Five Minutes of Fame

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Chris, listening intently outside the door, cupped his hands as best he could around the hot eighteen inches of his massive girth. He pumped his tree-trunk of a cock with long, firm strokes, squeezing from the base of his thirty inch long monster to the fat, broad head of his dick. Unh! Tasha and Kimber are gonna get sooo big! He licked his lips hungrily at the thought. They’re gonna get so big that Jen will just have to use some of the cream. She won’t be able to stand being the smallest. Chris’s powerful strokes pushed his heavy, hot prick into the air on each downstroke, and pulled the colossal shaft close to his face with each upstroke. He licked his lips again, salivating at the thought. Then Jen will be gigantic. Her boobs are gonna be so big! Chris leaned forward just a bit and lightly licked his own cockhead, sending a tingle down his huge shaft all the way to his weighty balls. Won’t that be great? My girlfriend with giant breasts? Maybe Tasha and Kimber will be jealous…He began to lick at his cockhead more intently, stroking himself more vigorously. Tasha had finally finished rubbing in the cream to Kimber’s satisfaction, and Kimber had donned another pair of gloves and was holding a generous dollop of cream in her palm. “Tasha, are you sure about this? I mean, it’s not like you can decide to go back to being smaller. Maybe we should wait and see how it works.” She winced. “Works other than making my boobs hurt, I mean.” “Kimber!”, said Tasha in a firm, commanding voice. “Growth cream on the boobs, now.” She flicked her thumb at her pert breasts. “There’s no way two doses is gonna be too much. Have you seen how big some porn stars’s breasts are?” “Ewww,” Kimber grimaced, making a face. “You want to have nasty things like that?” She hesitated. Tasha grabbed Kimber’s wrists and pulled them towards her breasts. “Of course not. But that’s what’s awesome about the cream. No scars, no stretch marks, no weird shapes.” Kimber nodded and began applying the cream carefully. Tasha smiled. “If I’d wanted to have big, weird looking boobs, I could have gotten a crappy boob job already. This way, they get to be big, but perfect.” She supervised Kimber’s application approvingly. “If guys will pay to see some nasty looking chick with swollen chesticles, they will definitely pay to see me with a big rack.” She smiled. “Or you.” “Tasha!” Kimber looked up at her roommate accusingly. “What makes you think I would do that? You’re the one who can’t resist filming yourself, not me.” She continued to massage Tasha’s breasts carefully. “Stop distracting me when I’m doing this or you’ll make me screw up.” “I’m just sayin’, now that you’ve used the cream, you’re gonna be packing some big breasts, Kimber. You aren’t gonna be able to hide them, so you might as well show them off.” “Whatever.” Kimber rolled her eyes, and carefully peeled off her gloves. “Are you getting really hungry?” “I’m starving. It always takes Jen forever to get home with the pizza after work—“ Tasha smacked herself on the forehead. “Food! We gotta eat food!” She pulled her shirt back down over her newly oiled breasts. “Our boobs gotta have the food to grow! How could we forget that with Chris over here hoovering up all the food in the place?” Jen struggled to unlock the door to the apartment. Both her hands were full with the mammoth stack of extra-large, extra-toppings pizzas she was carrying. She was leaning forward, bracing the stack of boxes between her chest and the door, while she fumbled with her keys. The boxes of pizzas were piled up to her chin, forcing her to look upwards, rather than down at the door. I know I should have made two trips, she thought. Normally, she brought a pizza or two home for her roomies, both to enjoy that night, and to have as leftovers the next morning, but with Chris around, too much food was suddenly turning into ‘not enough’. I hope he doesn’t gulp all of this down tonight. I’m exhausted. I’d like to sleep in, rather than running out in the morning to grab more food for my boyfriend’s bottomless nutsack. Jen got a little excited just thinking about Chris’s titanic endowments. The key turned in the lock, and Jen wriggled the door open. Chris was luxuriating in the sensations of his massive wang. He had laid down full length on the floor, content to imagine rather than listen to Tasha and Kimber any further. He was steadily pumping his thick snake, bucking his hips with every stroke. Though his hands couldn’t even wrap entirely around the fat girth of his cock, Chris was giving his dick his full attention. Unh! Feels so good! He pulled his broad cockhead down to his face and slurped at it with his tongue. I’ve been needing this for hours! Well, at least an hour, I think. Chris licked his huge cock slit hungrily. I just need to suck myself off a few times before Jen gets home and I’ll be fine. He wrangled his dick back into a vertical position and admired it while he continued to jerk off. Look at that cock! Who wouldn’t be proud of that? Chris smiled broadly as he pumped his dick more. “What the hell is going on?” Jen stumbled into her apartment, almost dropping her tottering stack of pizzas. Chris was laying spread-eagled naked in the hallway, stroking his gargantuan cock, as his bloated balls spread out between his legs. “Uhhhh?” was all Chris ventured, and even that was uttered while he continued to jerk off his thirty inch long dick. Jen sidestepped into the living room and slammed the pizzas down on the coffee table, temper flaring. She was having trouble verbalizing her issues while looking at the massive slab of meat on display. “Jen’s home!” Tasha hooked her fingers into her shirt, and pulled it down over her glistening breasts. “Time for pizza!” She jinked around Kimber and flung open her door. “Hey!” cried Kimber, petulantly. She pulled her shirt down too, and whirled around to follow her roomate. “I —“ was all Jen said before a towering Tasha burst out of the door next to Chris and hooked her elbow around his wang, using it to to redirect her forward motion and slingshot her down the hallway. “Food now; fun later!” Tasha, clad only in T-shirt and panties, bounded, arms outstretched, towards the surprised Jen and lightly swept her to the left as she swung right into the living room. Following close behind Tasha was Kimber. She clasped Chris’s throbbing erection with one hand and demurely leaned it out of her way. “Excuse me!” Kimber fairly bounced down the hallway, stopping abruptly in front of Jen and helping her regain her balance. “Hi, Jen!” She then bolted to the right. “Chris is right back there. We’ll take care of the pizza.” Also clad only in t-shirt and panties, Kimber grabbed a pizza box and threw it open. “Don’t hog it all, Tasha!” She seized a slice and stuffed it into her mouth. “Sooo hungry,” she moaned around a mouthful of pizza. Though he seemed able to divert enough attention to watch two panty-clad bottoms bounce by him, Chris seemed to be still mostly focused on his own masturbation. He continued to stroke his massive anaconda, though he did lean it slightly to the left, so that it no longer blocked his view of Jen. Without breaking his rhythm, he pushed his enormous shaft towards her, as an offering. “Jen?”, he said, looking at her suggestively. “Get up!” Jen crossed the distance between her and the massively over-endowed young man in a few angry steps. She clutched his thick, hot shaft firmly between her hands and pulled. He’s sooooo big!!, Jen thought, surpressing the urge to squeal with delight. She dug her heels into the carpet and pulled harder. “Get up!” With effort, she succeeding in pulling Chris erect, using his erection. His massive nuts swung heavily between his legs. “Whaaaaa?” Chris said, dazedly. His hands, momentarily diverted from their task to help him get up, crept back to his throbbing, needy dick. They resumed their urgent stroking. Chris leaned back to keep his balance and began to pump his hips, causing his fat, swollen balls to sway more energetically between his legs. “Chris!” Jen lifted his huge log and stepped around it, like passing through a turnstile. As it neared his face, Chris eagerly opened his mouth and extended his tongue expectantly. “No!” Jen tugged his dick back down, and a disappointed look passed over his face. “Get into my room!” Chris had already returned to his steady pumping, and it took another two-handed tug on his swollen member to get him to move forward a few steps. After that, however, he leaned back and resumed his hip-swaying masturbation. “Chris! Argh!” Jen had to tug her boyfriend into the room by the meaty pole between his legs, timing her tugs with his own uninterrupted stroking. “Can’t you stop that for a minute?” “Not right now, no.” Once in the room, Chris seemed to notice where he was, at least. “I’ve been waiting soooo long.” He stepped toward Jen, aiming his elephantine dick at her face while he continued to stroke. He licked his lips. “You’ve been waiting sooo long too, Jen. Aren’t you hungry?” “Chris!” Jen grabbed his fat, throbbing meat and used it, two-handed, like a pole to push Chris back and down onto the bed. “Can’t you just wait!?!” She sighed and stepped past him to the doorway. “I have to speak to Kimber and Tasha. Just occupy yourself a minute until I get back.” She turned and closed the door behind her. As she did so, Chris leaned back on the bed and eagerly brought his massive cockhead up to his face. “Sure thing, Jen.”


3rd Thursday

January 2018 5MoF

10 Years of noisebridge

August 5MoF

July 5MoF

What is Five Minutes of Fame?

Five Minutes of Fame (5MoF) is ten five minute talks in an hour, with a short intermission so you can get another beer. Talks tend to be ad-hoc, poorly-planned, and awe-inspiring.

How do I sign up to give a talk?

Sign up to speak by following the link above, clicking "edit", and adding yourself to the list.

When and Where?

5MoF happens at Noisebridge, 2169 Mission St, San Francisco every Thursday at 8pm when there's interest, and definitely every third Thursday of the month.

Questions, comments, and more info

Interested in Past 5mofs? Or the page?

Past 5MoFs











   _  _   _____ __  __  ____  ______
 _| || |_| ____|  \/  |/ __ \|  ____| Noisebridge 8PM third Thursdays
|_  __  _| |__ | \  / | |  | | |__    Years & years of Childlike Wonder &
 _| || |_|___ \| |\/| | |  | |  __|   Adult Technological Themes in
|_  __  _|___) | |  | | |__| | |      San Francisco's XXXth Finest
  |_||_| |____/|_|  |_|\____/|_|      Hacker Show and Tell.

 _    _            _      _   _            _____  _                  _   _ 
| |  | |          | |    | | | |          |  __ \| |                | | | |
| |__| | __ _  ___| | __ | |_| |__   ___  | |__) | | __ _ _ __   ___| |_| |
|  __  |/ _` |/ __| |/ / | __| '_ \ / _ \ |  ___/| |/ _` | '_ \ / _ \ __| |
| |  | | (_| | (__|   <  | |_| | | |  __/ | |    | | (_| | | | |  __/ |_|_|
|_|  |_|\__,_|\___|_|\_\  \__|_| |_|\___| |_|    |_|\__,_|_| |_|\___|\__(_)

Third Thurs, 8PM, Noisebridge, 2169 Mission St, SF, CA, Earth Prime

More info:
Get here:

Submit your talk now!

        Hardware h4x0r extradonaire, the hilaire.

     Send b33r or b!tcoin to noisebridge, c/o #fort


// Number of segments (Shift Register * 8)
#define numOfRegisterPins 24

int SER_Pin = 8;   //pin 14 on the 75HC595
int RCLK_Pin = 9;  //pin 12 on the 75HC595
int SRCLK_Pin = 10; //pin 11 on the 75HC595

// Number of seconds to count from (5 minutes)
int counter = 301;

boolean registers[numOfRegisterPins];

// Time has expired, count up
boolean timeUp = false;

int segments[] = {1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 0, // 0
                  2, 4, 0, 0, 0, 0 ,0, // 1
                  1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 0, 0, // 2
                  1, 2, 3, 4 ,7, 0, 0, // 3
                  2, 3, 4, 5, 0, 0, 0, // 4
                  1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 0, 0, // 5
                  3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 0, 0, // 6
                  1, 2, 4, 0, 0, 0, 0, // 7
                  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, // 8 
                  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 0  // 9
                                       // A
                                       // B
                                       // C
                                       // D
                                       // E
                                     };// F

void setup()
  pinMode(SER_Pin, OUTPUT);
  pinMode(RCLK_Pin, OUTPUT);
  pinMode(SRCLK_Pin, OUTPUT);

void loop()
  int minutes, seconds;
  if (!timeUp)
    if(--counter < 0)
      counter = 1;
      timeUp = true;
  } else {
    if (++counter > 599)
  minutes = floor(counter / 60);
  seconds = counter - (minutes * 60);

  setDigits(minutes * 100 + seconds);


void setDigits(int num)
  int digit0, digit1, digit2;
  digit0 = num;
  while(digit0 >= 10)
    digit0 -= 10;
  digit1 = (num - digit0) / 10;
  while(digit1 >= 10)
    digit1 -= 10;
  digit2 = (num - digit0 - digit1 * 10) / 100;
  setDigit(0, digit0);
  setDigit(1, digit1);
  setDigit(2, digit2);

// Update individual digit with number
void setDigit(int digit, int num)
  // Determine register offset
  int offset = digit * 8;
  // Determine num offset
  int numOff = num * 7;
  // Set on segments HIGH
  for (int i = 0; i < 7; i++)
    if (segments[i + numOff] > 0)
      registers[segments[i + numOff] + offset] = HIGH;

//set all register pins to LOW
void clearRegisters()
  for(int i = 0; i < numOfRegisterPins; i++)
    registers[i] = LOW;

//Set and display registers
//Only call AFTER all values are set how you would like (slow otherwise)
void writeRegisters()
  digitalWrite(RCLK_Pin, LOW);
  for(int i = 0; i < numOfRegisterPins; i++)
    digitalWrite(SRCLK_Pin, LOW);
    digitalWrite(SER_Pin, registers[i]);
    digitalWrite(SRCLK_Pin, HIGH);
  digitalWrite(RCLK_Pin, HIGH);

void n0153()
    for (int i = 0; i < numOfRegisterPins; i++)
      registers[i] = random(2) > 0.5 ? HIGH : LOW;