voronika asked me to put this here as a favor to him, here ya go bud
I still can't believe what happened to me.
December 25th 1999 is a day I will never forget.
That is the day my mother raped me for the first time.
(Merry fucking Christmas you bitch!)
I mean it was just cruel and sick and nasty.
There is no excuse, no rational explanation for her behavior.
It wasn't just that she raped me, it was how she did it, the utterly despicable way she went about it.
I guess I'm getting ahead of myself a little.
To understand you have to go back a year to the events just before Christmas 1998.
Let me start at the beginning.
My dad died when I was 14.
My mom and I struggled to put ourselves back together.
For 2 years we leaned on each other for support, because we had nobody else.
My mom is really young; she had me when she was still in high school.
In some ways she was more like a big sister or best friend to me than a mom.
We laughed and played together, had tickle fights, and talked for hours.
Sometimes she would just hang out in my room and read or watch tv.
I guess on some level I must have loved her in a romantic way for a long time.
I just did not KNOW it until I saw her pictures.
I found a crate in our attic with around 20 old Penthouse magazines.
Upon closer inspection I realized the centerfold was my mom!
The date on the mag was about a year after I was born.
She was the same age then, that I am now.
As I looked at this beautiful, big titted, blonde teenager, I felt myself get rock hard.
Page after page of my mom's mouth watering tits, bald pussy, and wicked little smile made me want to fuck her.
But it was her ass, her fat, plump, juicy, adorable ass that sealed her fate.
I fantasized about licking it, sticking my face as far inside it as I could, and just sniffing it, sleeping, warm and safe and secure with my lips pressed against it.
I wanted to suck her ass-meat, to make her cum and pant and scream my name.
But most of all I wanted to fuck my mom's sweet ass hard.
To peel it open and hold her down and pound it, to ram it and rip it open.
A small part of me wanted to hear her whimper, and sniffle and beg - just a little.
For a while I became obsessed with Susan.
I loved her yes, but I also wanted to utterly dominate her.
I guess I kind of lost control and sort of seduced and pressured my mom into giving up her ass to me, if I agreed not to fuck her pussy.
At the time I thought that was the greatest night of my life.
I convinced her to let me take her out for a special dinner at the Paladin Club, and got her drunk.
We even made out, did a little dirty dancing, and groped each other.
But when we got home, she refused to have sex with me.
I had to persuade her, to explain that if she did not give herself to me I would just rape her anyway.
Finally we made a deal.
Consensual Anal sex, for a guarantee that I would leave her cunt alone.
Clearly she did not like it, but she did (reluctantly) agree.
Susan let me fuck her ass, helped me tear her up.
Her butt juice was so warm and wet, and tangy.
She grunted and squealed so prettily, in such a lady-like manner that I fell even deeper in love with my mom.
That was our first time together, and I thought the beginning of a special, tender love.
In the months that followed my mother withdrew from me.
She claimed that I had raped her!
That our love was not consensual.
I felt really bad about the misunderstanding, and did everything I could to repair our relationship.
As 1999 rolled along I thought that I had.
Boy was I wrong.
Susan somehow found out about my alter ego, Jaz1701, the rape Author.
She accessed my WEBTV account and read my e-mails from Readers, and visited the numerous free sites that I post stories to.
I had written about our true love and how I had fucked her sweet ass during Christmas of 1998.
I guess the whole issue of rape and incest has been on my mind a lot this year.
Jaz has written several stories about it.
I was thinking about my mom the whole time.
Stories like "Rape Confessional, Rape Betrayal #7, Sister Betrayed, and How Much Do You Love Your Wife" were all inspired by the events in my real life, with mom.
But when she read them she got really mad.
So mad that she decided to rape me.
Let's review, ok I pressured her into having consensual sex.
She then lies to me, reads my personal e-mail, seduces me, drugs me, dresses me in women's underwear, takes pictures of me, blackmails me, humiliates me - oh yeah and rapes my ass with a giant double headed dildo!
It's not fair, she is sick!
I mean shit, what kind of mother would do that to her only child?
I made mistakes, sure.
In the heat of the moment, I was over eager, but what I did came from love.
My mother just wanted to hurt me, she just wanted revenge for my accidental rape of her the previous Christmas.
The year 2000 did not start well for me.
Mom was constantly blackmailing me, threatening to mail my friends our special Christmas photos of me in her bra, panties being raped up my hairy ass.
"John honey, do you mind licking mommy's pussy for her?
You are such a precious little buttercup angel.
Do a good job sweetie or your pics will be sent to the entire football team.
Make me cum hard baby, lick it all up Johnny, your dad would be so proud of you.
Momma's little rapist is growing up so fast!
" she laughed as she humped my face and nearly cut off my air supply as she came.
It was a nightmare.
Let's be clear: no means no!
Sex without consent is rape.
I did not give her consent to do this to me.
I fucking hated it.
I was not allowed to fuck her pussy, play with her tits, and certainly her ass was way the fuck off limits.
She would wag it in front of me, rub it against me - to make sure I knew what I would never have again.
She thought it was funny to watch me get hard, and the demand that I NOT cum.
If I did...
pictures would get mailed.
It went on for months.
My mom forgot one thing.
I was applying to colleges.
I would be leaving this town next summer.
As soon as I was accepted, her power over me would be at an end.
I slowly came to realize that she had no real power over me anyway.
I mean let's get real.
She was an adult who had raped her son, repeatedly.
If I wanted to, she would be going to jail.
This summer, I began to tape our conversations, our sexual time together.
"Mom please, don't make me do this anymore, Don't make me lick your pussy.
This is rape mom.
I still love you, but this is RAPE.
Won't you please stop hurting your son, please mom," I declared in between licking and lapping and sucking her to a major orgasm.
Sometimes her comments would mention that I had raped her first.
That was of course unacceptable for my purposes, so I taped over it.
Usually though, when she was close to orgasm she was out of it, demanding, wild - almost vulgar.
"Shut the fuck up and lick my sticky, stinky, wet little cunt.
You are mine, and you will pleasure me.
This is all that you are good for.
Suck, suck, suck your mommy.
I think I'll strap on my dildo and rape your sweet little ass when we are done.
I want to see you bleed a little.
How does that sound you sick slut," she said, as I recorded the incriminating evidence.
On November 15th I got a letter in the mail from Penn State.
I had been accepted on a partial academic scholarship.
There is one thing about being an only child in a family where people die young.
You get a lot of insurance money left to you.
Cars, houses, and even a boat were sold when grandpa, dad, and finally grandma died.
Stock, bank accounts, etc were all left to me and mom.
The money was held in trust until I turned 21, but I got a small allowance.
The money was earning interest.
I was 17, I only had to hang on until then and while I might not be filthy rich...
I'd be very, very, comfortable.
Between my allowance, and part time job a PSU scholarship was all I needed.
I was free!
My mom had nothing on me, the power had shifted.
I could send her to jail by playing my tape anytime I wanted.
I planned to rub it in her face, to taunt her.
I ran downstairs to show her my acceptance letter.
She read it carefully and got an odd look on her face.
I could swear that her eyes teared up and she let out this breathy, pathetic little gasp.
"John... are you going to accept?
Will you be leaving me, moving thousands of miles away from our home?
Have you thought about how alone you will be?
We have had our ups and downs especially in the last two years - but do you really want to be completely alone?" she said as she turned and quickly went to her room and locked the door.
I don't know how to explain how I felt just then.
I was so ready to hurt her, but when I realized that I had, I got no pleasure from it.
I had been in love with Susan for so long that even after all she had done to me this year, hurting her; the reality that I had caused her pain, still felt unnatural.
Mom did not show her face for the rest of the day, and I had plenty of time to run the scene over and over in my mind.