[Noisebridge-discuss] Benevolent Sexism

LinkReincarnate linkreincarnate at gmail.com
Sat Apr 6 19:32:45 UTC 2013

First of all You are making a lot of assumptions here. And secondly you are
ascribing the actions of other men to me.

1 I never took anything out of your hand or stepped "In your way" as you
put it.  I was standing to the side of the bike and putting my hand under
the wheel to get it unstuck.  I didn't even get near your personal space.
2 I never offered (or would have offered) a lecture about how to remove the
bike from the rack or comments that you are doing it wrong.
3 You dont know what those men think anymore than I do

Fact of the matter is that your sex had no bearing whatsoever on my
actions  but you automatically assumed that was why I was helping. You even
assumed that after I explicitly stated that was not the case. That type of
attitude is divisive and counterproductive.
On Apr 6, 2013 12:12 PM, "Snail" <snailtsunami at gmail.com> wrote:

> You misspelled my name :P
> People -constantly- try to help me with my bike on the rack at Noisebridge
> when I don't manage to hike it up in one swoop. They -always- try to
> explain to me how I'm doing it wrong. They -always- think I don't
> understand the problem or that I can't do it myself. It's always a man who
> does this.
> It would be annoying even if I were a man, to be doing a simple task and
> have someone male or female --jump in my way and literally try to take it
> out of my hands while I'm working on it--.
> On Sat, Apr 6, 2013 at 12:01 PM, LinkReincarnate <
> linkreincarnate at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Benevolent Sexism exists.  I am not here to argue that is does not.  I
>> will point out that there is a lot of behavior that overlaps with
>> Benevolent Sexist behaviors.  For example I was in the space and  snell was
>> trying to get her bike off of the rack.  From my angle I could see that the
>> tire was still stuck on the hook so I tried to lift the tire off of the
>> hook.  Snell didn't like this and told me to stop. I did.  The only reason
>> I could see for her not wanting my help was because I was a man, she was a
>> woman, and heavy lifting was involved.   The problem is that I was not
>> helping her out of a sense that "she's just a frail woman"  I was helping
>> her because I saw what was causing her problems.  (And she appeared to be
>> at an angle that obscured the problem) Had she been a man I would have
>> still helped remove the bike from the rack.    So while benevolent sexism
>> exists lets not go overboard in reacting to perceived benevolent sexism.
>> There a lots and lots of prosocial behaviors that overlap with benevolent
>> sexism and without knowing the other persons thoughts and motivation for
>> initiating an act you cannot tell one from the other.  In other words give
>> people the benefit of the doubt.  If you see some behavior that you think
>> is benevolently sexist rather than scowl at the person for it, check
>> yourself.  Is there a possibility that this person's actions were not in
>> fact motivated by my sex?  Is there a possibility that by being so
>> hypervigilant for sexism that I am finding false positives?
>> _______________________________________________
>> Noisebridge-discuss mailing list
>> Noisebridge-discuss at lists.noisebridge.net
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> --
> -Snailssnailssnailssnailssnailssnailssnails
> ............. _ at y
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