From Noisebridge
Revision as of 01:47, 17 February 2014 by (Talk)

Jump to: navigation, search
BJ and Zedd welcome you to the Noisekitchen!



  • refrigerator with freezer
  • 4-range electric stove
  • electric ovens
  • commercial 3-tub stainless sink
  • open storage above sink
  • stainless prep counter
  • multi-shelf metal open pantry
  • large pot cupboard
  • various utensils and supplies
  • Coffee-making equipment
  • food preparation machines


Communal kitchens are difficult to maintain.

Due to the need for sanitation, freshness and the near simultaneous use of tools, communal kitchens are a complex collaborative workplace. Everyone using the kitchen should conciously participate in preventing entropy.

Communication between everyone using the kitchen is essential. Minimalistic direct communication is essential or disfunction, spailed food, and an unsanitary environment rapidly ensues.

If you are not sure, or are certain you don't know how to use the kitchen, find collaboratores who already have a comprehensive understanding of kitchen excellence.

kitchen maxims

Use oldest items first. (eg. stock rotation)

Add new to old, never add old to new.

Clean as you go. Leave it cleaner than you found it.

Start with less, add more to taste. (eg. salt, pepper, soy sauce)

Keep drawers and cupboards closed when not in use.

Everything in its place, a place for everything.

Label it. (date, description, project, instructions, ...)

If in doubt, ask.


At Noisebridge any use of a resource is called hacking. So using the kitchen for any purpose is hacking. This also means anyone using the kitchen is, at all times, responsible for being excellent.

Kitchen tools belong in the kitchen. Some kitchen tools are expensive and may be difficult to replace. If you need a kitchen tool elsewhere, leave a note on the kitchen white board, and return it as soon as your done with it.

Larger projects invovle resouyrces (tools, ingredients, labor), so the intentional destruction of a project is not being excellent. Make an effort to communicate with the team members working on the project before taking action to remove a work in progress.

Tools for eating and drinking should not leave Noisebridge and should be returned to the kitchen when no longer needed.

The kitchen is a place where bio-hazards appear in a few hours.

If you don't want to kill/sicken the other hackers, ask someone who knows about sanitation, look it up online, or stay out of the kitchen/fridge/dumpster.

If you don't appreciate moldy food or vermin, learn from and help the other food hackers clean.

Communication includes writing labels with as much details needed for coherent communication.

If you want to improve the kitchen, study excellent kitchen design. Since we are hackers, it is ok to keep changing the kitchen, as long as you don't stop until its ready for the other food hackers to return.

If two or more projects are using the kitchen at the same time, work it out using your excellent communication skills.

algorithm for food hacking

  communicate with those in and around the kitchen;
  discuss your project;
  inventory available ingredients, tools, supplies;
  plan item or menu;
  make shopping list, budget, collect money if needed;
  if enough people, split into two groups;
          buying team goes shopping;
          cleaning team prepares kitchen;
  prepare food;
  eat, share left overs, safely store uneaten food;
  cleaning, sorting, putting things away;
  if inclined, write up your experiences, recipes, ideas for the future;..

See also

“Is my big boy embarrassed about having merely gigantic balls, instead of spectacularly huge ones?,” Jen teased. “I only got you off about six times.”

“Yeah, but during the night….” Chris protested.

“You must have had some spectacular dreams, sweetie pie. I hope I was in them.”

“You were!”, Chris assured her. At least, I think you were. After the first few dozen girls, they all kind of blended together. Chris got out of bed and began to stuff his massive member and ballsack into his tight, clingy lycra underpants. Jen looked at her watch nervously.

“Sweetie, I hate to ask this, but I’m going to be late. Can you catch a ride with Tasha and Kimber? Their classes are a little bit later than mine.” Chris agreed and Jen gave him a peck on the cheek. “I’ll see you a bit later, sweetie pie. I’ve got to work my shift at the pizza place this evening, but maybe we can hang out a little before then.” She left the room and Chris continued dressing. He could hear her berating her roomies for not cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, as well as their protestation, and then the door shutting.

Once he finally had his goth outfit on, he stepped into the living room, where Tasha and Kimber were both waiting for him, a bit nervously.Tasha was wearing a lilac t-shirt and silky shorts which clung tight to her hips and bottom, as well as thong sandals which displayed her slim feet and purple toenails. Kimber was wearing a white shirt with bright pink accents and a baggy pair of salmon shorts, as well as tennis shoes.

“Hey, Chris!” Kimber bounded across the room and gave him a big hug. She whispered into his ear. “Last night was magical. I can’t wait to be with you again.” She bounced back out of the hug and looked embarassed. “Sorry about that. I’m just overly friendly.”

“It’s okay. Are you guys ready to go?” Chris responded, awkwardly. The girls both hefted their backpacks and all three of them walked out of the apartment and into the elevator. Once outside, Tasha indicated her car, a beat-up old Volvo, with a wave of her hand, and the three made their way across the parking lot.

“Chris gets front seat,” called Tasha as she unlocked the doors. Kimber stuck out her tongue at her roommate. “I don’t want to hear any more Taylor Swift on the way to class.”

“Oh, pooh! You just don’t have good taste. Don’t you like Taylor Swift, Chris?” asked Kimber, clambering into the back seat.

“Uh, she’s really pretty,” replied Chris, lamely.

As Tasha started the car and buckled her seat belt, she reached across and slipped her hand down the entire length of Chris’s python. “I want your cock again. Soon.” The words slipped out of her mouth muffled by the engine noise, but Chris could hear them clearly. Kimber, however, asked her to repeat herself. “I said ‘Chris should come over again soon.’,” lied Tasha. Chris could feel his shaft starting to harden again.

“You could come over after class and help us clean up the kitchen!” suggested Kimber. She then leaned forward and whispered into his ear. “And you and I could pursue our secret love, Chrissy-poo. I want you so bad.” Her hot breath in his ear made his dick surge outward even more.

“That’s a great idea, Kimber. I’m sure that we can find all sorts of things for Chris to help out with around the apartment.” Tasha reached over and stroked his cock again, smiling. It stiffened further at her touch. By this time, they had reached Bradford, and Chris indicated where Tasha should turn.

As the car pulled up to the Tupelos, Chris finished giving Kimber his cell phone number. “I guess I should get out here.” I’m not sure how I’m going to get out with a semi this size, but I’ll swing it. Kimber made as if to whisper something else into his ear, but planted a kiss on his cheek. Chris opened his door and pivoted his right leg (and his stiffening prick) to get out of the car. Tasha quickly unbuckled her seat belt, lunged across the seat, and planted a open-mouthed kiss full of tongue on the surprised Chris. She then gave him a quick shove out of the door. Chris staggered to retain his balance, and swaying, shut the car door behind him.

“Hey, what did you do that for?” protested Kimber.

“Oh, like you weren’t smooching him every chance you got! Whadda you care anyway? He’s Jen’s boyfriend!”, retorted Tasha.

“But roommates are supposed to share!” whined Kimber as the car sped away.

Great. Now I’ve got to stumble upstairs with my cock almost at my ankle. Chris began the long shuffle to his room. I think I’ll have time to jerk off and grab some breakfast before class. His stomach began to rumble insistently.

Personal tools