Restorative Communication: Difference between revisions

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{{communication}}
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{{headerbox}}'''Restorative communication''' is a way to repair relationships that have been damaged by conflict, and prevent future conflicts from arising. By choosing our words carefully, we can experience dramatic shifts in our results.
{{headerbox}}'''Restorative communication''' is a way to repair relationships that have been damaged by conflict, and prevent future conflicts from arising. By choosing our words carefully, we can experience dramatic shifts in our results.
* '''EVENTS:''' Communication Practice Mondays 6:30-7pm, followed by optional [https://www.communicationdojo.com/monday-drop-in-nvc-online-class Communication Dojo Drop-in Online Class] Mondays 7-9pm.
* '''EVENTS:'''  
** Communication Practice Mondays on [[Discord]] 6:30-7pm with fellow Noisebridgers,  
**[[Communication Dojo]] Drop-in class Mondays 7-9pm with teacher Newt Bailey.
**Wednesday Communication Dojo Practice Night, details on their site
* '''MAINTAINERS:''' [[User:Nthmost]], [[User:Lxpk]]
* '''MAINTAINERS:''' [[User:Nthmost]], [[User:Lxpk]]
* '''RESOURCES:''' [https://www.kindus.org/resources GKI Intro to Resorative Communication], [https://www.communicationdojo.com/monday-drop-in-resource-page Communication Dojo links & downloads]
* '''RESOURCES:''' [https://www.kindus.org/resources GKI Intro to Resorative Communication], [https://www.communicationdojo.com/monday-drop-in-resource-page Communication Dojo links & downloads]
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The above text is from the Global Kindness Initiative guides. Download them for yourself here:
The above text is from the Global Kindness Initiative guides. Download them for yourself here:
* [https://4bdda49c-9369-4966-b6fc-7eb483de2338.filesusr.com/ugd/40a576_d2f4427fbe284bc99b80eabb4816b9d8.pdf Global Kindness Initiative Restorative Communication Guide PDF]
* [https://4bdda49c-9369-4966-b6fc-7eb483de2338.filesusr.com/ugd/40a576_d2f4427fbe284bc99b80eabb4816b9d8.pdf Global Kindness Initiative Restorative Communication Guide PDF]
== Practice Exercises ==
We can practice restorative and connected communication with some exercises designed to simulate real-world situations.
* '''Observations:''' Practice making observations in a neutral, descriptive way without including judgements or blame.
* '''Feelings & Needs:''' Practice expressing how you're feeling about something and what needs you might feel aren't being met.
* '''[[Empathy Guesses]]:''' Practice guessing what the other person might be feeling in particular situations and clarifying till you figure it out. This develops familiarity with the Feelings & Needs Inventories and makes it easier to get it right more quickly.
* '''Making offers & requests:''' Practice offering and requesting things that would meet both parties' needs for mutual understanding.
== Communication Habit Practice ==
# List some of your communication habits you use often.
# List some of the listening habits that often bother you.
## Eg. Storytelling. Telling people how you had the same problem or your family member did.
# List some needs they might be fulfilling by using those strategies.
# Have someone share a problem they're having and have everyone practice interrupting and using the habits in response to show all the examples.
# Take turns sharing a non-serious problem scenario and first give habit-based responses for 2 minutes then switch to empathetic listening where you ask questions like "I hear you saying that when you saw X happen you felt Y because you need Z and its difficult to feel like you're getting Z..."

Latest revision as of 16:29, 12 January 2022

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Restorative communication is a way to repair relationships that have been damaged by conflict, and prevent future conflicts from arising. By choosing our words carefully, we can experience dramatic shifts in our results.

Restorative communication is similar to non-violent communication (NVC) and both involve talking in terms of observations, feelings, needs and requests to reach mutual understandings. We've included excerpts here from the GKI Restorative Communication Guide, helpful NVC references like the feelings and needs inventories, and some links to additional videos, practice exercises and free or sliding scale trainings.

Core Concepts[edit]

Here are the Core Concepts of Restorative Practices:

  • How we feel is important. Our emotional state has enormous impact on our ability to be productive, experience enjoyment and satisfaction, and make positive connections with others.
  • All conflicts share an underlying structure. Conflict arises when someone does or says something that we find harmful, and we want them to stop or change their behavior.
  • Threatening language backfires. When we want someone to change their behavior, we usually use threats, fear, or punishment to get them to change. “If you show up late again, you’re fired.”
  • Communicating observations, feelings, needs and requests restores connection. Using Restorative Communication, by clearly expressing our needs and offering the space for others to do the same, we can create change through building greater connection, compassion, and collaboration. “What can I do to support you in being prepared and on time for the meeting tomorrow?”

PRACTICE L.F.O.A.[edit]

Think of a specific event that occurred recently. Describe the exact behavior you would like to see changed.

  • LOOK: Describe what you saw happen.
  • FEEL: What are some of the emotions you felt as a result of this happening?
    • What do you think the other person is feeling, and why?
  • OFFER: Is there something you can offer to do for this person to help get their needs met in a different way?
  • ASK: What specifically would you like them to do differently? Write down the S.M.A.R.T. alternate action that you would like them to take.

Restorative Communication LFOA Bullets.png

Examples[edit]

Here are some example sentences you can practice using to connect with someone and reach a mutual understanding that helps.

Image 2021-12-29 163133.png

SMART Agreements[edit]

Restorative omcmunication smart agreements.png

When you offer something and/or ask for something to reaceh a mutual understanding with someone, try to ensure that your offers and asks cover these criteria:

  • Specific: Describe exactly the behavior you want to seee.
  • Measurable: Give discreet amounts or countable things so that meeting the goal is clear.
  • Actionable: Make it something you can physically do.
  • Realistic: Is this a realistic expectation for this person at this time?
  • Timely: Timebox your request. Set a timeframe for it to happen in.

Global Kindness Initiative[edit]

WWW.KINDUS.ORG is the GKI site with more information and training if you want to learn more and organize a session for your organization.

GKI Restorative Communication Downloads[edit]

The above text is from the Global Kindness Initiative guides. Download them for yourself here: