[Zines not Drama] ZiP One postponed - WARNING: This post may contain material of a Personal and Dramatic nature

Tony Longshanks LeTigre anthonyletigre at gmail.com
Thu Jan 19 13:48:07 PST 2012


I'm sending this to the Zipsters + Noisebridge Discuss & a few stragglers.
This is exactly the sort of "personal drama" post I dislike & wanted to
avoid, but I can't really overlook the boulder that just landed on top of
me & I don't have time to write a mass of individual letters right now.
This is the first time I've been online since Tuesday night, when the
universe - my universe anyway - seemed to begin a slow meltdown that
culminated in total implosion.

*ZiP Issue One is going to be delayed slightly due to circumstances
presently beyond my control.* I'm determined to finish it, hopefully in the
next few days, because too much work has already gone into it - mine and
the work of others, notably Adam, Miloh, and Gavin - to throw it away. *This
is as far as most people need to read. Anyone who wishes to know more about
my personal circumstances, read on.
*
For anyone who doesn't know, I've been squatting for the last few months,
and Wednesday morning - following a horrific night in which I got
absolutely no sleep due to the drug-addled antics of a former "friend" who
owes many people, including myself, a MAJOR apology - a man claiming to be
the owner of our squat came over with police & threw us out, along with all
my stuff. My immediate goal is to find a place to crash temporarily, and
hopefully somewhere to stash some of my stuff so I don't lose everything I
own in a flash. I was a first-time squatter. I had two months that were
really quite lovely, and then it suddenly ended in a way that was not
lovely at all. I knew this could happen when I started, and I accept it.

My future in SF is very much in doubt at the moment. My 3 years here have
been an endless series of catastrophes wherein I am unable to ever find
stability because my living and/or employment situations are constantly on
the rocks. As much as I like Noisebridge, it is plagued with needy people
who take and give nothing back to the space. I don't want to be one of them
- I never once slept there, never will; actually brought a number of
homeless or shiftless people from NB to my squat, in an attempt to
alleviate that issue; usually have and prepare my own food which I share
with others when I can (but not when I can't). I've been able to get lots
of creative work done - it's my passion and really the only thing I care
about - over the past few months largely because I haven't had to work
full-time and have been floating on unemployment. I haven't figured out how
to make a living, at SF rates, through writing, zine-making, & other forms
of creativity yet. The paper I was writing for paid $50 an article and I
wrote about 3 a month for them. That doesn't even pay the bills when you're
*squatting.*

So I'm giving serious thought to leaving the city. And going.....anywhere
else! Maybe back to Portland. It seems to be calling to me. I fought for a
long time because leaving felt like defeat & failure, but you gotta know
when to fold 'em* and I think it may be that time. Maybe I'm wrong and
there actually is a life for me here, we'll see. I'm really in the mood to
travel the world with everything I own in one small suitcase & start over
fresh somewhere new, outside the U.S. But I don't have a passport or money
for airfare, so that's a pipe dream for now.

Maybe I'll come to NB this eve to attend 5 Minutes of Fame, but I'll
probably feel lame for flaking out.....so probably not. I hope it goes well.


End of File



Tony the Dilapidated Tiger


*In times of hardship, I often turn to the work of Kenny Rogers for
inspiration
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