[Noisebridge-discuss] Important Announcement from the Board

Naomi Most pnaomi at gmail.com
Tue Apr 1 23:05:13 UTC 2014


*snore*

Maybe. What's it to you?


On Tue, Apr 1, 2014 at 2:46 PM, Al Sweigart <asweigart at gmail.com> wrote:
> *Yawn*
>
> So, like, are you going to be at the meeting tonight?
>
> On Apr 1, 2014 11:00 AM, "Naomi Most" <pnaomi at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> Attention, Noisebridge hackers.
>>
>> Noisebridge is now under martial law.
>>
>> All of the bylaws have been suspended.
>>
>> Stay in your cubicles.
>>
>> Do not attempt to contact collaborators, attorneys, or other hackerspaces.
>>
>> SHUT UP.
>>
>> Do not attempt to think, or depression may occur.
>>
>> Curfew is at 11pm sharp, after Hackatorium Hours are over.
>>
>> Anyone caught inside Noisebridge after curfew will be banned.
>>
>> Remain calm.
>>
>> Do not panic.
>>
>> Your neighborhood Red Shirt will be by to collect urine samples in the
>> morning.  Anyone interfering with the collection of urine samples will
>> be banned.
>>
>> Hack shelves will be inspected for trace elements at noon.
>>
>> Anyone failing to display the mandatory embossed black velvet
>> mexican-style painting of Emperor Norton on their hack shelf will be
>> banned.
>>
>> To further protect private property against homeless people, cameras
>> and surveillance equipment will be placed on all hack shelves and
>> classrooms.
>>
>> Anyone failing to attend morning mediation and prescribed bureaucracy
>> worship services on Tuesday will be promptly banned.
>>
>> Stay in your cubicles.
>>
>> Remain calm.
>>
>> The number one enemy of progress is QUESTIONS.
>>
>> Security is more important than individual rights.
>>
>> Under the provisions of the war on homeless people, zero tolerance,
>> and the anti-harassment policy, all property and life savings of
>> suspected drug users and suspected sleepers in the space will be
>> seized and sold prior to mediation.
>>
>> Anyone resisting this policy will be presumed to be under the
>> influence of drugs.
>>
>> No longer will anyone be able to gather without permission.  Use only
>> the drugs prescribed by your hackerspace.
>>
>> SHUT UP.
>>
>> Be happy.
>>
>> Obey all wiki edits without question.
>>
>> SHUT UP.
>>
>> The comfort you demanded is now MANDATORY.
>>
>>
>> ---- A message from your dutiful Noisebridge Board of Directors
>> _______________________________________________
>> Noisebridge-discuss mailing list
>> Noisebridge-discuss at lists.noisebridge.net
>> https://www.noisebridge.net/mailman/listinfo/noisebridge-discuss



-- 
Naomi Theora Most
naomi at nthmost.com
+1-415-728-7490

skype: nthmost

http://twitter.com/nthmost


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