Meeting Notes 2012 05 22
I'm just going to let everyone know that I took extreme expressionistic artistic "flourish", I sought to descriabe, in material terms, the real essence of being of the Noisebridge social community to denote a self-referential totality to subvert the entrenched anarchistic postcultural paradigm. There are no facts, only interpretations.
Consequently, this work is not intended to depict any real events or persons.
Note-taker: Zephyr "The Heffer" Pellerin
Moderator: Tom 'The Bomb' Lowenthal
 Introduction and Names
Private Eye Zephyr Pellerin whips open his laptop to deliver his rendition of meeting notes cum interpretive dance. The regulars roll in for an occasional respite from the Marijuana haze to watch human civilization at it's most banal (but a genuine beacon of hope) -- as the era of meaningful dialog and consensus slip away, paranoia and discord creeps in with the San Francisco fog.
XMonad crashes, delivering on it's year long guarantees of "A crash free experience", this time it's brought down all of X11.
I can't help but identify with the poor lost souls on Windows, explorer.exe may be written in a procedural programming language, but I've never seen it crash.
Tom introduces himself, crowd seems to be in agreement -- "fuck tom".
Today, a small largely petty conversation begins to formulae at the dawning of the Noisebridge meeting, Zephyr has seen this scenario play out before. Tom attempts to restore order -- all boys have high hopes for the world before they are dashed by the mercilessness of reality, perhaps Tom is one of those entrusted with God's will, what we might have called "Saints" years ago.
Then again, a man wiser than myself once said that insanity is trying the same thing over and expecting different results and Tom has been trying for as long as I've known him.
After a half-hearted cry for someone, anyone, to explain what Noisebridge is about, we find out that in the 20-some members present, some of them years into membership, frankly nobody can explain what Noisebridge is, the hallowed halls of Noisebridge stands in awkward silence. Faces are aghast, deep, existential dread confronts the whole room -- "What are we doing here, where are we going?", in a single moment, the whole premise of Noisebridge seems to be scarily characterized by "Being and Nothingness".
The injection of entropy continues, petty conversation comparing George Bush's (venerable) presidency to a Rubics Cube. We're basically Rhodes Scholars here.
Isis "The Whitest" Lovecruft demands to know the location of the meeting notes, declaring "There's no Ps to be fucked with here". Another unsuspecting victim of Noisebridge madness no doubt.
A naive reader might then ask "what is Noisebridge madness".
Permit me to share some wisdom with you, reader of the Meeting Notes in the 5th month of the 12th year on the 22nd day.
But if you're still hungry for a morsel of forbidden knowledge, Legend has it that if you spend too much time at the 'bridge, after too much technology, little by little, you'll go insane.
No doubt, our human scientific endeavors have better explanations, but even the greatest (wy/wo)man of science stand in fear of Noisebridge madness.
The Noisebridge crowd congratulates Zephyr on his knowledge of feminist terminology despite his incessant use of terms like "hella" and "yo". My colloquial vernacular fools no one, secretly just a tool of the patriarchy.
After the long pause passes, Leif "The Chief" is the first person with the bravado to attempt to explain what Noisebridge is. The subtext of his flowery words is obvious -- Noisebridge remains a Bolshevik breeding ground instilled with the essence of a Mental Institution.
Some short introductions ensue, A Hacker from the Beijing Hacker Space "Hao" is present, while the eminently dubious Rubin sets a new simon says record. Mike (He's an Omsbudsman!) has no comment for the meeting notes but insists he's here. Ben smiles while trying to fix something. Isis undoes her sarae and chimes in. Leif, attempting to fix some long-dilapidated artifact hanging from the roof cheerily insists he's here. Carlos mumbles, but nothing escapes Zephyr's discerning ears, Cynthia says something coherent, Stephen Bal. lets the world know -- He's here and he's mad and he's not going to take it any more!
Tom issues a seemingly obvious reminder to the greater Noisebridge mass, "We need simplicity". After the years of understanding complex pattern matching and abstract symbol sets, it would appear we're wholly unable to understand the basic fundamental structure of an event description.
Still, Noisebridge marches on -- some events are described.
- Hack Beer? I like that because of it's responsible.
- Repise of Privacy Hacking, we'll call it... Noon. As expected, none of this is actually on the wiki or has been emailed, it "will" happen.
Tom proceeds to announce memberships
- "John Witheres" probably a federal agent. Week number one, obviously.
- Paul Monad, obviously cool, his name ends in Monad. He's an endofunctor over a closed branch.
Whoa, He's becoming a member!!!!
- Jim , whatever
- Aspen, whatever
- Harold Gasskil
- Daniel Jabor,
- Blake Griffith
- Zephyr (Lord of the Dance), everyone agree they really like him. Turns out he's still a member, hasn't abrogated anything, take that Kelly!
Zephyr would like to inject a moment of meta by explaining that I became a member by telling everyone I wasn't a member.
MEANWHILE, BACK AT NOISEBRIDGE
Serious objection to light being turned on. The years beneath the surface have made the inhabitants of Noisebridge fear the light and those who dwell in it. (Perfect Byronic Hero trait!)
MONAD IS BECOMING A MEMBER, THIS IS REAL, THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.
In a rare moment of sobriety, Tom admits we've basically been reduced to corruption and utter moral depravity, we're literally being bribed into membership induction at the cost of Alcohol. Psychologists and our modern Antiquarians have long speculated on the peculiar nature of Noisebridge's strange practices, now our persona has been unmasked, we're all just heavy drinkers. This is Rock Bottom.
Rubin: How do you feel about Noisebridge?
Monad: This is a radical social experiment. (See what I meant about Bolsheviks!)
Will: What sort of social experiments do you intend to run. (The Communist Sympathizer Kind Obviously! Did you know theres Sendero Luminso literature laying around Noisebridge (Not a joke))
Monad; The idea of consensus, the idea of being so inclusive is appealing to him. Most people here try to be as inclusive as possible. He's been getting mixed up about if he belongs, he doesn't know if he's a computer person.
Rubin: We're not just computer people. (Some even call us people!)
Monad: nonetheless, a language and jargon difference emerges.
The room is too inebriated to really formulate any sort of coherent response, so we just segway into the hard hitting personal attacks.
Leif: Under what circumstances do you block?
Monad: I haven't come across anything I would block. I would have to see something egregious.
Will: What if we wanted to start fires. (Nope, not joking)
Monad: Attempts to respond rationally.
Jesus god this is real life.
Monad: What is going on here? Are we self-destructing.
A silence comes over Noisebridge.
Carlos sits in front of his computer, furiously hacking away at some arcane piece of software while Nick contends with Lua's Just in Time Compiler, in an unending ouroboros of perplexed mannerisms and glee at small victories over the machine, it would be too modest to say he's a bright kid. I shouldn't say kid I suppose, he's 3 months older than me. Isis finishes staring at Noisebridge's considerable folk art collection and looks over at me, she looks like a panda with a mean face, years into execution on a program that cannot halt.. "No total computable function exists, that, in the general case, finds the halting point of a given gramm"... On second thought, I need not bore the reader. Mike tinkers away, and despite my respect for his seniority, no matter how many times I see him, he has this ineffable quality of a little kid discovering Baking Soda and Vinegar for the first time. I try to treasure moments like these, I think the reader should be considerate of them as well -- They are a little bit sacred, almost divine, I'm continually surprised the characters I'm describing are quite real, despite their almost literary qualities.
Whoa, poignant moment there, almost brought a tear to my eye -- too bad I've been stripped of my disconsolate human features and been reborn a machine.
But I digress.
Tom tries to rustle our jimmies back into shape and declares this "The best answer".
We stand in self-loathing silence.
Jesse asks how he intends to contribute to Noisebridge's mission.
Rubin declares education unimportant. "Is there a Noisebridge? Is there a Mission?" The Mission doesn't include most of Valencia.
Tom tries to restore reason. He fails. A man can only try, keep strong my friend!
Monad claims that he wants to be used and use. Thats what it says.
Monad is a metal fabricator, seems to be an alright dude, more "exotic type of things". As well as other materials.
Rumors of note takers bias emerge. <-- Emo
Monad continues to elaborate on his dome building ability. He can build them in your oven.
Monad's Answer: Bigger than your oven. 2 Noisebridge members, one oven. No Holocaust jokes here.
Let the record state that Monad has always has been legitimate citizen of United States and paid his taxes. Always files his W2s.
Worked as patriotic CIA asset.
Definitely CIA asset. (Hebrew and Japanese is SUSPICIOUS!)
Jesse thinks this guy can be used. (For evil)
Tom declares this to be the end of questions. Demands tribute to his unholy deity.
Now, We've devolved into "The Price is Right", come on up!
Rubin thinks he might not be legit. All his W2s? (Even I haven't done that)
But Rubin declares him rad, I mean, his name ends with Monad. He's a closed endofunctor! He has *NO* side effects.
Tom declares him to be "sponsorable"
Crowd loves him, Monad is in like flynn!
Surprisingly not a methhead? (Is he right for Noisebridge?)
Cuts keys? Are we sure he's not a meth head? Let's not get our hopes up.
Nonetheless, no objection.
This is who we are.
We seriously have to organize clapping. We're a chipper bunch, really.
Oh god, now we're going to talk financials.
I never studied this in school, forgive me. I don't know much about these number things.
Nope, don't even tell me.
God, here's the number anyway 18,888.24, And we're the millionth visitor!!!!!
- There are $2,101.33 earmarked NoiseTor funds
- Colo service has been paid through Jun 7, 2012
- There are enough funds to pay for an additional 2 months of colo
- This information was updated at Tue May 22 20:30:02 2012
Theres a bunch of proposals about cleaning. Jeez.
Will complains, but in a british way, so I can't really tell if its a book review or something.
Tom has lost it, probably embezzling the cleaning money.
Tom finally admits it.
"Skyline Building Care", thats definitely not a fro, this is what it costs Tom to buy a gram of meth (145) and spend it in his iniquitous ways.
Tom pleads "Sorry for Party Rockin'", as established by the 5upr3m3 kort 0f d4 br1dg3 in Rob vs. Noisebridge
Surprisingly no drama.
Rubin admits he's gotten us a deal through sexual favors.
OHHH BURN ON RUBIN (They charge double, says the crowd)
Rubin cringes in a moment of self-awareness.
Will explains that cleaning people clean, like bathrooms and the various nooks and crannys that the local populace cannot yet handle for reasons unknown. Further anthropological research required.
Isis issues fatwa on Carlos.
Will explains that cleaning may be a source of happiness for some.
Rayc has indeed been cleaning alot..
Rob, questions if external forces need application to the noisebridge entropy-o-meter.
Will explains that cleaning is a real life thing. Not something Noisebridge is good at.
Eric asks how long they spend cleaning.
Will responds they are capable of mopping, and preventing scurvy and syphilus in the space.
Will elaborates they spend at least an hour up tor 2 hours, they've been seen working.
Ben demands weekly payment, it needs to be weekly.
Tom tries to inject order into disorder. Clearly hasn't studied thermodynamics.
Will claims Cynthia was cleaning the Kitchen. But suggests that she can be territorial about allowing people to make use if the space after she has cleanned.
JUMPING JEEPERS, WE OWE WILL LIKE A GRAND, HE'S ONTO US.
Leif advocates fiscal responsibility (pointing out Noisebridge currently owes Will for previous cleaning; Will confirms NB owes him ~$1k in receipts for previous cleaning which he has submitted to the treasurer), the social conservatives boo him.
Will agrees but ripostes with health care proposal.
Nobody objects to this, surprisingly.
Monad asks if cleaning the space isn't a constant activity.
Tom agrees we should work to do so, and Tom believes it justifies the cost. It makes a difference
Ben asks if we want to formalize a cleaning crew?
Erics pulls some strait up do-ocracy like you heard about in school. It's on the wiki, this is happening people!!!!!
Will explains the cleaning people have metaphysical cleaning prowess, something about "ad-hoc", not going to let the reader be confused by his elitist UK words of wickedness.
Nevertheless, we consense to pay these cleaners some money for 6th months.
Tom, please, you need help, the 'cleaning company' sham fools none of us.
Tom pauses, struck by our caring intervention.
Tom moves on.
Tom expects mediators (from two weeks ago) to get their shit together.
Tom explains to Cynthia that she might be bias about the topic of Cynthia. . Tom and Ben are going to have a fencing match outside of Noisebridge after the meeting. To the DEATH!!!!
Mediators, please actually show up when you promise to. You said you would at How Wierd.
Tom modifies the record. Cynthia objects to some abuse, inappropriate and "unhonest" information, Miloh KNEW she was going to not be at this meeting. This gave them carte blanche!
Cynthia Also commented that she the notes referred to a female cop coached out of the bathroom when there were 2 police men, not women.
Ben knows that Miloh knows.
Tom explains people lie.
Cynthia is taken aback.
Tom expliains that this is simple shit, that we really should be working out through mediators.
Surprisingly, no topics of discussion emerge.
It's WILL hitting us with "Is super-q taking out our garbage or bikes?" A: wtf are you talking about.
Will may be attempting British humor.
Too dense, we all miss it
Ben and Will are going to have a fist fight in the space.
We all miss it.
Ben explains that there were a number of abandoned bikes that were ziptied. He has no clue where they are.
All the bikes went away.
Looks like people don't just leave their bikes at Noisebridge, this is surprising!!
Propositions of a community bike emerge.
Monad asks if we should allow someone to leave this bike here.
Jessy asks if this is evidence of habitation.
Queue laugh track.
Zip tie trap has been hatched!!!
Tom declares "fannnntastic" most fantastically.
Eric tells us about his friend, he met on sunday.
She was trying to take pictures of eclipse.
She would like to take pictures of us, I've been validated.
Holy shit, this is a speed meeting
TOORCAMP IS COMING UP, FUUUUUUUCKK YEAH.
So is HOPE.
If you'd like to go, Noisebridge camp is happening.
Mitch sent out a message on disgust.
Rubin draws parallels between Noisebridge Discuss and Pyramids of Giza, it's really just downhill from there.
Eric declares us "dreadfully out of men's shirts". That's verbatim.
Oh, he's talking about Noisebridge shirts, looks like I'm the asshole here.
Mitch is the source of men's shirts, surprise surprise.
Noisebridge tests faster than light neutrino information transit technology.