[Noisebridge-discuss] Onward

Jeffery Mercentuar jphenryinsf at gmail.com
Tue Sep 3 23:22:21 UTC 2013

yo this guy andrew byrne is an admitted sex offender. he needs to be banned
or at least have his dick cut off.

On Sun, Sep 1, 2013 at 1:11 PM, Andrew Byrne <andrew at pachakutech.com> wrote:

> Dear NoiseBridge list of record,
> I received the following message--unsolicited--from Lillian. My response
> to her was to please speak to the person who is calling for my murder, but
> after the occupy noisebridger who stores their dumpster food in the fridge
> began complaining about 'rape culture' months after the shitstorm here, the
> continuing absurdity of the situation has clarified, for me, the way
> forward; but first, please read:
> "...I wanted to address the drama that started this whole thing to begin
> with.
> While I felt heavily violated after the incident inside the turing
> classroom, I still wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. Because
> nothing more than you unzipping my pants occurred, I wasn't sure what your
> intent was. You seemed a little 'off' that night too, and despite my better
> judgement I still asked you to help me with my estrogen shot. That was
> definitely a mistake on my part. I thought of multiple ideas as to why you
> may have reached in front of my body while I was in a vulnerable position
> on the table to unzip my pants, that may have justified your behavior. I
> really didn't want to ruin your reputation in a community you seemed more
> apt to be in than me. I thought, "maybe he misunderstood what I meant by
> shooting my butt?" It's possible I was giving you the wrong idea, though
> one would assume that once I showed you the IM needles you would have
> realized your mistake. Not to mention the fact that I believe you already
> knew I was on an injectable estrogen supplement, though I could easily be
> mistaken with that. It's also entirely plausible that you were simply
> trying to assist me with my pants, which I think is far more likely and
> excusable than the prior theory. The pre-injection anxiety does prevent me
> from being clear headed, and I was laying on the table with my pants still
> up. Though I still would have prefered that you used your words to remind
> me rather than your hands.
> The entire situation felt extremely violating regardless of your intent. I
> want to make that clear. I have extreme gender dysphoria regarding the
> genitals I was born with, and I don't even feel comfortable with partners
> placing their hands near them during sexual play, let alone someone who's
> assisting me medically. But despite all that, I still wanted to give you
> the benefit of the doubt, because you had always seemed like a guy I could
> trust. The only tipping point that got me to send out the emails was claims
> I had heard from others that led me to believe that you were a potential
> threat to others. It was meant as a note of caution to the community,
> nothing more.
> I've heard recently that you're having trouble finding work because of the
> series of emails I had sent to the Noisebridge mailing list. I'm sorry
> you're going through that. While my general hunches about you stay the
> same, I do think that it's unjust that your losing job opportunities based
> on the claims of someone on an internet mailing list. As someone who has
> personally had a lot of difficulties finding work, I can only imagine how
> much harder an accusation like that can be. I didn't want to take this to
> the authorities for three reasons: I didn't have the time to go to court
> with this especially considering I was living miles away, I really didn't
> think there was enough evidence beyond reasonable doubt, and I kind of
> believe the current criminal justice system is heavily corrupt. I wouldn't
> want to put people who are guilty of most crimes into that system, let
> alone someone I wasn't entirely sure was actually a threat. Even I was
> unsure what had occurred or what your intentions were, not to mention the
> fact that nothing beyond you unzipping my pants happened.
> I want to apologize for some of the things I said later in the discuss
> list, that were brought out due to an emotional reaction. I've read
> multiple accounts of victims being blamed for their sexual assault that
> have left me infuriated. When I saw the same thing happen to me from
> members of a community I previously felt part of, I wasn't just angry, I
> was extremely upset. No one was taking what I had to say seriously, and I
> felt like I was personally being attacked for doing what I thought to be
> the right thing. Perhaps bringing up that I felt I could have gotten raped
> had I not reacted (which I did feel that way, mind you) was not the best
> thing to do, nor was bringing up the fact that I had suspicion (not proof)
> that you may have been on cocaine. I apologize for that as well.
> I initially wanted to post this as an open email to the noisebridge
> mailing list, but decided against it because I wanted to give us a chance
> to talk this through before it escalates even further. If you're finding
> companies aren't hiring you due to my claims of the incident that occurred,
> I'm willing to write a more open letter to the community with a far less
> biased point of view, or you can simply forward this letter yourself."
> I'm sure Lillian will agree I made no distorting edits.
> A quick look at these claims from others. /The/ other claim comes from
> someone who became angry that I questioned their gender by saying 'digital
> feminine' reminded me of them. So angered, they then said a massage I had
> given a month earlier was creepy. Pidgeon, Kim, and Ramone were all present
> for that. All of this is in the emails that I sent to Liz when she
> represented herself as a mediator, which she then posted to discuss,
> characterizing these 6 emails--out of dozens over a year long
> correspondence--as gas lighting. The reference is to a '70's
> psycho-thriller.
> The film was entertaining, but the past 6 months have not been. *deep
> breath* As a rape--penetrative rape--survivor (artfully termed 'rape per
> se' at a recent meeting) the suggestion and enforced perception that I
> could perpetuate that violence on another has been wildly
> depressing--nauseating in the extreme; but firstly and always my empathy
> lies with the aggrieved parties. I would like a fuller understanding of
> why, when the mediator became alternately too ill or busy to consider the
> matter, they did not seek out someone else, or at least email those
> concerned to tell them that their concerns were being addressed, though the
> process was delayed. I can't be angry at Lillian for posting to list; the
> affair had been dumped on a meeting some weeks previous, with no attempt
> made to bring the concerned parties together and no follow-up.
> The damage to my own person from this has been dramatic, but the damage of
> this unmediated, public drama to NoiseBridge is incalculable; I here
> attempt to enumerate the forms it takes: firstly, to those who judge by
> allegation, NoiseBridge becomes seen as a dangerous place for males,
> females and intersexed, cis and trans alike; for those who read the text of
> the allegations, NoiseBridge becomes a place where sometimes spurious or
> subtle claims are likely to be publicly amplified into claims that inspire
> murderous intent; lastly, this drama makes a mockery of a valuable
> resource; a non-judicial mediation procedure that respects the needs of all
> the parties involved.
> I think that the first two--examples of both abound--can be addressed by
> focusing on the third. I think NoiseBridge could greatly benefit from a
> mediation system that respects the need for the claims of the aggrieved to
> be taken seriously, and which understands the sometimes delicate or
> incendiary nature of disagreements between radicals/hackers. Importantly,
> something lacking in my recent limelighting needs to be present: a timely
> resolution. Without this, some will see the mediation process as a
> underhanded method for de facto banning, and others will see it as a cruel,
> invalidating dead-end. Alternatively, meditation can be an affirming
> process that educates and provides piece of mind; public kangaroo trials
> can be cathartic, but not ultimately satisfying to anyone but the onlookers.
> There is so much here that I would have wished stayed amongst the
> concerned parties; what would that have looked like? Alex Peake suggested a
> format for the more involved issues that I appreciate: a mediator and two
> advocates, the docent likely assuming the representation of the initially
> aggrieved if the issue is brought to them in that manner and it is seen as
> too big for any of those present to mediate. Such a structure could
> buttress our mediation process with the trust and respect of the community
> and prevent painful public discussions from driving away newcomers and
> old-timers alike.
> I'd like to close this email by thanking those who have shown their
> support for me through words and hugs; knowing that not everyone saw me as
> a monster worthy of death backed me down from the ledge a few times over.
> Amor y libertad
> -AnB
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> Noisebridge-discuss at lists.noisebridge.net
> https://www.noisebridge.net/mailman/listinfo/noisebridge-discuss
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