[Noisebridge-discuss] Benevolent Sexism

Snail snailtsunami at gmail.com
Sat Apr 6 19:12:21 UTC 2013

You misspelled my name :P

People -constantly- try to help me with my bike on the rack at Noisebridge
when I don't manage to hike it up in one swoop. They -always- try to
explain to me how I'm doing it wrong. They -always- think I don't
understand the problem or that I can't do it myself. It's always a man who
does this.

It would be annoying even if I were a man, to be doing a simple task and
have someone male or female --jump in my way and literally try to take it
out of my hands while I'm working on it--.

On Sat, Apr 6, 2013 at 12:01 PM, LinkReincarnate
<linkreincarnate at gmail.com>wrote:

> Benevolent Sexism exists.  I am not here to argue that is does not.  I
> will point out that there is a lot of behavior that overlaps with
> Benevolent Sexist behaviors.  For example I was in the space and  snell was
> trying to get her bike off of the rack.  From my angle I could see that the
> tire was still stuck on the hook so I tried to lift the tire off of the
> hook.  Snell didn't like this and told me to stop. I did.  The only reason
> I could see for her not wanting my help was because I was a man, she was a
> woman, and heavy lifting was involved.   The problem is that I was not
> helping her out of a sense that "she's just a frail woman"  I was helping
> her because I saw what was causing her problems.  (And she appeared to be
> at an angle that obscured the problem) Had she been a man I would have
> still helped remove the bike from the rack.    So while benevolent sexism
> exists lets not go overboard in reacting to perceived benevolent sexism.
> There a lots and lots of prosocial behaviors that overlap with benevolent
> sexism and without knowing the other persons thoughts and motivation for
> initiating an act you cannot tell one from the other.  In other words give
> people the benefit of the doubt.  If you see some behavior that you think
> is benevolently sexist rather than scowl at the person for it, check
> yourself.  Is there a possibility that this person's actions were not in
> fact motivated by my sex?  Is there a possibility that by being so
> hypervigilant for sexism that I am finding false positives?
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............. _ at y
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