[Noisebridge-discuss] Benevolent Sexism

Snail snailtsunami at gmail.com
Sat Apr 6 19:35:25 UTC 2013

I would like to say that I'm sorry that I don't want your help putting my
bike on the bike rack, but I'm not really sorry.

On Sat, Apr 6, 2013 at 12:32 PM, LinkReincarnate
<linkreincarnate at gmail.com>wrote:

> First of all You are making a lot of assumptions here. And secondly you
> are ascribing the actions of other men to me.
> 1 I never took anything out of your hand or stepped "In your way" as you
> put it.  I was standing to the side of the bike and putting my hand under
> the wheel to get it unstuck.  I didn't even get near your personal space.
> 2 I never offered (or would have offered) a lecture about how to remove
> the bike from the rack or comments that you are doing it wrong.
> 3 You dont know what those men think anymore than I do
> Fact of the matter is that your sex had no bearing whatsoever on my
> actions  but you automatically assumed that was why I was helping. You even
> assumed that after I explicitly stated that was not the case. That type of
> attitude is divisive and counterproductive.
> On Apr 6, 2013 12:12 PM, "Snail" <snailtsunami at gmail.com> wrote:
>> You misspelled my name :P
>> People -constantly- try to help me with my bike on the rack at
>> Noisebridge when I don't manage to hike it up in one swoop. They -always-
>> try to explain to me how I'm doing it wrong. They -always- think I don't
>> understand the problem or that I can't do it myself. It's always a man who
>> does this.
>> It would be annoying even if I were a man, to be doing a simple task and
>> have someone male or female --jump in my way and literally try to take it
>> out of my hands while I'm working on it--.
>> On Sat, Apr 6, 2013 at 12:01 PM, LinkReincarnate <
>> linkreincarnate at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> Benevolent Sexism exists.  I am not here to argue that is does not.  I
>>> will point out that there is a lot of behavior that overlaps with
>>> Benevolent Sexist behaviors.  For example I was in the space and  snell was
>>> trying to get her bike off of the rack.  From my angle I could see that the
>>> tire was still stuck on the hook so I tried to lift the tire off of the
>>> hook.  Snell didn't like this and told me to stop. I did.  The only reason
>>> I could see for her not wanting my help was because I was a man, she was a
>>> woman, and heavy lifting was involved.   The problem is that I was not
>>> helping her out of a sense that "she's just a frail woman"  I was helping
>>> her because I saw what was causing her problems.  (And she appeared to be
>>> at an angle that obscured the problem) Had she been a man I would have
>>> still helped remove the bike from the rack.    So while benevolent sexism
>>> exists lets not go overboard in reacting to perceived benevolent sexism.
>>> There a lots and lots of prosocial behaviors that overlap with benevolent
>>> sexism and without knowing the other persons thoughts and motivation for
>>> initiating an act you cannot tell one from the other.  In other words give
>>> people the benefit of the doubt.  If you see some behavior that you think
>>> is benevolently sexist rather than scowl at the person for it, check
>>> yourself.  Is there a possibility that this person's actions were not in
>>> fact motivated by my sex?  Is there a possibility that by being so
>>> hypervigilant for sexism that I am finding false positives?
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> Noisebridge-discuss mailing list
>>> Noisebridge-discuss at lists.noisebridge.net
>>> https://www.noisebridge.net/mailman/listinfo/noisebridge-discuss
>> --
>> -Snailssnailssnailssnailssnailssnailssnails
>> ............. _ at y

............. _ at y
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