 3D printer. Financial Report - September 1, 2017

Noisebridge has $81,810.10 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $40,054.28 in the general fund, which is just over 8 months of regular expenses. $29,457.78 for Noisetor $6,974.73 in the equipment fund $2,472.95 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund $2,000 in the broadcast fund $475.35 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits

Notes:

This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since August 22nd, their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship, and their most recent payment for hosting. We have paid our rent for September.

Financial Report - August 22, 2017

Noisebridge has $84,809.04 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $41,598.87 in the general fund, which is over 8 months of regular expenses. $30,946.28 for Noisetor $6,974.73 in the equipment fund $2,438.81 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund $2,000 in the broadcast fund $475.35 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits

Notes:

This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since August 17th and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship.

Today we reimbursed Mitch $2,500 for the purchase of a pallet of Club Mate for the space, which will be available to everyone at the regular $4/bottle donation rate. The expected delta between donation revenue and cost of purchase is around $700 for the pallet. We also reimbursed Lady Red $53 from the equipment fund for the purchase of a dress form for the sewing area.

We recently got a $1,956.49 deposit in our checking account from Eventbrite, and your treasurer does not know why. If anyone knows why, let him know for the record.

Financial Report - August 17, 2017

Noisebridge has $86,771.69 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $43,903 in the general fund, which is nearly 9 months of regular expenses. $30,884.53 for Noisetor $7,027.73 in the equipment fund $2,438.81 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund $2,000 in the broadcast fund $142.62 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits

Notes:

This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since August 8th and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship.

Today we reimbursed the laser working group $1,205.67 from the laser maintenance fund for purchases of wood and cardboard.

Financial Report - August 8, 2017

Noisebridge has $84,008.11 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $40,633.25 in the general fund, which is just over 8 months of regular expenses. $30,761.03 for Noisetor $7,027.73 in the equipment fund $2,093.81 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund $2,000 in the broadcast fund $1,117.29 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits

Note: This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since August 3rd and their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship.

*August 3, 2017*

Noisebridge has $83,545.47 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $40,220.01 in the general fund, which is just over 8 months of regular expenses. $30,711.63 for Noisetor $7,027.73 in the equipment fund $2,093.81 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund $2,000 in the broadcast fund $1,117.29 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits

Note: This running total takes into account Noisetor’s donations since July 28, 2017, their 5% contribution to the general fund for fiscal sponsorship, and their most recent payment for hosting.

The running total for Noisetor is not official and for general reference purposes only. The official total will be calculated manually at least once every two months until we have a more automated process.

*August 2, 2017*

Noisebridge has $84,585.91 in the bank.

_Breakdown:_ $39,738.70 in the general fund, which is just shy of 8 months of regular expenses. $32,233.38 for Noisetor $7,027.73 in the equipment fund $2,093.81 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund $2,000 in the broadcast fund $1,117.29 in the laser maintenance fund $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits

*July 31, 2017*

Noisebridge has $83,933.09 in the bank. Here’s the breakdown of that money: $32,233.38 for Noisetor, $1,117.29 in the laser maintenance fund, $2,093.81 in the Thomas J. Shutt Memorial Fund, $7,139 for the equipment fund, $2,000 for the broadcast fund, $375 from Friends of the Public Library to reimburse Circuit Hacking Mondays for kits, leaving around $38,974.61 for the general fund, which is nearly 8 months of regular expenses. August rent was paid.

Bookkeeping

It's important for Noisebridge to keep accurate financial records, and report them publicly and regularly, to give confidence to donors. It's also important to reimburse community members from the appropriate fund as soon as possible when they make a valid reimbursement request, ideally within 3 days.

Cash collected from the space for deposit in the bank should be counted, photographed, and reported in #finance-wg on Slack, for transparency and logging. You should identify the source of the cash (which cash box?) and where the cash is going. If the cash is going to an earmarked fund, rather than the general fund, record that in your running financial totals immediately. Don't count cash, do reimbursements, or make any other financial transfer if you don't have enough time to update your running totals. You are bound to forget, and it's too much mental burden to try to remember every little detail. Write it down, then forget.

Learn double entry bookkeeping. Use whatever system makes the most sense for you. Maybe that's a spreadsheet, or maybe it's a .txt file. Keep it simple. It's for your own purposes of creating financial reports to post to this wiki page. It doesn't need to be a complicated SaaS solution, unless you have a specific purpose in mind for that software, and are willing to put the extra time in to make the solution work.

Noisebridge has a wide variety of income sources and expenses. It might be easier to use .txt files than a pre-built SaaS solution. The author of this piece (John) used .txt files almost exclusively, because it was easier.

If someone wants to donate money for a specific, earmarked fund, create that fund without question. The treasurer is the executor of Noisebridge funds, not the decider of which funds should exist.

The general fund pays for rent, utilities, regulatory fees (like tax filing fees, permit fees, etc.), revenue-generating items like t-shirts, stickers, snacks, and drinks, and critical sanitary consumables like cleaning supplies, toilet paper, paper towels, and tampons. Guard the general fund with your life. Don't worry if it seems to be piling up money. It is Noisebridge's cushion against major financial shocks.

If the general fund dips below 10 months of regular expenses, be worried. If it dips below 4 months of regular expenses, panic.


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