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This is a wiki page for a mediation process to help address interpersonal conflicts in and relating to the Noisebridge community.  
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Mediation is a process that Noisebridgers can volunteer to try to help resolve disputes with each other. It is not an obligation or requirement and has to be entered into willingly by all concerned for it to have a chance at working.
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All relationships take work.  This includes community.  Community takes work.  Occasionally there may be disagreements in any relationship.
All relationships take work.  This includes community.  Community takes work.  Occasionally there may be disagreements in any relationship.
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The Noisebridge [[Conflict Resolution]] wiki page contains general guidance for people in the community who are experiencing problems.  These suggestions might help someone who is trying to decide if they should seek mediation or not.
The Noisebridge [[Conflict Resolution]] wiki page contains general guidance for people in the community who are experiencing problems.  These suggestions might help someone who is trying to decide if they should seek mediation or not.


=== When To Mediate ===
The first step when there is a disagreement is for the people involved to talk to each other, and, while following Noisebridge's one rule of being excellent to each other, work out the problem(s) together.  This tends to clear up almost all disagreements.
The first step when there is a disagreement is for the people involved to talk to each other, and, while following Noisebridge's one rule of being excellent to each other, work out the problem(s) together.  This tends to clear up almost all disagreements.


If the disagreement can't be worked out together, all persons involved with the disagreement are encouraged to get together with a mediator.   
If the disagreement can't be worked out together, all persons involved with the disagreement are encouraged to get together with a mediator.   


=== Mediators ===
Mediators are people who have volunteered their time to help people who have disagreements, to de-escalate conflict, to seek resolution, and to provide community support and protection for all involved.  The ideal mediators should strive to make themselves readily accessible to both conflicting parties, and should also enjoy interacting with others without the need for imposing their own wills over those of the other people involved in the particular conflict.
Mediators are people who have volunteered their time to help people who have disagreements, to de-escalate conflict, to seek resolution, and to provide community support and protection for all involved.  The ideal mediators should strive to make themselves readily accessible to both conflicting parties, and should also enjoy interacting with others without the need for imposing their own wills over those of the other people involved in the particular conflict.


=== How Mediation Works ===
The role of the mediator is to calmly talk with those involved to help clear up the disagreements they have with one another.  If those involved agree, the mediator can help schedule an informal get-together with the parties involved (or act as go-between, if that is more appropriate).  It is the mediators role to ensure that all involved feel safe, feel heard, and are able to say their peace.  No one should feel attacked during the mediation get-together. More details on this are given below (''please see [[Mediation#Specific_process_for_mediators|Specific process for mediators]]'').  
The role of the mediator is to calmly talk with those involved to help clear up the disagreements they have with one another.  If those involved agree, the mediator can help schedule an informal get-together with the parties involved (or act as go-between, if that is more appropriate).  It is the mediators role to ensure that all involved feel safe, feel heard, and are able to say their peace.  No one should feel attacked during the mediation get-together. More details on this are given below (''please see [[Mediation#Specific_process_for_mediators|Specific process for mediators]]'').  


In past years, disagreements between people have been resolved through mediation -- even when it appeared to all those involved that the situation was intractable.  
In past years, disagreements between people have been resolved through mediation -- even when it appeared to all those involved that the situation was intractable.  


The following people have at some time or another over the last several years volunteered to help mediate conflicts and provide a sounding board and guidance for people who are experiencing troublesome interpersonal interactions.
=== Mediation Volunteers ===
The following people have volunteered to help mediate conflicts and provide a sounding board and guidance for people who are experiencing troublesome interpersonal interactions.
* Feel free to contact any of the listed people if you would like help in mediating any problems. 
* Also, feel free to ask others to mediate for you, as the volunteers are not an exclusive list.


* [[User:maltman23|Mitch]]
* [[User:bfb|Kevin]]
* [[User:bfb|Kevin]]
* [[User:Lxpk|Alex]]
* [[User:Lxpk|Alex]]
Line 24: Line 32:
* [[User:Fineline|Steve]]
* [[User:Fineline|Steve]]
* [[User:Tman66|J]]
* [[User:Tman66|J]]
* [[User:Ruthgrace|Ruth Grace Wong]]
* [[User:Bambikill|Jade (iisjade on Slack and gmail)]]
 
* [[User:Berni|Bernice (bernice on Slack)]]
Feel free to contact any of the above people if you would like help in mediating any problems.  Also, feel free to ask others to mediate for you, as the above volunteers are not an exclusive list.


Noisebridge operates by anarchic chaos, by do-ocracy, and, like all organizations, through a healthy serving of precedent.  There are no rules for how this process should work, but we have some suggestions:
Noisebridge operates by anarchic chaos, by do-ocracy, and, like all organizations, through a healthy serving of precedent.  There are no rules for how this process should work, but we have some suggestions:


==General process:==
==The Mediation Process==
===Mediation:===


Mediators can actively mediate a discussion between the individuals having conflict, or talk to one individual as a proxy for the other.  
Mediators can actively mediate a discussion between the individuals having conflict, or talk to one individual as a proxy for the other.  


===Mindfulness towards Escalation:===
===Mindfulness towards Escalation===


If it seems appropriate, after talking with the original parties, the mediator (and indeed everyone involved) should start to tactfully ask around and find out if this is an isolated conflict or a more generalized problem in the community. Most personal problems at Noisebridge can be resolved through a series of calm one-on-one talks, and almost all of the rest can be solved by a series of mediated discussions. If mediation is unsuccessful, or if what is going on appears to be part of a larger pattern, the mediator may suggest calling a meeting of the Safe Space Working Group for discussion.
If it seems appropriate, after talking with the original parties, the mediator (and indeed everyone involved) should start to tactfully ask around and find out if this is an isolated conflict or a more generalized problem in the community. Most personal problems at Noisebridge can be resolved through a series of calm one-on-one talks, and almost all of the rest can be solved by a series of mediated discussions. If mediation is unsuccessful, or if what is going on appears to be part of a larger pattern, the mediator may suggest calling a meeting of the Safe Space Working Group for discussion.


===Advocate:===
===Advocate===


Before a problem with an individual is brought to a Safe Space Working Group, someone must step forward to act as an advocate for the individual, even if that individual happens to be widely disliked. It is all too easy for conflict to prod people into acting in ways that they later regret.  There are sufficient people around the Space who are willing to act as advocates (see above list of mediator volunteers on this wiki page).
Before a problem with an individual is brought to a Safe Space Working Group, someone must step forward to act as an advocate for the individual, even if that individual happens to be widely disliked. It is all too easy for conflict to prod people into acting in ways that they later regret.  There are sufficient people around the Space who are willing to act as advocates (see above list of mediator volunteers on this wiki page).
Line 48: Line 54:
If you try to follow these suggestions, that would be totally excellent.  
If you try to follow these suggestions, that would be totally excellent.  


==Specific process for mediators==
===Process for Mediators===


First, talk to the person(s) who asked you to mediate to find out more about the conflict.
First, talk to the person(s) who asked you to mediate to find out more about the conflict.
Line 59: Line 65:


If this mediation is not successful, not embraced by one of the conflicting parties, or is partially successful but the mediator's research indicates that this may be part of a pattern of behavior, the mediator is encouraged to ensure there is an advocate for everyone involved, and to call for a Safe Space Working Group to discuss the issues.
If this mediation is not successful, not embraced by one of the conflicting parties, or is partially successful but the mediator's research indicates that this may be part of a pattern of behavior, the mediator is encouraged to ensure there is an advocate for everyone involved, and to call for a Safe Space Working Group to discuss the issues.
It had been long since last Jane and Simon had satisfying sex. Far too long for a young, married couple who were otherwise happy with each other. That night, however, Jane entered their bedroom with a certain look of confidence, showing herself completely naked before her man. She had asked him to sit down at the edge of the bed for she was about to blow him, which was a really weird thing for her to do, since she mostly hated blowjobs. Simon was none to complain, though.
She knelt down between his legs and held his erect penis with two fingers. If she were to close her hand around it, it’s surface would have been entirely covered, with nothing left to see, so small it was.
-Hello there, little guy.
-C’mon, Jane, don’t say that. You know it’s not fair.
-You’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry.
She leaned down until her lips barely touched the head. She looked up at her husband for a second and smiled smugly while her tongue reached out and started coating his meat with  copious amounts of saliva. As she did this, her fingers started a slow jerking movement, making sure that her fluids would cover the whole surface while staring him in the eyes.
After thoroughly covering his meat in saliva, she leaned a bit more and gently put it inside her mouth. She wasn’t sure if it was already making effect, but the idea of his dick growing in her mouth was already enough to make her silently moan. She had him completely engulfed now, with her tongue working earnestly, like her life depended on that slowly growing erection.
After a couple minutes of this, she started slowly bobbing her head up and down, looking him in the eyes every now and then to check how close he was to climax. Surely an orgasm would make him grow a fair bit at once, but if he couldn’t get it on again after that…
-Wow honey, you’re really giving it your all there.
-Hmmm – Was all she could muster, how mouth tightly closed around his girth.
-Shit, I can’t believe how hard I am right now.
At that comment, she moved her head away a bit and watched his dick carefully. It did look bigger than before. Closing her hand around it, she noticed the head now poked entirely out of her enclosing fist.
“That must be a full inch longer! This is actually working!”
With that she gulped him down again with renewed vigor, eating his meat almost feverously, driven by the though of him growing bigger and bigger.
Completely unaware of this development, Simon was completely taken aback by his wife’s aparent lust for cock, something she had never showed before. Not that he’d complain, mind you. But he felt the orgasm building up far and strong.
“Shit, I’m so close, if she were to back up now… no, no, I can’t let that happen. I’m sorry honey, you’re not gonna like this.”
Without saying a word, he put his hands on her head and forced her down his meat hard, forcefully bobbing her head up and down faster than before.
Slightly alarmed, Jane tried to push back, but his new, bigger, cock was making her weak in the knees, so horny that she could barely resist. In fact, she didn’t want to resist, she was enjoying it. She wanted it harder, deeper. And as his orgasm started, she could feel his dick surge longer and thicker, while his sperm was forced into her throat.
-Oh god yes, yes. Take it all. FUCK!
He couldn’t even release, his orgasm so powerful and long that all his muscles felt completely out of his control. All he could feel was an enormous amount of sperm going through his dick and into her with a force he didn’t even now he had.
Manwhile Jane had started fingering herself the momento his sperm started going out, climaxing a few seconds after him and moaning hard on his cock. Such was the effect it had on her.
This lasted for half a minute until he finally let go of her head, panting heavily. They both silently looked at each other, too spent to say a word, too horny to pay attention. His dic kwas still hard as ever and she was already massaging it.
Both could see in each other’s eyes that it had been their best orgasm up to date, and they wanted more.
As son as she had her breath back, Jane took his head in her mout again. His cock was big enough now that she could suck him and jerk him at the same time, something that she hadn’t been able to do when they started dating –much to Simon’s grief-. If she were to take a guess, he was probably six inches now, which put him rightfully into the average category. But that was not near enough. She had tasted the cock, and she wanted much, much more.
Simon on his part was fixated in his wife’s breasts, waiting for something to happen. Fort he first couple of minutes, no change was visible, but son he could she how there was a bit of meat bouncing on her previously flat chest. And a couple of minutes later, actual tits were noticeable on her figure. In fact, they grew to what was easilly a C-cup.
“Holy shit, how much did I come? And she WANTS to get more!”
Jane was so focused on sucking him off that she didn’t notice the new weight on her chest. Sure, when bobbing her head it felt a bit harder to move up and down, but of course that was because there was more dick to cover. And it was still growing. As she licked his head thoroughly, she grabbed him firmly by the base and noticed a few inches were now above her hand. He wasn’t a two-hander yet, but it was getting close.
That’s when SImon noticed.
-Honey? My dick… it looks much bigger than usual.
She moved away from it and looked back at him, her hand still jerking, like an urge she could not control.
-Okay, Simon. Let me be honest here. Your dick is… no, WAS really small, okay? I could barely feel it whenever we fucked, that’s why we haven’t had sex for a while now. I checked online and gfoundsome sort of weird pill. I know this is going to be hard to believe, but that medicines does something to my saliva and now sucking your dick makes it bigger. Please, don’t get angry at me. I really wanted more but didn’t want to be with anybody else than you, so this was my only option left.
Simon almost burst out laughing at the irony of the situation, with the only thing preventing it being the pleasure she was giving him.
-You know what honey? I believe you. And I’m not angry. Really, not at all. I totally get it and I’m 100% okay with this. There’s one thing, though.
-What is it?
-I’m really close to coming again.
-Give it to me, I NEED it!
Her head rushed back to him with such speed that she completely impaled herself on his meat, deepthroathing his now quite big cock right on time for his orgasm to start.
Once again, he came like a firehose, shooting what felt like gallongs of sperm into her welcoming throat. She kept purring and moaning on his cock, which only made him hornier, like she was purposely making him come as much as was humanly possible.
After a few seconds his orgasm subsided. Jane moved her face away from his cock and looked at it. It was really big now. Pornstar levels of big. We was probably closer to 9 inches than 8, and thick as her wrist. What a magnificent cock that was. The fact that she had made it this big made her incredibly horny, she couldn’t stop caressing it like one would caress their own child through more sensually.
Simon looked at her chest impatiently, knowing full well what was about to happen next.
-By the way, honey, there’s one thing I didn’t tell you.
-What is it? – Jane answered without looking back at her husband, still enthralled by his huge dick.
The spell broke, however, once she felt her chest get heavier. Much heavier. She looked down, only to find actual breast of her own, big breasts – and they were gtting even bigger right before her eyes.
As she watched in total awe, her tits grew a full cup quickly, much like wáter balloons inflating. Fort he first time since all this began, she released Simon’s dick just to touch herself, to feel the weight on her new tits. She could feel them slowly expanding under her fingers, pushing them apart in a slow but relentlessly. Soon they had easilly surpased D and doublé D cups, growing as big as cantaloupes. She put her hands under them to feel the weight, massaged them, played with them. They were breasts. They were big, And they were hers.
-This is what I hadn’t told you. I too took some pills and, well. That’s the result.
-You gave me breasts. – She said, still unable to believe he reyes.
-Well… my sperm gave you breasts.
-They’re huge.
-That they are, honey. Huge and beautiful. And they’re yours.
-…
-Are you okay, Jane?
-I fucking LOVE them! I can’t believe I can finally have breasts! Oh god, they’re great, come here, feel them.
With that she took his hands and forced them to her breasts. They were so big he could barely hold them, plenty of flesh overflowing him. THey felt soft but somehow firm, probably firmer than breasts that size should be.
-Look at them, they’re gorgeous. And so firm too, look how high they are in my chest. I could go out without a bra.
-Care to take them for a ride?
-Huh?
His eyes went down to his engorged prick, still standing to attention.
Jane didn’t need any more information.
-Oh… poor guy. I guess two times wasn’t enough for you? You still have more to give? – As she talked, Jane positioned herself so her breasts rested at each side of his cock, engulfing it completely.
-But if you cum again, they’ll grow even more, right?
-Well… yes.
-And If I were to do this… - She spat in her cleavage a few times, making sure to spread it on his dick. – You’ll grow bigger too.
-Uh-uh.
-And  …
She started moving her body up and down painfully slow so her breasts would massage his pole.
–Are we sure we want that? I mean, how big can we get before it’s too much? 
Her voice was soft and sexy now, and it was making him even harder if that was posible.
-Well, uh...
-I mean, I wouldn’t mind you even more hung.
She spat on his dick again. Slowly but surely the head was rising out of her cleavage, making way up like it was searching for her mouth.
– But do you want your wife to have breasts that big?
She grabbed her tits and started giving him a thorough titjob now
-That massive and luscious?
More saliva to the mix.
-That outrageously huge?
She was now going full speed on his cock. Her breasts were bouncing wildly around his meat. He didn’t think it posible, but now he was sure this orgasm would be even stronger than the last two.
-Yes, yes, YES! I want your tits to be absolutely massive.
-Okay then.
His cock was now long enough that she could actually put it her mouth, effectively giving him a blowjob and titjob at the same time. She started slurping and Licking it, for it was now too thick to fit her mouth. But trying only made her hornier. So much so that when she finally managed to put her mouth around the head, she orgasmed instantly, which only resulted in her moving even faster and harder, thus triggering SImon’s own orgasm.
He moaned loudly, his meat’s length surging right into Jane’s mouth, firing his seed right into her again. And this time her growth didn’t wait, as son as his fluidsentered her, her breast quickly grew around his cock, engulfing more of the massive at each passing second, yet unable to geta ll of it at once. They grew and grew, H cups, I cups, bigger than that. They got bigger than her head and started pressing against his stomach, only stopping when they were so big that they completely concealed his lap, overfowing both his legs at the same time.
For a few minutes, they both stared at each other in silence.
None of them could speak a word right now, there was too much, and their bodies were too drained.
She sat down at his side. His cock had finally gone flaccid yeti t was easily 9 inches long with thickness to spare.
Her breast were now bigger than her head, and though still impossibly firm, they hanged down almost to her navel.
They looked at each other, and Jane was the first to talk.
-What a night, huh?
-Yeah…
-Look at how big we are.
-At least certain parts of us are.
-Yes, that’s what I meant.
-I guess that’s it.
-I guess so.
-So, that pill you took, how long do its effects last?
-Oh, that’s forever.
-No, no, I mean on your saliva.
-Around 3 hours. And yours?
-The same.
-The same, huh. What a coincidence.
-Yeah…
-That would mean we both have still some time left.
-Yeah, you’re right.
-Huh-uh.
-…
-…
-Wanna go at it once more?
-Oh god, yes, I was hoping you’d say that!

Revision as of 23:50, 23 June 2020

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Mediation is a process that Noisebridgers can volunteer to try to help resolve disputes with each other. It is not an obligation or requirement and has to be entered into willingly by all concerned for it to have a chance at working.

All relationships take work. This includes community. Community takes work. Occasionally there may be disagreements in any relationship.

The Noisebridge Conflict Resolution wiki page contains general guidance for people in the community who are experiencing problems. These suggestions might help someone who is trying to decide if they should seek mediation or not.

When To Mediate

The first step when there is a disagreement is for the people involved to talk to each other, and, while following Noisebridge's one rule of being excellent to each other, work out the problem(s) together. This tends to clear up almost all disagreements.

If the disagreement can't be worked out together, all persons involved with the disagreement are encouraged to get together with a mediator.

Mediators

Mediators are people who have volunteered their time to help people who have disagreements, to de-escalate conflict, to seek resolution, and to provide community support and protection for all involved. The ideal mediators should strive to make themselves readily accessible to both conflicting parties, and should also enjoy interacting with others without the need for imposing their own wills over those of the other people involved in the particular conflict.

How Mediation Works

The role of the mediator is to calmly talk with those involved to help clear up the disagreements they have with one another. If those involved agree, the mediator can help schedule an informal get-together with the parties involved (or act as go-between, if that is more appropriate). It is the mediators role to ensure that all involved feel safe, feel heard, and are able to say their peace. No one should feel attacked during the mediation get-together. More details on this are given below (please see Specific process for mediators).

In past years, disagreements between people have been resolved through mediation -- even when it appeared to all those involved that the situation was intractable.

Mediation Volunteers

The following people have volunteered to help mediate conflicts and provide a sounding board and guidance for people who are experiencing troublesome interpersonal interactions.

  • Feel free to contact any of the listed people if you would like help in mediating any problems.
  • Also, feel free to ask others to mediate for you, as the volunteers are not an exclusive list.

Noisebridge operates by anarchic chaos, by do-ocracy, and, like all organizations, through a healthy serving of precedent. There are no rules for how this process should work, but we have some suggestions:

The Mediation Process

Mediators can actively mediate a discussion between the individuals having conflict, or talk to one individual as a proxy for the other.

Mindfulness towards Escalation

If it seems appropriate, after talking with the original parties, the mediator (and indeed everyone involved) should start to tactfully ask around and find out if this is an isolated conflict or a more generalized problem in the community. Most personal problems at Noisebridge can be resolved through a series of calm one-on-one talks, and almost all of the rest can be solved by a series of mediated discussions. If mediation is unsuccessful, or if what is going on appears to be part of a larger pattern, the mediator may suggest calling a meeting of the Safe Space Working Group for discussion.

Advocate

Before a problem with an individual is brought to a Safe Space Working Group, someone must step forward to act as an advocate for the individual, even if that individual happens to be widely disliked. It is all too easy for conflict to prod people into acting in ways that they later regret. There are sufficient people around the Space who are willing to act as advocates (see above list of mediator volunteers on this wiki page).


Discussing personal conflicts at the larger group level is not really considered all that excellent. On the other hand, a small supportive group environment more specifically committed to calm discussion and de-escalation can help defuse a problematic situation. Mediation and the Safe Space Working Group are resources available for use when needed.

If you try to follow these suggestions, that would be totally excellent.

Process for Mediators

First, talk to the person(s) who asked you to mediate to find out more about the conflict.

Next step is to either calmly discuss the issue with the second party as a proxy or to enter a calm, mediated discussion between the two individuals in conflict.

Mediated discussion between individuals can be casual or very structured, depending on the tenor of the disagreement. One method that works in extreme cases is to sit down with both parties but ask them to only speak to you, not to each other, during the first part of the mediation. This helps each party to feel like their version of events is being heard. After you feel like you have both sides of the story, the conflicting parties should spend some time mirroring each other's feelings - in a structured way, taking turns restating the other person's concerns or position in their own words. Only after this point should the conflicting parties move towards actual dialogue.

At this point, also, it is important that mediators take some time outside of this process to tactfully ask around and find out if this is an isolated conflict or a more generalized problem in the community.

If this mediation is not successful, not embraced by one of the conflicting parties, or is partially successful but the mediator's research indicates that this may be part of a pattern of behavior, the mediator is encouraged to ensure there is an advocate for everyone involved, and to call for a Safe Space Working Group to discuss the issues.

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