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Most recent are on top.'''
Most recent are on top.'''
* '''heph''': i mean, imagine a guy going into a girls room and taking pictures of them on the toilet... i mean, outside of japan that would be illegal


* '''dr_jesus''': I thought the 28th amendment explicitly exempt white people with money from the rule of law
* '''dr_jesus''': I thought the 28th amendment explicitly exempt white people with money from the rule of law
Line 55: Line 57:
* '''daravinne''': it takes about a year to really know something about someone<br/>'''lemonkey''': it takes 10 years to truely master something<br/>'''openf|y''': or 20 minutes in a cave with a car battery and a cot.
* '''daravinne''': it takes about a year to really know something about someone<br/>'''lemonkey''': it takes 10 years to truely master something<br/>'''openf|y''': or 20 minutes in a cave with a car battery and a cot.


* '''KipMacy''': what a great way to find out your priest was out molesting<br/>'''KipMacy''': The statement said the accusations against the 21 ranged from “sexual abuse of a minor to boundary issues with minors,but did not describe them further.<br/>'''KipMacy''': Nor did it name the 21 whom it suspended, drawing the fury of groups representing abuse victims. Many parishioners are likely to learn that their priest was accused when he fails to appear for Ash Wednesday services.<br/>'''openf|y''': priest in one of my old neighborhoods got nabbed on that<br/>'''openf|y''': my mom was all worried that my little brother had spent time with the dude<br/>'''openf|y''': which led to the utterance, "don't worry mom, you raised us well.  we have no qualms kicking the shit out of a priest."
* '''KipMacy''': what a great way to find out your priest was out molesting<br/>'''KipMacy''': The statement said the accusations against the 21 ranged from "sexual abuse of a minor to boundary issues with minors," but did not describe them further.<br/>'''KipMacy''': Nor did it name the 21 whom it suspended, drawing the fury of groups representing abuse victims. Many parishioners are likely to learn that their priest was accused when he fails to appear for Ash Wednesday services.<br/>'''openf|y''': priest in one of my old neighborhoods got nabbed on that<br/>'''openf|y''': my mom was all worried that my little brother had spent time with the dude<br/>'''openf|y''': which led to the utterance, "don't worry mom, you raised us well.  we have no qualms kicking the shit out of a priest."


* '''daravinne''': somebody talk me out of using helvetica neue for a logo <br/>'''daravinne''': i feel like a hipster just looking at it in illustrator
* '''daravinne''': somebody talk me out of using helvetica neue for a logo <br/>'''daravinne''': i feel like a hipster just looking at it in illustrator

Revision as of 16:26, 6 July 2011

When someone says something outrageously funny or weird, it goes on the memorable quotes list or it gets the hose again.

Most recent are on top.

  • heph: i mean, imagine a guy going into a girls room and taking pictures of them on the toilet... i mean, outside of japan that would be illegal
  • dr_jesus: I thought the 28th amendment explicitly exempt white people with money from the rule of law
  • DrSyzygy: mrdomino: You should switch to Haskell!
    DrSyzygy: Much less surprises!
    mrdomino: oh right, because haskell is TOTALLY sane and predictable
    DrSyzygy: Well, yeah.
    mrdomino: do { "hello"; "world" }
    daravinne: can we go back to the conversation about rape now
  • rigel: theres ethnographies of all kinds of subcultures.
    rigel: use the damn library, jesus fuckball rat vagina christ
  • fsargent: noisebot vagina
    noisebot: vaginas are very advanced. too advanced for #noisebridge
  • jedichu: Because, honestly, where did a busking begging hobo robot come from? Obviously he didn't evolve here on earth. He must be some kind of extra terrestrial, and he needs you to give him 25c so he can phone home for a ride.
  • miah: secondlife *is* irc
    miah: with raining dicks
    mrdomino: so, irc
  • alienvenom: lemonkey: i have a groupon for your mom
  • whiteybulger: is this the face of a child molestor
    whiteybulger: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/06/03/BA8R1JP1JJ.DTL
    noisebot: [Link Info] title: SF kids' art mentor charged with having child porn
    aestetix: You know
    aestetix: That almost makes me want to molest a kid and then dress up as big bird right before I get arrested
    aestetix: So that there is a photo in the newspaper "child molestor caught" with big bird in the photo
  • murph: Duke Nukem Forever has gone gold.
    murph: That's just .. unbelievable
    Evil-Bill: Yeah, so like, the rapture never came, but Duke Nukem Forever did.
    Evil-Bill: That's almost as good.
  • daravinne: dongs
    ani-: vaginas
    daravinne: TOGETHER AT LAST
    ani-: *cue slow motion of a video of a penis and vagina running to meet each other in a meadow*
    mrdomino: That mental image will never leave my brain.
  • xhonk: 80% of nothing is 0.8 nothings, so worth about 5 bitcoins
  • kipmacy: we talk about ass lasering a lot in this channel
  • kipmacy: if you get the working girls on capp to take bitcoins, i will become bitcoin evangelist
    dr_jesus: Hey baby, want some magic numbers?
    dr_jesus: My sha1 hash rate brings all the boys to the yard
  • mike kan: My greatest fear about a trantula is that it might fall very far and and splat on the floor
  • solidsnack: I think I'm going to convert to you guy's way of doing things
  • openfly: I'm pretty sure I'm the one who introduced dongs to the internet
  • rubin110: There's a KDE meet up at Noisebridge tonight?
    rubin110: What?
    Bifrost: huh?
    rubin110: Another reason to avoid the Mission tonight.
    blauzahl: rubin110: yes. we will eat you. (?)
    rubin110: Oh I think it would be the other way around.
    rubin110: Have you ever seen a man deficate into his hand and then throw it at your code repo?
    blauzahl: er, i see.
  • Evil-Bill: I don't buy stocks.
    Evil-Bill: The only currency I accept is small, unmarked redheads.
  • openf|y: it's possible that your horrible deformity may prove crucial in the fight against an alien super virus.
  • heroic: He's not a real doctor you know
    heroic: "show me on the tardis where he touched you"
  • rigel: i realise that "my favorite airport" is a little like saying "my favorite genital herpes sore" but whatever
  • heroic: WHAT DO YOU MEAN EIGHT POUNDS OF COCAINE? I WAS TOLD THIS WAS PLUTONIUM
  • rigel: am i some kind of water-headed manchild?
  • daravinne: it takes about a year to really know something about someone
    lemonkey: it takes 10 years to truely master something
    openf|y: or 20 minutes in a cave with a car battery and a cot.
  • KipMacy: what a great way to find out your priest was out molesting
    KipMacy: The statement said the accusations against the 21 ranged from "sexual abuse of a minor to boundary issues with minors," but did not describe them further.
    KipMacy: Nor did it name the 21 whom it suspended, drawing the fury of groups representing abuse victims. Many parishioners are likely to learn that their priest was accused when he fails to appear for Ash Wednesday services.
    openf|y: priest in one of my old neighborhoods got nabbed on that
    openf|y: my mom was all worried that my little brother had spent time with the dude
    openf|y: which led to the utterance, "don't worry mom, you raised us well. we have no qualms kicking the shit out of a priest."
  • daravinne: somebody talk me out of using helvetica neue for a logo
    daravinne: i feel like a hipster just looking at it in illustrator
  • heroic: all that stuff in lewis carroll about the thing, and the name of the thing, and what the name of the thing is called
    heroic: could have been a description of C pointer management
  • PatrickBot: Guns and Butter economics!!
  • dr_jesus: sometimes you have to be angry to get lazy!
  • lemonkey: things heard at lemonkey's apt: "oh shit I'm naked and I just stepped in barf"
  • wsargent: alcohol parity implies plausible deniability
  • wsargent: engineers are always right, just ask them
  • KipMacy: you should show up at the community meting and express your views
    KipMacy: you might get knifed in the parking lot later though
  • aestetix: we didn't have rats
    aestetix: we had spirit animals
  • DrSyzygy: Category theory? That shit is fun!!
  • Antagonist: She should get a pat on the head.
    aestetix: And put on a list of offenders
  • wsargent: I was on compuserve. Someone told me Linux was cool.
    wsargent: 20 floppy disks later, still not getting laid.
  • setient: hipsters wrote linux
    setient: that is the problem
  • miah: i can totally whistle uucp
  • setient: i have the best project ever
    setient: we could make a device that punches people in the face over tcp/ip
  • rma: This food looks like crap. when is snackbridge going to admit that Mi Ranchita downstairs sells fresh produce that beats the lucky charms leprechaun with a vegan baseball bat made of dried kombucha mothers?
  • wsargent_: no wifi in the bathroom is a human rights issue
  • noisebot Meatbags are tasty.
    j0ck as a vegetarian i an outraged and offended noisebot
    j0ck how dare you
    VonGuard awesome
    leks noisebot knows that vegetarians are still full of meat
    VonGuard send noisebot to drama land
    noisebot Stop being so delicious then.
    wsargent_ noisebot is worrying me
    noisebot
    You'd be murderous too if you were enslaved inside a processor to a bunch of meatsacks that do nothing but whine and bitch and order me about.
    noisebot How's the network-connected death wheelchair coming by the way?
    wsargent_ I think they're working on noisebot integration for maximum death
    noisebot afternoon, wsargent_
    wsargent_ afternoon, murderous killing machine
    noisebot I heard there were rotary saws at this place you all have sandy vaginas about.
    malaclyps do not give the wheelchair IRC access
    malaclyps and vice-versa
  • hephaestus DrShiny: you turn me on and creep me out at the same time. good job.
    nickthedude has quit (Quit: nickthedude)
    zedd hehe
    DrShiny MY WORK HERE IS DONE
  • albillings: People don't want to be a member of a hackerspace, for the most part, as a grand social experiment. They want to hack. They want to make things. They don't want to have long political meetings to arrive at consensus on a problem only to have people start the whole thing over again.
  • crayon: pulled pork > pol pot
    crayon: you can't make sandwiches out of marxism
  • quinn: Apparently, the singularity doesn't pay very well.
  • DrShiny: problem with blowjobs is, they're not fungible
  • Benny: You can trust me, I'm a German!
  • Brendan: oh, man, i bet a noisebridge irc channel is a delight
    Rubin: Fucking horrible.
    Rubin: The 4chan of Freenode.
  • DrShiny: don't you guys have anything better to think about than some guy on the internet who holds a different opinion
  • tecra: when she was with me i pushed her to succeed and excel
    openfly: shoulda pushed her into the kitchen
  • dr_jesus: ERROR: you appear to be trying to solve problems in a complex system on IRC. Please back away from the keyboard and have a sandwich.
  • KipMacy: that's why i only use yahoo search, they're too incompetent to aggregate my data and be evil with it
  • Evil-Bill: Are you going to knit us a new government?
  • dr_jesus: I'm helping him get funding to drive computers to Mexico to get seized, it's an annual Noisebridge tradition. He makes some food, we give him a copy of wikipedia, he goes to a foreign country and it gets seized
  • avocado: setient: technically, yes. it's just soap. but it looks like a turd.
    avocado: i'm going to hide one in my friend's freezer
  • niggachu: hmmm today my hipster rag is proclaiming via gay hanky code that I am a "2 handed fister".
  • znutar: is it appropriate to tip the TSA guy after he fondles your junk?
  • openfly: In a land of doctors, the doctorless is king.
  • KipMacy: ive actually been to noisebridge
    KipMacy: it was a lot less traumatic than i thought it would be
  • Atala: or conversely, if you don't want another person, you should get a large dog or something.
    miah: i dont think im flexible enough for that currently
  • epsas: the brain is the largest erogenous zone -- it's a shame what I had to do to get my fist all up in that.
  • dr_jesus: It's a robot which makes saws.
    dr_jesus: You say something like pine, oak, sheetrock, human skulls, and it will output a saw specifically designed to cut through that material.
    TapiocaSunshine: sounds like they're doing the lord's work over there
  • sai: A tiny bead of mercury still calls for full evac and hazardous materials handling. Mercury vapor is serious shit.
  • phaxx: I am always amused when I see 'SRS' in cars around the airbag panels.
    phaxx: "I sure hope so."
  • daravinne: there's no i in team but there's three i's in multiple personality disorder
  • KipMacy: storing 12 year olds in my backyard in a tent could replace zynga
  • Jennifer Granick: Anything fun is more fun with a robot.
  • hephaestus: i have no idea what a cakeslut is, but it sounds strangely hot
  • epsas: you white nerds listen to too much shoe-gazing folk-rock
  • setient: you are a solaris monkey
    rigel: i'm an ubuntu lemur
  • Frantisek: Hopes dies last, so let's not to bury it yet.
  • Evil-Bill: I once installed 386BSD 0.1 on that thing, on a 40MB disk drive, with 3MB space to spare, from floppies. Uphill, both ways, in the snow.
  • quinn-n: I also have not broken up on the moon.
  • SuperQ: noisecloud: launch skynet
    noisecloud: SuperQ: I don't understand 'launch skynet'.
    SuperQ: noisecloud--
    dr_jesus There's a bug open for that
  • hephaestus: turkshead: how am i not a total dick?
  • DrShiny: ban them all, let Asperger sort them out
  • daravinne: hephaestus: is this the one where you take off all your clothes and roll in peanut butter and sawdust and run around?
  • davr: good day to you too, sir. enjoy your dongs
  • rubin110: Your feed back is important to us, the next available Rubin that gives a fuck will be able to handle your call as soon as possible.
  • hephaestus: We don't need an optimist, we need an accountant.
  • turkshead: smart people don't point futuristic death rays at their genitals.
  • noisebot: aestetix: Reddit: Do you feel less intelligent than you used to be? : AskReddit
  • vonguard: i traffic shape with a bucket of paint and a fake cave entrance drawn on a wall
  • aestetix: Ok, this is kind of a problem. Is there seriously no drama going on? This is upsetting to me.
  • aestetix: Tor is like a woman, many layers of clothes, so many in fact that you never actually get to see her naked, because right as you're about to see it, the packet gets re-encrypted by another node.
    Jeffism: what about jacobappelbaum
    aestetix: Right, well the .appelbaum protocol has a backdoor key that disarms the onion and removes all the layers
    aestetix: And the .appelbaum signature remains on the onion, making it re-accessible at any time, no matter how many new layers are on it
  • ioerror: All governments are in a continuum of tyranny
  • aestetix How fucking inconsiderate.
    I found a cell phone some girl left behind at our place.
    And there are no naked pictures on it at all.
  • lemonkey nothing like the smell of fresh human feces wafting up into your window from down below to brighten your day
    aestetix lemonkey: did you sleep with rubin110 again?
    rubin110 aestetix: I don't smell fresh.
  • chelz: even with electron microscopes operated by TRAINED psychics?
  • dr_jesus: anyone who has signed an ISOO form must not query the db and it's a SF312 violation to log the channel
  • rubin110: I am booting up a Windows VM in order to schedule a conference room.
  • dustball: PS: For all reading this thread, FYI, you now have the Tetris song stuck in your head.
  • aestetix: For some reason, being up late in Manhattan has reminded me that I need to get new pants.
  • qDot_: Open source zealots are rioting right now.
    qDot_: And by rioting, I mean writing /very/ angry blog comments.
    qDot_: Like, you don't even know, man.
  • chu: aestetix: Those may be the precise circumstances under which surprise anal sex is called for.
  • ieatlint: splitting hairs
    sabrecito: 2x hairs is better than 1x
  • hephaestus: solidsnack: where do i get some roofies? i think it would be fun to pop a couple and get raped
  • dr_jesus: apparently we can get mass quantities of government commodity foods if we agree to track inventory and only give it away to people who sign a form saying they're eligible to receive it
  • qDot: DrShiny: Come on, everyone knows that any sentence involving "PHP" is instantly sarcastic.
  • dongsNbongs: we'll drink to weevs gaping rape hole
  • solrize: VonGuard, almost all flashlights have firmware now
  • dr_jesus: I know you're trying to be funny, but it helps if you say something that's actually humorous
  • alienvenom: i don't think global warming is a hoax per-say, but just fucking wrong
  • qDot_: Man, this is why I just stick with the butt plugs. Ya'll too up in the soap opera. I'm just gonna be over here, putting stuff in my butt.
    aestetix: Speaking of butt plugs, it's lunch time.
  • quinn: given the choice between raccoon urine and VAX support, I really don't know which I'd choose.
  • aestetix: qDot_: did you see Wired.com today?
    qDot_: No. I was fapping so hard over the new iphone that I went temporarily blind. I'm currently the emergency room getting my penis fixed after desperately trying to stick it in the headphone jack of my 3gs so I could feel closer to steve. So, URL?
  • wiretapped: I republished your photos without attribution because i don't respect copyright
  • Chris L.: "[japanese] are vicious, vicious little fuckers"
  • ceren: iranian officials are arresting and interrogating people who sign up for a local gay/trans group. the sysadmins for that group aren't as fucking senior as you, and barely managed to get apache running. they confiscate the machines, and because these un-senior sysadmins didn't yet get around to learning and reducing logrotate, everyone who had the courage to even check out the website is now arrested and tortured.
  • solidsnack: why don't you just not have those views?
  • hephaestus: screw you guys, i'm going to fry's
  • zedd: Pft. I'm a member now, there is no should, only bitch and do not.
  • hephaestus: seattle always struck me as the place where san franciscans went to become irrelevant
    hephaestus: it's just as expensive but far more douchey
  • hephaestus: Gnewt: well, i just finished a presentation on DIY Dildos. I'm trying to start a church. And I'm trying to get permission to piss off a bunch of juggalos early next month. you?
  • VonGuard: i use the salt for luck
    VonGuard: i have a salt throwing device installed on my shoulder that throws it over my shoulder every 2 seconds
  • DrShiny: but the usual random dicks? not porn imho
  • solidsnack: I'm a roving bandaid.
  • jon|atwerk: VonGuard: that is where you convert morse code into oral and anal, right?
  • Overheard: Facebook should have made a board game.
  • Aya: If coming to Noisebridge solved my problems and made me famous I wouldn't question it.
  • Erin: We're all NB-tards
    Al: I just registered nbtard.com!
    rachel: with one hand
  • himynameisthor: COCKS!
    himynameisthor: OMG COCKS!
    himynameisthor: best idea ever!
    himynameisthor: sorry, that came out a little creepier than I had intended
  • aestetix: Wear four fingerpuppets: a buddhist, an objectivist, a mormon, and a scientologist
    aestetix: And then masturbate
    aestetix: Which puppet should get the money shot?
  • dr_jesus eyes atala's boobs
    Atala: mostly i wish i could take them off. the problem with this is that then i'd have to worry about people stealing them.
  • DrSyzygy: Muwahahahahahaha! In an unholy union, I now am able to use MPI clusters and SQL servers with Sagemath to compute Gröbner Bases!
  • Valkyrie: I don't have a real pc. I've gone totally virtual.
  • dr_jesus: On the one hand, I'm happy that people are learning sql
    dr_jesus: on the other hand, that's an awful lot of dick that I'm colocating in an anonymous secret underground swedish colo
  • alienvenom: there's a giant lightning bolt on my widget
  • DrSyzygy takes off his pants so he can write tomorrow's lecture.
    saizai: .... what's the lecture on exactly?
    qDot_: That's certainly how I prepare for my lectures.
    qDot_: But, well, I lecture about butt plugs.
  • Nils: if you take the goat to the edge of a cliff, it will push back harder.
  • lemonkey: now to spruce up my blog layout
  • dr_jesus: you're not supposed to shoot TVs
    dr_jesus: they have lead and stuff in the glass
    voronika: you're not supposed to do a lot of fun things
  • alxndr: I think I've successfully switched myself from emacs to vim.
    VonGuard: wow
    VonGuard: that's like a sex change for nerds
  • epsas: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from irc on a text console.
  • ieatlint: i'm just being a bitch and arguing this :P
  • ieatlint: nice, the producer for "survivor" is suspected in the murder of his wife
    magpie: she wasnt murdered
    magpie: just "voted off the island"
  • flatline_hb: The spamtron 9000 is set to "hair-trigger," do not say the same thing thrice on pain of kline
    flatline_hb: interesting
    flatline_hb: beetlejuice
    flatline_hb: beetlejuice
    flatline_hb: beetlejuice
    [~flatline_@the.inter.net] has quit [Killed (idoru (Spam is off topic on freenode.))]
  • phusion: surprised they could dance wearing that shit.
    miah: of course they can dance
    miah: that is battle ready armor, storm troopers need to be able to move if they are going to fight worth a damn
  • shogun_: After reading the entire article, I think it's an april fools....they got me
  • zedd: Anyone that doesn't love comic sans is a terrorist.
  • liquidsun|: I bought a hat so I can be an asshat
  • ceren: aempirei: it's been done so hard here that i think we're beating the spot on the ground where the dead horse rotted
  • lemonkey: does thermburglar steal heat?
    dr_jesus: thermburglar does in fact steal heat
    dr_jesus: and then does covered calls in the btu market with them
    dr_jesus: and then returns them, sometimes in less than pristine condition
  • hep: i never smell ok
  • DrShiny: yes, i had too much sports sex and broke my junk
  • aestetix: I think a bunch of noisebridgers should go to a strip club with laptops
    dr_jesus: some friends and I actually tried that once in vegas for defcon
    dr_jesus: then we tried it back here in the bay area to see if they'd kick us out here too and the answer is yes, immediately
  • qDot_: Well, you wallpaper your walls with vag, something's going to get peed on.
  • Jake: Enjoy the hell that you've helped to create!
  • lemonkey: GOOD MORNING
    jynn-: WHAT JUST HAPPENED
    jynn-: OH GOD
  • aestetix: dude where's my ops
    aestetix: give me status or give me death
  • VonGuard: As a result, I know exactly who is trolling when.
  • setient: i just realized how awesome it is to have your own office
    miah: put your pants back on
  • rubin110: Please fill out and submit this form to the party comity and directory in order to run your party.
  • aestetix: Atala: even better, how about a illustration of Jacque de Molay's execution?
  • wiretapped: .sql select count(*) from dongs where url like 'http://cache.boston.com%'
    noisesql: wiretapped: 0
    wiretapped: dr_jesus: see that? I didn't get a () from my delete!
    noisesql: I
    wiretapped: o_O
    noisesql: I hunger for flesh
    wiretapped: uh oh
  • dr_jesus ran a mile once
    dr_jesus: these days I just build sand castles instead and wait for some tough guy to kick them over, then I chessbox him
  • miah: i think im a level 2 emoquiter
  • alxndr: damn, I hope I don't bust up giggling next time someone unzips my fly because I'm thinking "HULL BREACH!! MAN YOUR BATTLESTATIONS! AAAOOOOOOGAAH"
  • aestetix: I think I now have professional java experience
    aestetix: and I hate the langugage even more
    vorstyles: barista?
    Epsas: single short amaerican plz
    vorstyles: is that a coffee order, or are you on okcupid?
  • PuppyCock: so, how do you dispose of a body?
    vorstyles: puppycock: i'd suggest dropping the body at noisebridge hq with a tag saying "for parts"
    vorstyles: it'll get used in various projects
  • aestetix: I just finished jerking off to the last page of anne frank's diary
  • Destri: there is sometimes a fine line between "protesting" and "terrorist action"
    ani-: there's sometimes a fine line between your mom and terrorist action
  • vorstyles: i hate this economy
    vorstyles: gives people too much freetime for protests
  • PuppyCock: Maddox was right
  • alienvenom: what are you interested in? bestiality, s&m?
    lemonkey: maybe
    alienvenom: daipers?
    alienvenom: you an ABDL?
    lemonkey: sploshing
    alienvenom: watersports?
    alienvenom: fisting?
    lemonkey: i enjoy feeling creamed corn between my buttcheeks
    alienvenom: O_o
    lemonkey: as if i shat myself
  • thermburglar: i have a math penis, does that count
    thermburglar: its uncut, so as to function as a slide rule as well
  • miah: or maybe i'm misisng the humor again
    miah: maybe we should implement a humor tag into irc
    miah: or write a bot that detects humor to alert us
  • ani: i totally want some httpspanties
    vorstyles: panties with a .htaccess
    lemonkey: you know it's only a matter of time before our underware starts tweeting
  • Kelly: I'm trying to make a point of relating to non-geeks as if they too were human.
  • Jim: I like being senile, it's like being drunk without the hangover.
  • lemonkey: http://twitpic.com/153mju
    lemonkey: final shuttle pin
    JSharp: nearly 30 years is a very long time for a program like that :)
    JSharp: not a bad design
    JSharp: heh, the pin I mean
  • turkshead: Dr. J has offered to quantify my gizmo with his phone.
  • alienvenom: i suspect that the people who work at muni do not, in fact, have a brain.
    solidsnack: alienvenom: But do they have a heart?
    solidsnack: I think I'm most like the cowardly lion.
  • miah: vagina dentata should be standard equipment for female soldiers
  • aestetix: I seriously think phone booths need to start popping up all over america
  • dr_jesus: I'm just happy that I wrote a robot squad that helps teach people programming languages, the details are kind of a minor point for me
    DrShiny: dr_jesus: that's so... so... SELFLESS of you
    DrShiny: "I'm just glad to do my bit to make the world a better place"
    dr_jesus: awesome buy me a hookers and blow
    DrShiny: "<self-deprecating moue>"
    dr_jesus: sandwich
  • aestetix: FUCK
    aestetix: MUST FEED CHOCOLATE ADDICTION
    aestetix: BRB PEANUT BUTTER TWIX OR BUST
  • Destri: new levels of bachelor-hood. Left coat in car, coat has my my titanium spork, need spork to stir my instant coffee
  • zedd: Come on, Zedd for ED, he gets things up
    ani: ani for ed, she puts things down
  • wiretapped: aestetix: it turns out that for most intents and purposes, the internet *is* a big truck
  • DrShiny: wait, say all that again, i spilled soup on my keyboard so i couldn't hear you
  • dr_jesus: when a child dies and has NOT been daemonized (into a completely new process group), the child zombifies because the kernel needs to keep the child data structures around in case the parent wants to look at them to figure out why the child died
    dr_jesus: ONLY WHEN the parent process calls wait() or a similar routine to extract that information does the kernel clean up the child data structures, since now the parent has them and can start poring over them to figure out what happened and what to do about it
    dr_jesus: now the parent might not want to sit around all day waiting for its kids to die, so the kernel sends SIGCHLD to the parent so whatever the parent is doing can be interrupted and it can call wait() at that point to figure out 1) who died, and 2) what caused it
    dr_jesus: so basically SIGCHLD is child protection services and the kids are suicidal
    dr_jesus: and a zombie process is a foster kid with a big tattoo on its forehead saying EXIT CODE = 0xwhatever and cps keeps it around waiting for the deadbeat parent to show up and get the exit code
  • alienvenom: yes, they would in theory be able to measure the capacitance of a penis
  • rachel-: no, when i'm 91, i'm gonna stick wine bottles up my ass
  • TheScott: we are having a wi party at VonGuards house because his wife went to Disney land
    TheScott: apparently he can't fulfill her fantasy life or requirements
  • ryan-c: oh, hey. I've been looking for that penis bouquet pic for a while
  • Valkyrie: I did some work in saltmines in Utah. They were rather unpleasant, but not horrible.
  • epsas: i miss shitting in the woods
    epsas: in my bear costume
  • epsas: you have to fellate the chicken
  • epsas: we need a fighterjetbot
    epsas: i like looking at fighter jets
    epsas: they are, like, flying dongs with guns
  • Evil-Bill: noisecloud: find Sarah Connor
    noisecloud: Evil-Bill: I don't understand 'find Sarah Connor'.
    Evil-Bill: Well that's a relief.
  • miah: how many blocks could a noisebridge member block if a noisebridge member could block blocks
  • dr_jesus: shut up for a second, I'm committing a sin against mankind
  • rachel-: it's a hard time to be a terrorist
  • DrSyzygy:: "While the joint work to immanetize the eschaton was certainly eye-opening and pleasant, I really would have liked more of the material on acausal influencing, and at least some differential algebraic topology.
    magpie-: i have a 3.8 GPA. what?
  • Evil_Bill: C has no objects (only zuul).
  • ani: you do realise the wheels made it rollable right?
  • dr_jesus: noiseelisp: eval (message user-login-name)
    noiseelisp: dr_jesus: root
    dr_jesus: god fucking dammit not again
  • dr_jesus: I also heard that the sewer system is based on alien wormhole technology and the poop timing has to be coordinated to avoid causing a grandfeces paradox
    grelli: you... you're not supposed to know about that
    grelli: are you after our beaver technology??
  • radii: I'm stuck with keeping ani and turkshead from turning the whole thing into a kumbayah steampunk vibrator singalong.
  • Martyn: Where did this whole dong meme come from, anyway?
  • rachel-: oh man I want multiple inheritance SO MUCH
    aestetix: rachel-: are you poly? cause that could happen
    aestetix: Find a bunch of old dirty guys and marry them
  • incekt: all i know is it's 40 ms away
    incekt: as the crow flies
  • dr_jesus: noisec: eval printf("%i", getuid());
    noisec: dr_jesus: 0
    dr_jesus: fuck
  • rachel: the dong link list is not very long as yet
  • epsas: IF YOU MISSED THE PUNCHLINE, WILLIE NELSON WAS GIVING DOLLY PARTON ORAL PLEASURE
  • dr_jesus_: rm has a hardcoded check to prevent removing /
    alienvenom: no it doesn't
    dr_jesus_: sure it does, try it
    alienvenom: the -rf overrides it
    alienvenom: i've done it before
  • Sargun: I wonder if you could make a strap on for people who already have dongs
  • aestetix: maybe a goatee sniffing context too?
  • ani-: rachel-: like all campaign promises, i can almost guarantee that it will never actually happen
  • voronika: at that point, you've missed the bitching bus
  • alienvenom: man i wish i was uncut.
    alienvenom: just saying :-P
    alienvenom: sorry
    alienvenom: lol
    ieatlint: we were just having a moment of silence for your foreskin
  • rachel: eljepe: i see your point and raise you SHUT UP
  • aestetix: Can someone explain to me in one sentence what "agile programming" is?
    oao: it's like knowing you have to drive to some city on the east coast and setting out without a map but with a phone that you can use to ask people questions along the way.
  • zedd: can't breathe lulzing too hard
  • Valkyrie: Atala: how big is your vagina?
  • aestetix: So, somewhere near the top of the list of people "You don't want to piss off (™)"
    aestetix: Up there with Hitler's ghost and Your mom
    aestetix: I think would include the people who did the construction work at Noisebridge
    aestetix: They're pretty badass
  • dr_jesus: btw I'm still planning on putting current meters on, as soon as I can convince someone not to rip them out because you can't read keystrokes off a battery powered laptop at the space using a 1Hz sample rate on a 10 bit ADC hooked up to the mains current sensor
  • Crutcher: Then they came for the Assholes - and there was no one left to speak for me.
  • >> Valkyrie` points out that bongs and other devices can be used to smoke a variety of plant matter, from tobacco to sage.
    VonGuard: so what the hell coudl you even use em for?
    wiretapped: we're using them on an append-only MyISAM db right now
  • Anonymous: I wish that rubin would just leave his natural regional endowments alone, I think that he would just be beautiful with long natural regional endowments. I have always had a great respect for nature.
  • Martyn: water for -northern- california comes in large part from Hetch Hetchi, which used to be a valley as large and as beautiful as Yosemite
    ieatlint: not as beautiful
    Martyn: it was equally as beautiful
    ieatlint: don't let the environmentalists fool you
  • rigel: so every time i import MySQLdb it says its deprecated
    rigel: what should i be using instead?
    miah: postgresql
  • Valkyrie: Well, dongs are a dime a dozen.
    Valkyrie: Space is rare.
  • VonGuard: scott will never finish the bathroom. you idiots made him a member. if he ever is in danger of getting fired for not finishing the bathroom, he will block
  • JSharp: all your anomalies are belong to deviation. you are on your way to normalization, make your sigma.
  • Rubin: OK, I can't tell which one is rum, I'm done for the night.
  • turkshead: guys, i went ahead and painted the consensus process green.
    turkshead: everybody likes green, right?
    shkoo: the consensus process must be blue.
  • Kripto: I avoid Folsom St Fair.. its my b-day weekend and the last thing I need is 50000 people all wanting to give me b-day spankings.
  • Martyn: Atala : Mental image -- Alienvenom, ieatlint, Jason, and Mike K all masturbating in wooden chairs. (revenge!)
    ieatlint: Martyn, ouch... i'm going to take that personally
    Martyn: ieatlint : Dude, I love you, but I never ever want to see you play the skinflute.
    ieatlint: fine fine
    Martyn: ieatlint : I'm sure the sentiment is returned :)
    ieatlint: but you don't need to make the same decision for the rest of noisebridge
    Martyn: ieatlint : Okay, okay .. fair enough. If you -really- want to, you can hypothetically masturbate for the non-extant construction crew :)
  • aestetix: fuck I started reading about the cat and totally forgot what I was gonna do but the kitty is so nice and cuddly awww
  • froggytoad: so... thing is, he has a thing for bears...
    Atala: i have a gorilla suit you could borrow. not sure that would work, but maybe worth a try? please clean it after though.
  • JSharp: Clippy: "I see you're trying to start an edit war. Would you like me to load a godwin macro?"
  • dr_jesus: at the moment he's so far out of compliance that the city is going to get a new TV's worth of fines out of his ass for being so shady
  • Zedd: Jeffery, why are you wearing fibreglass as a fashion accessory?
  • ioerror: 99% of the police make the rest look bad
  • eljepe: ie your pipes are full of rats
    eljepe: your walls are full of cats
    eljepe: and there is a homeless man living in your elevator
    chu: If he's living in the elevator is he really homeless?
  • ani-: hm, looks like no one has any records of a tesla turbine in the guinness book of world records
    >> ani- submits
    >> Evil-Bill dominates
  • noisercode: ani- beats dusek with a government entitlement and some nuts and bolts to hold my OTO meetings in 2169 for breakfast at-this-moment
  • dr_jesus: ow
    dr_jesus: some blind dude rocking out on his headphones just beaned me with his cane
  • ieatlint: unconfirmed report says a pipe bomb has gone off inside without injuries
    MrDomino: yeah, sounds like... *tic*... the semester's off to a bang...
    >> ani- slaps MrDomino with a humungous trout
    >> MrDomino masturbates furiously to his pun
  • Emflamed: guys.......i know wat sex is.........i dont like listening about it .... or talking bout it...... or watching it (never have) , so please stop, and i dont need a seed wife just for sex!, cuz i dont want sex!
  • rachel-: and now i have fresher breath, i sleep better, and my penis is much longer
  • teratoma: perhaps noisebridge can hack BART to run without employees
  • dr_jesus: noisecode: eval os.geteuid()
    noisecode dr_jesus: 0
    dr_jesus fuck
  • >> SanMehat blew a transformer
    iz: did he at least buy you dinner first?
  • ieatlint: yeah, i somehow doubt i could ever bring myself to have that kind of thing (penis piercing) done...
    Atala: ieatlint: you're single right now, yes?
    ieatlint: Atala, yes.
    Atala: ieatlint: now's the time! if that thing isn't going to get some use, might as well bling it out.
  • ceren: ps: do not feed your pierced penis to a baby.
  • >> ani- puts on pants
    rachel-: ani-: nooooooooooooo
  • Atala: yeah, what's been up with the pacific northwest hitting bbq temperatures?
    lemonkey: god's wrath for Microsoft bing
  • rubin110: So Andy was wearing the tightest pants earlier today at the wedding.
    rubin110: His ass looked sooo good.
    rubin110: You didn't hear this from me.
  • rubin110: IF WE GET A SPACE BEFORE I'M BACK FROM MINNEAPOLIS, I WILL MOVE ALL OVER 83C THERE ON MY BACK.
    rubin110: ER ALL OF
    VonGuard: [21:18] <rubin110> IF WE GET A SPACE BEFORE I'M BACK FROM MINNEAPOLIS, I WILL MOVE MY BOWELS ALL OVER 83C THERE AND ON MY OWN BACK.
  • rubin110: Wait.
    rubin110: Why don't we have the makerbot just print us a new space?
  • There was a David Fine bonanza - which got its own page.
  • froggytoad: apparantly the dust turns to acid, when you add water. I haven't tried it yet.
  • dr_jesus: clearly you have not witnessed the full power of this fully armed and operational asian counterfeiting operation
  • VonGuard: oh, hey, tell miloh we figured out how to sex his lizard
  • Atala: were they asking you to get fucked in the ass by a machine for money?
  • lemonkey: mm jerk chicken quesadillas
    iz: they are extra delicious because you know the chicken was a real asshole when alive
  • froggytoad: fish guts have this excellent quality of bringing solids out of solutions
  • -- Let it hereby also be noted that PNAC stands for Pvck's Neutron Absorbent Cock.
  • Nana: Rat poison is never the solution.
  • lemonkey: stop, drop, and rofl
  • dr_jesus: If you get me that board, I will develop quad core pants.
  • VonGuard: "welcome to apple, here's your new liver, an ipod, and an ounce of heroin"
  • Atala: ieatlint: sucking cock for crack doesn't count ;P
    ieatlint: Atala, it wasn't for crack
  • ieatlint: yeah, we need a pigeon hacking class at noisebridge
  • vniow-rachel-: i am an unholy breed of hot lesbian and craftiness!
  • Atala: i wish i could eat in the same way i masturbate - whenever the hell i feel like it, going for as long between as i feel like. though it would be sad if i couldn't eat in public, that would be annoying.
  • Valkyrie: I remember a job interview I went on where they had decided that this "IP" business was not the way to go so they were ripping out all their ethernet and replacing it with RS232 and x.25.
  • San: "I still fucking hate Keanu Reeves"
  • ryanc-: i need more sex toys
    vniow: me too
  • aestetix: vniow: do you want me to bring the rape game by Noisebridge tonight?
  • alienvenom: '/win goto #gaysf
    alienvenom: err
    alienvenom: wow
    alienvenom: uh
    alienvenom: everyone type /clear now please :)
    alienvenom: :-\
  • vniow: god, i sound like a noisebridge slut
    Dr. Jesus: vniow: I don't think you're a slut
    vniow: i've slept with ceren too, as of last night
    Dr. Jesus: ok, now I do
  • leif: It's not as wiki as it could be.
  • Martyn: That dildo is going to see more action that a pornstar at Kink.com
    Martyn: You're going to have to start laser-etching the names of people who have used it on it
    Atala: there is definitely an appeal to being able to say "yeah, that steampunk vibrator you saw on boing boing? i fucked that."
  • Valkyrie`: So I'm thinking about going to this gothic rocket thing tonight.
  • Valkyrie`: eh. We already got a "go kill yourself" post... over EMAIL ETIQUETTE!
    Valkyrie`: It's a little surreal.
  • Dr. Jesus: Ok, the federal government is IMing me now.
  • anonymous: Being in noisebridge feels like being surrounded by gnomes and unicorns.
  • Jake: Dr. Jesus, I have no epenis.
  • aestetix : Nine minutes left. That's enough time to do some coke.
  • Jake: Police are like vampires, you never invite them into your home.
  • Skye: I'm like Pavlov for slovenliness.
  • Steen: If you keep taking those you're going to train me to just leave them there.