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Centimeter by centimeter he watched his cock grow thicker,
  TROLL WARNING -- many people have reported way unexcellent behavior on our IRC Channel.
spreading Christa's cunt ever wider in its wake. Both of her hands came
down to grip the base of his cock as she looked down in disbelief.  At
least six inches were outside of her now, and she had taken him nearly all
the way before.  Curt opened his eyes and stared in disbelief.  He was
growing even faster this time!  His cumming continued to make him buck
like a bronco as his shaft grew ever more horse-like.  Thicker and longer
-twined with huge, thick veins- his erection plowed into Christa's tight
bush like a dog trying to fit into a rabbit hole.  


"Ahhh!  Curt!  Omigod ... you're goin' too ... far!"
We use an IRC channel that's on [http://freenode.net/ freenode]. Feel free to join. The needed information is as follows:


Drastically, Curt tried to pull himself out of Christa before he
  irc://chat.freenode.net
hurt her.  Her moaning and bucking were intense and -just before he could-
  #noisebridge
he felt himself hit a massive climax.  Rigid, he watched as his cock
rocketed upwards in size, spreading her cunt lips and making her squeal
half in pain, half in ecstasy. His balls pumped and churned as they lay
heavy on his thighs. In shock he looked at them, tangled in their mass of
pubic hair. Each was larger than a large grapefruit!  His shaft had to be
at least three and a half inches across and nearly sixteen inches long!
The spasm began to fade, but the tingling in his balls remained. Orgasm
subsiding, Curt felt his body grow limp in its wake.


Slowly, Christa pulled off of him and slumped next to him on her
You can connect via a browser at: http://webchat.freenode.net/?channels=#noisebridge
bed.  


His massive rod stood up from his midsection like a bent flagpole.
We have a helpful bot in the channel by the name of [[noisebot|noisebot]] run by [[User:Dr_jesus|dr_jesus]].
Gobs of his cum dripped from Christa's stretched cunt as she panted for
breath and rubbed her delicate hands over Curt's chest.  Opening her eyes,
she glanced at Curt's waist and shook her head slowly.  "God, Curt...  I
don't believe it." She smiled, and nuzzled the smaller man's neck -her
glistening breasts pressing against his chest.  "Th' bigger th' better,
I've always said... I don't think I've Ever been this turned-on!"


Curt returned her smile and kissed Christa gently on the cheek.
== Etiquette and fun ==
He tenderly stroked her breasts, fingertips lingering on her aureoles and
nipples.  "Yeah, but any bigger and only a Clydesdale would be able to
take all of me..."


Christa shrugged as she nestled into the size of Curt's body.  
* It's impolite to store logs of this channel. Please disable logging before joining #noisebridge.
"Maybe," she said conspiratorially, "that wouldn't be all that bad." With
* It is not impolite, however, to add funny quotes to [[quotes|the quotes page]].
that cryptic remark, Christa closed her eyes and gently drifted off to an
* There are trolls on the IRC channel.  Please don't feed them.
erotic sleep.  


The next few days were difficult.  Even when not erect, Curt's new
== Unfamiliar with IRC? ==
endowments were extremely obvious.  His penis hung all the way to his
knees and was nearly as thick as a peppermill.  Still, that was the least
of his problems.  It was possibly due to the extreme exposure his balls
had been given to the original formula, but they'd been growing at an even
faster rate than the rest of him.  Each was the size of a grapefruit and
always seemed to carry the tell-tale signs of that tingling sensation
-together they spanned nearly a foot from side-to-side in front of his
groin.  It wasn't easy to conceal his massive endowments.


It also hadn't been easy to resist Christa's advancements. She
Here's some good [http://freenode.net/using_the_network.shtml general documentation about IRC and Freenode].
was so turned on by his recent growth, he wasn't sure she would ever stop
making him bigger. She'd offered to tit-fuck him if he ever got too big,
and to masturbate him if it went much further beyond that.  Curt had to
admit, it was extremely tempting...  But until he knew he could reverse
the formula, he didn't dare give himself over to that temptation...  


Not when the last growth spurt had so radically increased his
For those who are not familiar with getting on IRC, here's what Mitch did:
size, and the tingle still hadn't gone away...!


Mostly, he got by during the next week by wearing no pants around
* For Windows: Download and install [http://www.pidgin.im/ Pidgin] (free IM chat software for Windows -- there's plenty of other free software to choose from for Windows and other OSs).
his dorm room, but squeezing into a pair of Zubas whenever he had a class.  
* For Macs: Colloquy (that also supports SILC) is Free Software [http://colloquy.info/ Colloquy].
Still, he got stares and more than a few proposals from some of the
* For Linux: $ sudo apt-get install hexchat
prettier women (and a few of the guys) in BioChem lab.  Still, he'd almost
had to cash in on a few of those "favors" to get help swiping the
necessary compounds from the storage lockerLuckily, with his standing
in class, it was easy to stay late "working" on a project and being
allowed to "lock-up" after himself.


Now, after about a week, he thought he may have the solution.
Then (using Pidgin on Windows):


The first chemical seemed to be stimulated by sexual arousal and
# create an IRC account on Pidgin ([http://adammonsen.com/post/329 good documentation for this step])
semen production.  In other words, the more he came, the bigger he got.  
## Go to Accounts (I got to Accounts by right-clicking on the icon in the system tray)
Curt also thought that he may get bigger if his cock was in direct contact
## Click the Add button
with a woman's vaginal juices.  Why that would be the case was still a
## For the Protocal, choose: IRC
mystery to him ... in addition to the twin questions of where the extra
## For the Server:  chat.freenode.net
mass had come from so quickly and why he could still get 16" erections as
## If you have a Screen name (a “nick”), type it in as your Username  (If you don’t own one yet, make one up)
easily as 3 inches... Technically, the blood requirements would be too
## Click on the Advanced tab, and fill in the Real name field
high, and he should've been getting light-headed.  
## Check the Use SSL box, if you like
## Click the Save button
# join channel: #noisebridge:
##In the "freenode-connect" tab that appeared in Pidgin, type: '/j #noisebridge' (without the quotes)
# So that no one else can use your nick, you can register your nickname at freenode.net


His cursory examination of himself showed a development of muscle
and ligament tissue along the length of his shaft, and that could account
for his amazing erections, but he couldn't confirm it.  Nonetheless, he
thought as he looked at the light blue liquid, this seemed to be
appropriate to reverse whatever effects had been caused by the original
fluid.  Christa wouldn't be happy, but he had to think of living a normal
life rather than a horse-like stud!  Still, it wouldn't hurt for one last
time.


As Curt carefully turned off the Bunsen burner and went to sleep,
If all else fails you can use the chatzilla plugin for Firefox:
he didn't notice the shadowed form slip in through his open window and
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/chatzilla/
walk slowly towards his desk...  


== Hacking on IRC ==


Curt's balls still were tingling as he carefully got out of
Some members only want IRC to be used to discuss hacking. To satisfy this we have developed a system to ensure that all discussions are about hacking.
Christa's car at her parent's cabin on Lake Hutton. The sky was clear and
the deeper blue that comes with Evening in Northern Minnesota; the
reflection of the sun off the narrow stream that bubbled down the hill
next to the cabin into the lake was enchanting.  Christa was still
somewhat down since he'd told her that he had developed the reverse
formula and would use it after they had made out this last time.  As she
had said, she really liked men who were freakishly large...  


Curt had just smiled past the word "freakishly" and let it go at
# Say, "I am wondering about (topic)"
that.
# Then say, "Can we do some (topic) hacking?"


Christa opened the door to the family "hunting lodge" and set down
For example, "Wow, can you believe that (recent drama) happened in the space" is not correct.
the bag of groceries on the counter nearby.  The place was huge. Curt let
The correct approach would be, "We really need to do some drama hacking. Can you believe that (recent drama) happened in the space?"  
out a low whistle of breath as he surveyed the scene.  At least ten
trestle tables filled the room beyond the small kitchen in a grand hall
that reminded him of Beowulf's "Herot".  A small balcony ran around the
room about a story overhead and numerous small doors led off from the main
hall into the private bedrooms that filled this place.  Christa hadn't
been kidding when she'd told him her father had liked to hunt with a "few"
friends every autumn.


The fact that this hunting lodge could house at least thirty men
Congratulations, you have just been excellent to other members by only talking about hacking in the IRC channel.
and their equipment was something she hadn't mentioned.  Nearby, a wooden
sign declared the room rates for the weekend during hunting season.
Apparently, her father also made a tidy sum on the place too...  


Christa smiled as she pulled out the jar of blue liquid that Curt
had brought from his dorm room.  It was more than twelve times what he
needed, but it wasn't as concentrated as the original formula.  He'd just
have to keep adding it until he got it right.  Christa shook her head.


"Y'know, guys all over the country would kill to have your problem;
== Channel Defense ==
and you're going to give it all up..."


Curt shook his head with a crooked grin.  "Well, if I get any
Occasionally, people and programs may generate traffic in the #noisebridge IRC channel with the intent of provoking negative emotional responsesIf you currently have operator status in the IRC channel when this happens, use the guidelines for each trollcon level to determine what channel mode to use.
bigger, I'll start having problems walking.  The idea of being hung like
the Eifel Tower may interest me, but not until I can get things under
control!" He chuckled and started bringing in the suitcases from the
porchChrista simply grinned as she watched him work and the mass of his
groin shift around in his pants.  


Curt finished putting the suitcases in one bedroom and turned to
Other things to consider if you're in a hurry:
join Christa back in the kitchen.  She stood not far from him with her
back to the broad double-doors.  Curt started feeling nervous again.
Sheesh!  She was insatiable!  Slowly, she pulled off her sweater revealing
her massive, heavy assets.  Slowly, she swung the doors shut behind her
and sauntered towards Curt.  Running her fingers along the side of his
neck, she gently pushed him backwards towards the bed.


"Christa..."
* Do not op users if they have not authenticated with NickServ. Check if a user is authenticated with NickServ by sending NickServ the command info <user> in a private message.


She shushed him with a single finger and kissed him lightly on the
* Consider setting +r (only allow users registered with NickServ) and +t (only ops can change the topic) on the channel.   
lips"Shhh...  If we're gonna make the most of this weekend, we're
starting now..."


Slowly, Christa pushed him down, lay provocatively on top of
* Consider using +q (channel-level ignore) instead of +b to silence the provoking usersThis allows for users who were mistakenly caught with a hostmask that was too broad to still join the channel and find an op to help troubleshoot.
Curt's body, and rested her ample breasts in his hands.  Curt happily
stroked and fondled them as Christa gently massaged Curt's 16-incher
through the material of his jeansCurt drew three rapid, deep breaths of
shuddering pleasure as Christa's talented fingers probed his
grapefruit-sized balls.  As she bent her face down to plant her lips on
his, she deftly undid his button-fly Zubas and pulled down his underwear.  


At first, his massive organ got caught in the elastic binder,
* Remember that the motivation of the provoking users is to generate emotional responsesIf they do not see any, they will move on to a more responsive channelIt is important to avoid talking about them.
making him wince slightly.  Christa smiled at his expression and pulled
back from his eager hands to watch what she was doing more carefully.
Gently, she licked his engorged knob and pulled his pants off the rest of
his legsMore quickly then, she removed his shirt and the rest of her
own clothing so the two rested naked on the king-sized bed.  Curt's
enormous flagpole stood at attention to Christa's ministrations as she
licked his knob and repeatedly squeezed his semen-heavy ballsThe
tingle, which had been there constantly since the last time they made out,
started to increase even more.  


Slowly though, Christa pulled her mouth away from his cock and
== Defense Procedures ==
slowly rubbed it down her naked chest, between her breasts and gradually
across her flat, tight belly.  Rising to her knees, she slowly lowered
herself down around the monster organ with a look of ecstatic glee on her
face.  Curt couldn't say anything.  It felt too good.  He just hoped she'd
be able to handle what he became next...


Grinding slowly against her cunt, Curt watched as she devoured
There is an inherent conflict between allowing free speech in #noisebridge and restricting the ability of trolls to disrupt the exchange of ideasAny restrictions on speech must be temporaryRemember to undo any changes you make within about 24 hours.
inch after inch of his manhood.  Five inches; then seven.  Finally ten,
eleven and twelve.  Curt could feel the round end of his prick start
bouncing against the inner wall of Christa's cervix, as she took in all
she could length-wiseLowering her hands to the six inches remaining
outside, she stroked his erection as she fucked the upper footStill the
tingling grew.  


With a deep moan, Curt could feel the spunk churning in his balls.
Some tips on creating hostmasks:
"Watch ... watch out ... Christa. <pant> Here ... here <grunt!> I ...
cum...!" The pressure exploded inside him and spread along his shaft with
lighting unlike any in the previous experiences.  Curt watched as his rod
began to grow again.  And grow...


And Grow...
* Around trollcon 2, trolls may start joining from multiple domain names. Make sure to reverse lookup the names to see if they're in the same network block. If they are, set a mask for the whole block.
* Don't bother with username masks (*!username@host.com) unless you know that a troll is on a shared vhost they don't have root on (such as chef.nerp.net).  It is common for trolls to be able to spoof ident replies.
* Note that afraid.org provides a large pool of domains which can have reverse DNS entries added by arbitrary members of the public.  Subdomains under a domain hosted by afraid.org may be entirely legitimate, although you should report offensive subdomains to dnsadmin at afraid dot org for TOS/AUP violations.


And GROW...
=== Trollcon 0 ===


Inch by inch, his erection grew longer and thicker. He could
Recommended [http://freenode.net/using_the_network.shtml channel mode]: +Cn
scarcely believe it.  He watched as his once-small penis broke all
boundaries.  Past eighteen inches ... past twenty...  Curt's balls bucked
and pumped their contents into Christa's vagina with a force like a garden
hose.  Spurts of semen squirted from around his embedded cock as it grew
wider and thicker; stretching Christa's cunt ever further.  Christa wasn't
getting off...  She stayed glued to his boner, riding it like a horse and
crying out in ecstasy as she was expanded beyond belief.  


Twenty-two inches passed and twenty-four neared as Christa was
People are chatting about their business as usual, occasional frustrated ranting by someone.
forced halfway to her feet by the rapid progression.  Curt's cock, now at
least four inches across continued to expand.  Curt gasped as his gaze
settled farther down.  His balls were enormous.  


The two large sacks bounced and jiggled like bowling-ball sized
=== Trollcon 1 ===
water balloons!  More and more cum leaked from Christa's orifice as she
rode and bucked with Curt's hips.  Finally, with a look of pain -or
perhaps resignation at attempting the impossible- Christa pushed with all
her strength against the bed and pulled her cunt off Curt's expanding
member.  Cum spurted up her body, across her tits and drenching her hair.
Still growing, Curt watched with awe as his balls and rod expanded well
into the stallion range of size.  Another minute passed and slowly, ever
so slowly, Curt felt the pressure ease and the tingle return to its
normal, background level.


Weary and panting, Curt closed his eyes and lay back on the bed.
Recommended channel mode: +Cnpt
He could feel his still-stiff pole waving in the gentle breeze of the
air-conditioning.  Absently, he felt Christa touch his rod softly.  He
opened his eyes to watch her gently measure along his length and then his
balls.  She was covered in sweat, cum and excitement.  She looked more
turned-on than Curt thought a person could look.


She glanced up triumphantly.  "My God Curt!  You've broken all the
Troll present and attempting to provoke an emotional response.   
records!  Twenty-six inches long ... twenty-six, Curt!  Your balls are as
big as basketballs and your width is," she measured quickly across his
still engorged knob, "six inches across!" She glanced down at the base of
his rod and smiled.  "An' that's only the tip ... you're at least a good
two inches thicker at the base!" Wiping a handful of cum off her face,
Christa proceeded to slowly slurp it up"You always make the best
dinners," she said coyly.


Curt sat up as his cock deflated and started to hand heavily
Procedure: Set +q on the troll.
across his lap.  It took a full two minutes for the erection to go down.
Gingerly, so as not to knock his giant's balls against his knees, his
swung his feet over the bedside.  His dick must've weighed close to
fifteen pounds!  Swinging it over the edge, he could feel it pull heavily
against his midsection and his balls knock together enticingly.  Curt
winced as the tingle got momentarily stronger.  He could almost feel
himself start to rise to attention again.  Gritting his teeth and forcing
himself to remain un-aroused, Curt patted Christa's shoulder.  "Look ...
it's getting tough to resist more sex.  Can you get the formula in here
now?"


Broken from her size-induced revelry in Curt's cum, Christa looked
=== Trollcon 2 ===
momentarily distracted and crestfallen.  Then, with a slow, weary nod of
her head, she walked out of the room to return after a minute with Curt's
mason-jar-sized beaker.  "Well," he said as he dipped a corner of the bed
sheet into the mixture, "say 'goodbye' to 'junior'..." With that, he began
dabbing the blue liquid over his penis and testicles.  It didn't seem to
be drying right away, like the first formula, but it did stain his skin
similarly.  After several minutes of generous application, Curt lay back
on the bed and waited.


And waited.
Recommended channel mode: +Cnptj 1:60 and possibly +q $~a to quiet unregistered users, or even +r to prevent unregistered users from joining at all.


And Waited...
Multiple trolls incoming and spamming the channel.


An hour passed with no effect.  The tingle was still there.  A
Procedure: Set +j 1:60 on the channel to throttle joins and buy a little time, then start setting +q on the trolls. If the trolls are coming through a web gateway or an IRC bounce host like xzibition, then use a forwarding ban similar to this:
cold chill descended on his heart as he began to suspect that his work had
failed like last time...


'Like last time...' The thought raced through his head.  Christa
  +b *!*@gateway/web/cgi-irc/irc.wikia.com/*$##overflow
was lying next to him gently rubbing his back.  "Christa..." She looked up
into his eyes slowly.


Curt cleared his throat.  "Christa; last time I created this
If the spam makes it hard to see or cut and paste names to create hostmasks, then quiet all nonregistered users temporarily:
formula, it needed stimulation to work ... this time may be the same."
Christa nodded, a small smile growing on her face as she realized where
this was heading.  "I also used a concentrated version.  I want to know if
you'd like to give me a little ... hand here."


Christa's smile broadened as she nodded assent.  She moved to a
  +q $~a
position straddling Curt's chest and planted both her arms above his
shoulders.  "Sure ... but this time," she made a rapid motion behind his
field of vision, "we do it my way." In a second, a loose strap had been
looped around each of Curt's wrists, pinning his arms in place above his
head, attached to the headboard.  Quickly (and accidentally stepping on
one of Curt's balls in the process), she likewise snared his feet and tied
them in place.


"Christa?  What're you..."
=== Trollcon 3 ===


"Hold on Curt!" she interrupted"Let me try this... Do you agree
Recomended channel mode: You're bonedIf possible, use a kickban everyone script to buy time.
to let me pump you off until you shrink down to a more manageable size?"


Curt's brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what Christa was
Channel takeover, troll(s) have ops, spambot(s) spewing text into the channel.
getting at.  After all, it was obvious that was what he had just asked
her.  Slowly, he answered, "yes..." She smiled triumphantly.  


"Just remember you said that..." And she started to lick and pump
Procedure: Get a hold of radii, Syzygy-, or Valkyrie` to override ops and reclaim the channel"/msg chanserv access #noisebridge list" will give you the current list of registered channel operators.   
him back to a full erection.  Curt moaned in pleasure, and watched her as
she went.  It took two hands, but after a few minutes, she stopped and
left the room.  A minute later, she returned with a massive, six-foot tall
foam-rubber cylinder attached to a pulley and some rope.  Still smiling,
she looped the pulley up and over the ceiling beam that crossed the room
twelve feet overheadThen, she tied the ropes -around the bed frame
beneath him- to Curt's hips.  Finally, she pulled the suspended cylinder
down and slid it over Curt's erection.  Fastening hit around his hips as
wellThe whole system was tight.


With a smile and gentle pull on the tube, she said "Let the games
It's not guaranteed, but Freenode staff may show up and help deal with it, as they claim to have a mechanism for detecting these kinds of problems.
begin..."


The tube descended along Curt's shaft, erotically caressing its
== Abuse Contacts ==
entire length like a giant cunt.  Hell, Curt thought, I've even got room
to spare!  As he automatically pumped his hips against the sensuous
pressure, the tube moved in response, pumping him even more.  Between his
legs, Christa fondled and licked his balls.  The tingle began to increase,
as he neared orgasm.  Forcing his head to watch, should he lock in ecstasy
again, Curt glanced at his glans to see the reduction take place.


It didn't.  Instead, he began to grow again.  Inwardly, he
It's important to report trolls to the ISP hosting the abuserMost ISPs have an acceptable use policy which prohibits antisocial behavior, and having everyone affected by the troll report the abuser will help limit the troll's resourcesHere's a list of AUPs and contacts for various ISPsYou should also get the output of the following CTCP requests to help fingerprint the user BEFORE you kick them from the channel:
screamed denial as the erotic sensations clouded his mind and sent it
spiraling to new heights of ecstasyNow, his erection truly resembled a
horse-sized schlong.  Even bigger.  As he pumped and came, he watched the
base thicken across his midsection, soon reaching a diameter of at least
ten inches.  He could feel by the rubbing against the inside of the tube
that his cock was at least a foot longerChrista laughed in delight.
Curt's balls had expanded to beach-ball size.  There was no way he could
walk now ... not at least without a wheelbarrow to carry his dick around
inFar above at the top of the tube, he could see a garbage bag billow
out from the top, collecting the cum that had shot up that far.


The harness kept pumping.
* FINGER - Returns the user's full name, and idle time.
* VERSION - The version and type of the client.
* SOURCE - Where to obtain a copy of a client.
* USERINFO - A string set by the user (never the client coder)
* CLIENTINFO - Dynamic master index of what a client knows.
* PING - Used to measure the delay of the IRC network
* TIME - Gets the local date and time from other clients.


"Christa ... take it off; it's not working!"


"Oh it's working all-right," she responded, indicating the pulley
{|border="1"
and rope.  
!Domain
!AUP
!Sections likely violated
!Contact email address
|-
|covad.net
|[http://support.covad.net/export/sites/support/resources/legal/docs/Covad_AUP.pdf Acceptable Use Policy]
|Illegal use prohibited (iv), Abuse use prohibited (ii), (v)
|abuse@covad.net
|-
|sbcglobal.net, pacbell.net, 64.134.230.29 (wayport)
|[http://www.att.com/aup Acceptable Use Policy]
|Inappropriate Interaction with Minors, Threatening Material or Content
|abuse@att.net
|-
|comcast.net
|[http://www.comcast.com/Corporate/Customers/Policies/HighSpeedInternetAUP.html High Speed Internet AUP]
|Conduct and information restrictions
|[http://www.comcast.net/terms/abuse/ abuse@comcast.net]
|-
|157.22.245.18 (spoofed reverse DNS PTR of bordersgroupinc.customer.alter.net)
|[http://www.verizonbusiness.com/terms/aup/ Acceptable Use Policy]
|Illegal Use ("Transmission, distribution or storage of any material in violation of any applicable law or regulation is prohibited. This includes... material that is obscene")
|[http://www.verizonbusiness.com/terms/aup/contacts/ abuse-mail@verizonbusiness.com]
|-
|}


"That's not what I mean!" Curt gasped as his own automatic bucking
== See Also ==
drove the pump harder along his enlarged member.  "The formula ... it
[[Slack]]
didn't work!"
 
Christa smiled.  "Sure; it probably does...  But I switched it the
other night..."
 
Curt's eyes widened, as much in ecstasy as shock.  "What?!!!  You
replaced it?  <gasp> With what?"
 
Christa shrugged.  "Oil, water and food dye...  I've got the real
formula in the next room."
 
Curt clenched his eyes shut as another shudder ran though him.  As
confused, betrayed and angered as he was with Christa, the sensations of
erotic pleasure, began to overwhelm his mind.  Dully, he began to enjoy
the helpless growth...  Christa walked up to where he lay, gyrating on the
bed and gently lowered her breasts over his face.  Tentatively, Curt's
tongue wandered over her lush surface, searching out the sweat and salt on
her skin.  Smiling, she gradually pulled backwards and grabbed her
sweater.
 
Curt looked at her confused.  "Christa...?"
 
With a shrug, she pulled her clothing on and walked to the
double-doors.  "Just gotta few errands to run, Curt...  I'll be back." She
paused and looked back through the door as she left.  "After you've had a
little time to grow on me..." With that, she shut the door and left.
 
Curt felt the tingle grow as he started to cum again.
 
And again...  And again...  And again...  And again...
 
Christa opened the door to her father's hunting lodge with a light
feeling in her heart.  She'd taken her time shopping for the groceries
they'd need this weekend, but then she'd also taken great delight in
imagining how big Curt would get in her absence.  From the kitchen, she
could hear him still grunting and moaning in the master bedroom.  Smiling,
she put the groceries away and pulled off her clothes.  Sultrily, she
walked towards the door.
 
And stepped in cum.
 
Surprised, she looked down at the eight-foot diameter puddle that
oozed from under the door.  Holy shit, she thought, how far had he gone?
She'd only been gone a couple hours...  Rapidly she flung open the doors
and then stood, staring in erotic fascination.  Large droplets of cum
covered the ceiling, support beams, walls, bed and windows.  The puddle in
the room was about six inches deep and still warm.  Curt had really grown.
 
The foam rubber tube was stretched thicker and longer by an amount
even Christa hadn't expected.  The pulley's still worked, but very
slightly ... Curt's hips couldn't lift up against his five-foot diameter
testicles enough to provide much pull to the pulleys.  His cock, massive
enough when she'd left, strained at it's foam rubber prison ... three full
feet across and sixteen feet long!  Massive, blue veins crisscrossed his
massive erection, still pulsing with his last ejaculation.  Little Curt
was barely visible beyond the monster that had become his genitalia.  Like
a tiny bug on a much larger animal, Curt looked sweaty, tired and ...
aroused.
 
He smiled gently at her as she stepped tenuously into his field of
vision.  "I knew you'd get back." He glanced his eyes over the length of
his penis.  "Long line at Rainbow?"
 
Christa smiled and bent forward to lick the cum from his chest,
face and hair.  The large plastic bag she'd put over the top of the tube
had long since ruptured spraying its contents over the room.  His semen
was still warm and delicious.  She wrapped her arms around his body and
undid the straps.  Slowly, she removed the equipment and peeled the last
remains of the foam-rubber tube from his pulsing member.  God, was it
huge!
 
With trepidation, she pulled it down and gave it a tiny lick on
the underside of it's head.  Slowly, she rubbed up and down the length of
his shaft, reveling in the warm feel of the smooth flesh and warm cum
glistening on its broad surface.  She turned to Curt, "well, I got my
wish...  Wait here..." With that, she left the room.
 
Curt raised an eyebrow.  "Where would I go?"
 
A second later she returned.  Curt could hear her enter, but
couldn't see past his own softening erection.  After cumming six times in
the last two hours, he was still horny ... it was strange but oddly
pleasurable.  Vaguely, he wondered if he'd ever be un-horny again.
 
Christa walked into his view holding his jar.  With a smile she
shrugged, "I guess you've earned this..." Slowly, she moved to start
dabbing it on his erection.
 
"Wait."
 
Surprised, Christa looked up.
 
Curt smiled half-crooked.  "I thought we had several days up here
... no reason to go so fast..." Christa looked at Curt, clearly surprised.
He laughed at her expression.  "Well, what did you expect?  I thought you
wanted to see how big I could get?  Let's see what this baby can do..."
 
Christa smiled slowly and put the jar down on the floor.  Making
sure that the bed had rollers she opened the double doors to the main
hall.  They'd need plenty of room for what she had in mind...
 
Curt dropped the steaming spaghetti noodles into the strainer and
ran water over them to wash off the excess starch.  With flair, he flopped
the whole, steaming mass into a serving dish and brought it over to the
table in the middle of his small dorm room.  The neighbors might complain
about the smell of cooking Italian food, but he didn't really care.
 
His over-sized Zubas still took some getting used to, as did the
huge three-footer tucked away beneath them.  With balls the size of
volleyballs it was difficult to hide what he'd become, but he'd have to
learn to live with it.  Christa watched him walk with amusement and a
seductive gleam in her eye.  Now that he was guaranteeably bigger than
anything on two legs, she was always in the mood.
 
It was three weeks later.
 
Smiling he took their antipasto salads from his soda-fridge and
served their dinner.  It had taken the whole jar, and twelve ejaculations
to undo what had been done to him, and even then he was stuck at this
impossible size.  Still, it could've been worse...
 
This was the first time they'd been able to get alone together in
weeks; both of their studies for fall finals had been hell.  Now they had
the whole three weeks of Christmas break to spend together indulging their
every, carnal desire.
 
"You ready for this break?" asked Christa through a mouthful of
salad.
 
Curt nodded and started spooning up the noodles and sauce on her
plate.  "Yeah, bio-chem was a real bear ... I'll be glad to take a break
for a few weeks..."
 
Christa paused and raised an eyebrow at him.  "No, you don't
understand ... are you really ready?"
 
Curt put down the spoons he'd been using and crossed his arms.
"We discussed this, no more size games with my prick ... I'm lucky it
reduced to the size it did!  Understand?"
 
"O.K. ... o.k. ...  Can't blame a girl for trying, can ya?"
 
Curt chuckled, knowing her, she 'tried' every six minutes.  "No
... I suppose I can't..."
 
Christa stabbed another bit of the antipasto and smiled.  "This is
really good, Curt.  You learn this recipe at home?"
 
"Oh no ... Betty Crocker is good enough teacher for me." He paused
to sip from his Coke.  "Still, I did make the vinaigrette myself..."
 
"Really?" She munched another mouthful, enjoying the play of
flavors and spices.  "It's really good ... 's gotta 'tang' to it that I
don't recognize."
 
Curt smiled slowly.  "Oh, that's the special ingredient..." Again
he sipped from his Coke, satisfied.  Then, sitting back, he began watching
Christa's chest...

Revision as of 16:49, 10 October 2018

TROLL WARNING -- many people have reported way unexcellent behavior on our IRC Channel.

We use an IRC channel that's on freenode. Feel free to join. The needed information is as follows:

irc://chat.freenode.net 
#noisebridge

You can connect via a browser at: http://webchat.freenode.net/?channels=#noisebridge

We have a helpful bot in the channel by the name of noisebot run by dr_jesus.

Etiquette and fun

  • It's impolite to store logs of this channel. Please disable logging before joining #noisebridge.
  • It is not impolite, however, to add funny quotes to the quotes page.
  • There are trolls on the IRC channel. Please don't feed them.

Unfamiliar with IRC?

Here's some good general documentation about IRC and Freenode.

For those who are not familiar with getting on IRC, here's what Mitch did:

  • For Windows: Download and install Pidgin (free IM chat software for Windows -- there's plenty of other free software to choose from for Windows and other OSs).
  • For Macs: Colloquy (that also supports SILC) is Free Software Colloquy.
  • For Linux: $ sudo apt-get install hexchat

Then (using Pidgin on Windows):

  1. create an IRC account on Pidgin (good documentation for this step)
    1. Go to Accounts (I got to Accounts by right-clicking on the icon in the system tray)
    2. Click the Add button
    3. For the Protocal, choose: IRC
    4. For the Server: chat.freenode.net
    5. If you have a Screen name (a “nick”), type it in as your Username (If you don’t own one yet, make one up)
    6. Click on the Advanced tab, and fill in the Real name field
    7. Check the Use SSL box, if you like
    8. Click the Save button
  2. join channel: #noisebridge:
    1. In the "freenode-connect" tab that appeared in Pidgin, type: '/j #noisebridge' (without the quotes)
  3. So that no one else can use your nick, you can register your nickname at freenode.net


If all else fails you can use the chatzilla plugin for Firefox: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/chatzilla/

Hacking on IRC

Some members only want IRC to be used to discuss hacking. To satisfy this we have developed a system to ensure that all discussions are about hacking.

  1. Say, "I am wondering about (topic)"
  2. Then say, "Can we do some (topic) hacking?"

For example, "Wow, can you believe that (recent drama) happened in the space" is not correct. The correct approach would be, "We really need to do some drama hacking. Can you believe that (recent drama) happened in the space?"

Congratulations, you have just been excellent to other members by only talking about hacking in the IRC channel.


Channel Defense

Occasionally, people and programs may generate traffic in the #noisebridge IRC channel with the intent of provoking negative emotional responses. If you currently have operator status in the IRC channel when this happens, use the guidelines for each trollcon level to determine what channel mode to use.

Other things to consider if you're in a hurry:

  • Do not op users if they have not authenticated with NickServ. Check if a user is authenticated with NickServ by sending NickServ the command info <user> in a private message.
  • Consider setting +r (only allow users registered with NickServ) and +t (only ops can change the topic) on the channel.
  • Consider using +q (channel-level ignore) instead of +b to silence the provoking users. This allows for users who were mistakenly caught with a hostmask that was too broad to still join the channel and find an op to help troubleshoot.
  • Remember that the motivation of the provoking users is to generate emotional responses. If they do not see any, they will move on to a more responsive channel. It is important to avoid talking about them.

Defense Procedures

There is an inherent conflict between allowing free speech in #noisebridge and restricting the ability of trolls to disrupt the exchange of ideas. Any restrictions on speech must be temporary. Remember to undo any changes you make within about 24 hours.

Some tips on creating hostmasks:

  • Around trollcon 2, trolls may start joining from multiple domain names. Make sure to reverse lookup the names to see if they're in the same network block. If they are, set a mask for the whole block.
  • Don't bother with username masks (*!username@host.com) unless you know that a troll is on a shared vhost they don't have root on (such as chef.nerp.net). It is common for trolls to be able to spoof ident replies.
  • Note that afraid.org provides a large pool of domains which can have reverse DNS entries added by arbitrary members of the public. Subdomains under a domain hosted by afraid.org may be entirely legitimate, although you should report offensive subdomains to dnsadmin at afraid dot org for TOS/AUP violations.

Trollcon 0

Recommended channel mode: +Cn

People are chatting about their business as usual, occasional frustrated ranting by someone.

Trollcon 1

Recommended channel mode: +Cnpt

Troll present and attempting to provoke an emotional response.

Procedure: Set +q on the troll.

Trollcon 2

Recommended channel mode: +Cnptj 1:60 and possibly +q $~a to quiet unregistered users, or even +r to prevent unregistered users from joining at all.

Multiple trolls incoming and spamming the channel.

Procedure: Set +j 1:60 on the channel to throttle joins and buy a little time, then start setting +q on the trolls. If the trolls are coming through a web gateway or an IRC bounce host like xzibition, then use a forwarding ban similar to this:

 +b *!*@gateway/web/cgi-irc/irc.wikia.com/*$##overflow

If the spam makes it hard to see or cut and paste names to create hostmasks, then quiet all nonregistered users temporarily:

 +q $~a

Trollcon 3

Recomended channel mode: You're boned. If possible, use a kickban everyone script to buy time.

Channel takeover, troll(s) have ops, spambot(s) spewing text into the channel.

Procedure: Get a hold of radii, Syzygy-, or Valkyrie` to override ops and reclaim the channel. "/msg chanserv access #noisebridge list" will give you the current list of registered channel operators.

It's not guaranteed, but Freenode staff may show up and help deal with it, as they claim to have a mechanism for detecting these kinds of problems.

Abuse Contacts

It's important to report trolls to the ISP hosting the abuser. Most ISPs have an acceptable use policy which prohibits antisocial behavior, and having everyone affected by the troll report the abuser will help limit the troll's resources. Here's a list of AUPs and contacts for various ISPs. You should also get the output of the following CTCP requests to help fingerprint the user BEFORE you kick them from the channel:

  • FINGER - Returns the user's full name, and idle time.
  • VERSION - The version and type of the client.
  • SOURCE - Where to obtain a copy of a client.
  • USERINFO - A string set by the user (never the client coder)
  • CLIENTINFO - Dynamic master index of what a client knows.
  • PING - Used to measure the delay of the IRC network
  • TIME - Gets the local date and time from other clients.


Domain AUP Sections likely violated Contact email address
covad.net Acceptable Use Policy Illegal use prohibited (iv), Abuse use prohibited (ii), (v) abuse@covad.net
sbcglobal.net, pacbell.net, 64.134.230.29 (wayport) Acceptable Use Policy Inappropriate Interaction with Minors, Threatening Material or Content abuse@att.net
comcast.net High Speed Internet AUP Conduct and information restrictions abuse@comcast.net
157.22.245.18 (spoofed reverse DNS PTR of bordersgroupinc.customer.alter.net) Acceptable Use Policy Illegal Use ("Transmission, distribution or storage of any material in violation of any applicable law or regulation is prohibited. This includes... material that is obscene") abuse-mail@verizonbusiness.com

See Also

Slack