[Noisebridge-discuss] This will be the last email I ever send the discuss list, along with any relations to this place period.

Matt Joyce matt at nycresistor.com
Tue May 8 19:11:11 PDT 2012


Grow up.

On Tue, May 8, 2012 at 7:06 PM, justin doerr <justinsfca at hotmail.com> wrote:

>  You know what? If I may debate all of this. I am actually doing the best
> that I can not to be hostile. But hey, since everyone else is talking
> drama, I'm about to completely explode!!! I am going to get it all out. My
> closing statement if you will.
>
> I feel that it is my humble opinion that so many of you are acting like
> such hypocrites in saying everything that you are saying.
> For starters, define "trolling" and define "hacking" please? And please
> define them under the terms of which the entire community of members have
> delivered a consensus upon.
>
> Also, YOU WANNA KNOW SOMETHING, I *didn't* want to share any of this with
> anyone because after all this is supposed to be private, but the way so
> many of you seem to be so incredibly merciless with your criticism of me in
> the past, along with the unethical things that have been done to me, along
> with *ALL* the back and forth drama between RAYC and I, or Cynthia, or
> WHO'S HACKING AND WHO'S NOT!?! or WHO'S TROLLING, WHO'S NOT! Everyone
> seriously just shut up, and when you say something like "SHUT UP AND HACK"
> you're saying something, as opposed to SHUTTING UP AND HACKING!! Did you
> think of that?!
> Oh and I was in a shitty position two months ago where I lost many of my
> friends, along with contact from my relatives. When I was in Washington DC,
> after I read that email of Robert accusing me of stealing $100, after I
> replied back to him, I FOOLISHLY got up and walked into my mom's bathroom
> and swallowed two bottles of my mom's Adderall and Xanax pills in her
> medicine cabinet. I had to go to the hospital to get my stomach pumped, and
> be put into a psych ward for 72 hours in Virginia. I am being open and real
> about it because this is what this fucking place has done to me. After
> spending 80-90 hours a week watching the lives of countless others falling
> apart in front of me, and a person who I once highly thought of as probably
> my best pal and buddy at the hackerspace was filming me and laughing at me
> in probably one of the most humiliating and degrading moments in my life.
> OH AND IF I DIDN'T FEEL BAD ABOUT WHAT I DID, AS IN THAT WAS THE LOWEST
> POINT IN MY LIFE, WHY DID I TRY TO KILL MYSELF!! HUH?! So I spat on Robert
> and I sat on his feet once. You wanna know what Robert, maybe the reason
> why I am so reluctant to cave in and submit myself to your constant
> accusations of making me out to be such a violent criminal is because of
> something I was trying to tell you for months and I was going to until you
> publicly embarrassed me by YELLING AT ME IN PUBLIC AT A BURGER KING! You
> wanna know what I was trying to get at, I was trying to relate to your
> situation by letting you know I was a victim of a very nasty hate crime by
> my brother for coming out of the closet when I was 13 years old. And since
> we're on the subject, I was a constant victim of harassment in my
> conservative high school and I even got my car vandalized. Maybe what I was
> trying to tell you all along was that I *was* suffering and am *still *suffering
> from gay shame, and all I wanted was to have a male hetero
> friend/buddy/strictly platonic friend that I could relate that to, and I
> THOUGHT you'd be the type of person that would understand.... It wasn't for
> 11 years that I finally told someone about what happened to me.
> WHAT YOU DID REALLY HURT MY FEELINGS, and I KNOW that what I did to you
> was hurtful and wrong along with all of this constant back and forth
> arguing in *PUBLIC!!!* OVER SUCH STUPID NONSENSICAL CRAP!!! And NOT ONCE
> HAVE YOU EVER APOLOGIZED to me for anything that you have done to
> disrespect and hurt me a LOT on MULTIPLE occasions. IMHO (AND YES I KNOW
> HOW TO SPEAK TECHSPEAK!! BECAUSE I AM SOOOO TECH!!) I am still in AA right
> now and GOING STRONG, and I'm out here busting my ass trying to get a job.
> And you wanna know something it's because of all of you out there who are
> being discriminatory and arrogant egotists to newbie hackers like myself
> who at one point was getting the highest grade in all of my IT classes
> THANKS TO NOISEBRIDGE that I stopped feeling welcome. SO SORRY, I didn't
> GRADUATE from MIT, and invent Google sunglasses. And I was having a lot of
> fun, but now look at where this has all gotten. I can't HACK anything, NOT
> EVEN ASTROLOGY, even if I wanted to!!! And you wanna know something Robert,
> I feel like you have so much criticism for others, but look at your life.
> It is falling apart before my very eyes because you are spending 80-90
> hours of your weeks' time at Noisebridge, avoiding your own *REALITY!!!
> AND I CAN'T BARE TO ALLOW MYSELF TO WATCH!!!*
> *I am so beyond done with this place, and this fucking list, or any of
> these threads or anything related to this place!!! I really wish that I
> could come back here, but HOW LONG before Robert decides to have one of his
> bitter angry temper tantrums and calls the cops on me? OR HOW LONG BEFORE
> ANY OF YOU TRIGGER HAPPY INDIVIDUALS PULL THE SAME STUNT?!?! Huh? HUH?! AND
> GO AHEAD UPLOAD THAT VIDEO OF ME AND SEO it!! MAKE MY DAY!! *I have never
> felt so much more insulted and unethically mistreated by so many people in
> my entire life, and what's worse, this place started off being really cool,
> but *then* all the drama turned me into a drunk angry monster!! AND NO,
> I'm not going to do anything drastic, I'm just fucking done! I'd be CRAZY
> if I ever came back here, if this space hasn't already made me crazy
> enough... This place seriously needs to get an HR department.
> *
> *
> *P-E-A-C-E*
> *OUT, HAVE A GOOD ONE!*
> *
> *
> *- *Justin Patrick Doerr
> PS, I'm gonna go check out HackerDojo in Mountain View, I heard that place
> is drama MINIMUM compared to Noisebridge. And then I'm going to hit up
> Geeks and Depression, thanks Mitch for posting about that. But otherwise, I
> can't deal. Thought I could.... can't... Farewell NB Disgust, farewell
> Noisebridge. Farewell, farewell, farewell.... Emo Force-quit Noisebridge
> sequence begins now...
>
> <http://www.google.com/search?q=You%20know%20what%3F%20If%20I%20may%20debate%20all%20of%20this.%20I%20am%20actually%20doing%20the%20best%20that%20I%20can%20not%20to%20be%20hostile.%20But%20hey%2C%20since%20everyone%20else%20is%20talking%20drama%2C%20I%27m%20about%20to%20completely%20explode%21%21%21%20I%20am%20going%20to%20get%20it%20all%20out.%20My%20closing%20statement%20if%20you%20will.%0A%0AI%20feel%20that%20it%20is%20my%20humble%20opinion%20that%20so%20many%20of%20you%20are%20acting%20like%20such%20hypocrites%20in%20saying%20everything%20that%20you%20are%20saying.%0AFor%20starters%2C%20define%20%22trolling%22%20and%20define%20%22hacking%22%20please%3F%20And%20please%20define%20them%20under%20the%20terms%20of%20which%20the%20entire%20community%20of%20members%20have%20delivered%20a%20consensus%20upon.%0A%0AAlso%2C%20YOU%20WANNA%20KNOW%20SOMETHING%2C%20I%C2%A0didn%27t%C2%A0want%20to%20share%20any%20of%20this%20with%20anyone%20because%20after%20all%20this%20is%20supposed%20to%20be%20private%2C%20but%20the%20way%20so%20many%20of%20you%20seem%20to%20be%20so%20incredibly%20merciless%20with%20your%20criticism%20of%20me%20in%20the%20past%2C%20along%20with%20the%20unethical%20things%20that%20have%20been%20done%20to%20me%2C%20along%20with%C2%A0ALL%C2%A0the%20back%20and%20forth%20drama%20between%20RAYC%20and%20I%2C%20or%20Cynthia%2C%20or%20WHO%27S%20HACKING%20AND%20WHO%27S%20NOT%21%3F%21%20or%20WHO%27S%20TROLLING%2C%20WHO%27S%20NOT%21%20Everyone%20seriously%20just%20shut%20up%2C%20and%20when%20you%20say%20something%20like%20%22SHUT%20UP%20AND%20HACK%22%20you%27re%20saying%20something%2C%20as%20opposed%20to%20SHUTTING%20UP%20AND%20HACKING%21%21%20Did%20you%20think%20of%20that%3F%21%0AOh%20and%20I%20was%20in%20a%20shitty%20position%20two%20months%20ago%20where%20I%20lost%20many%20of%20my%20friends%2C%20along%20with%20contact%20from%20my%20relatives.%20When%20I%20was%20in%20Washington%20DC%2C%20after%20I%20read%20that%20email%20of%20Robert%20accusing%20me%20of%20stealing%C2%A0%24100%2C%20after%20I%20replied%20back%20to%20him%2C%20I%20FOOLISHLY%20got%20up%20and%20walked%20into%20my%20mom%27s%20bathroom%20and%20swallowed%20two%20bottles%20of%20my%20mom%27s%20Adderall%20and%20Xanax%20pills%20in%20her%20medicine%20cabinet.%20I%20had%20to%20go%20to%20the%20hospital%20to%20get%20my%20stomach%20pumped%2C%20and%20be%20put%20into%20a%20psych%20ward%20for%2072%20hours%20in%20Virginia.%20I%20am%20being%20open%20and%20real%20about%20it%20because%20this%20is%20what%20this%20fucking%20place%20has%20done%20to%20me.%20After%20spending%2080-90%20hours%20a%20week%20watching%20the%20lives%20of%20countless%20others%20falling%20apart%20in%20front%20of%20me%2C%20and%20a%20person%20who%20I%20once%20highly%20thought%20of%20as%20probably%20my%20best%20pal%20and%20buddy%20at%20the%20hackerspace%20was%20filming%20me%20and%20laughing%20at%20me%20in%20probably%20one%20of%20the%20most%20humiliating%20and%20degrading%20moments%20in%20my%20life.%20OH%20AND%20IF%20I%20DIDN%27T%20FEEL%20BAD%20ABOUT%20WHAT%20I%20DID%2C%20AS%20IN%20THAT%20WAS%20THE%20LOWEST%20POINT%20IN%20MY%20LIF><http://search.surfcanyon.com/search?f=nrl1&q=You%20know%20what%3F%20If%20I%20may%20debate%20all%20of%20this.%20I%20am%20actually%20doing%20the%20best%20that%20I%20can%20not%20to%20be%20hostile.%20But%20hey%2C%20since%20everyone%20else%20is%20talking%20drama%2C%20I%27m%20about%20to%20completely%20explode%21%21%21%20I%20am%20going%20to%20get%20it%20all%20out.%20My%20closing%20statement%20if%20you%20will.%0A%0AI%20feel%20that%20it%20is%20my%20humble%20opinion%20that%20so%20many%20of%20you%20are%20acting%20like%20such%20hypocrites%20in%20saying%20everything%20that%20you%20are%20saying.%0AFor%20starters%2C%20define%20%22trolling%22%20and%20define%20%22hacking%22%20please%3F%20And%20please%20define%20them%20under%20the%20terms%20of%20which%20the%20entire%20community%20of%20members%20have%20delivered%20a%20consensus%20upon.%0A%0AAlso%2C%20YOU%20WANNA%20KNOW%20SOMETHING%2C%20I%C2%A0didn%27t%C2%A0want%20to%20share%20any%20of%20this%20with%20anyone%20because%20after%20all%20this%20is%20supposed%20to%20be%20private%2C%20but%20the%20way%20so%20many%20of%20you%20seem%20to%20be%20so%20incredibly%20merciless%20with%20your%20criticism%20of%20me%20in%20the%20past%2C%20along%20with%20the%20unethical%20things%20that%20have%20been%20done%20to%20me%2C%20along%20with%C2%A0ALL%C2%A0the%20back%20and%20forth%20drama%20between%20RAYC%20and%20I%2C%20or%20Cynthia%2C%20or%20WHO%27S%20HACKING%20AND%20WHO%27S%20NOT%21%3F%21%20or%20WHO%27S%20TROLLING%2C%20WHO%27S%20NOT%21%20Everyone%20seriously%20just%20shut%20up%2C%20and%20when%20you%20say%20something%20like%20%22SHUT%20UP%20AND%20HACK%22%20you%27re%20saying%20something%2C%20as%20opposed%20to%20SHUTTING%20UP%20AND%20HACKING%21%21%20Did%20you%20think%20of%20that%3F%21%0AOh%20and%20I%20was%20in%20a%20shitty%20position%20two%20months%20ago%20where%20I%20lost%20many%20of%20my%20friends%2C%20along%20with%20contact%20from%20my%20relatives.%20When%20I%20was%20in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