ZIP1

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COVER[edit]

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CONTENTS[edit]

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READ IT[edit]

READ IT ON THE ARCHIVE OR PDF:

Issue #1

INTERNET ARCHIVE ROUGH TEXT[edit]

'i:


Lternate Realities


lialking through this Mission an b sunny I Erhjrday aFterncmn, I Biam*Y*D*U* H nd *Y*D*U* ijliepe perFect.

TY our thoughtFul Faun Face, he nape oF your neck so tempting


II he innocent pornography of those rough-trade lips n a Flash it came to me: the UFe me would have together


M


,T he excitement oF our togetherness! ovjng into our First apartment together


Ii... aunching all sorts oF enterprises, "I atching plots wicked and beautiFul.

"I

r^i I'm so glad you HnaLLy hound The Due!" " I y motliEr mould say, when me went home to visit

V i hen you le Ft t he room For u moment,

o listen to us talk about you.


H 11 oF.


I this and so much more: 1 1


would have happened!



F only you could 1 e interrupted your text messac

r

I or one moment, to Look up at me.


□ LIST

10 REM BY CARL 20 PRINT "HELLO 30 GOTO 20


NORLD "


ZiPdi

STENTS


3 SiZiP Pagination is in Hexadecimal. Switch your calculator from Standard to Scientific mode and it will convert decimal numbers to Hex for you.


p3 - Love @ First Hack


p5 - Calendar of Events


p6 - Meet The Whimsical Wizard



p7 - Essay: pA - Schedule "Symbiotic of FREE Classes Excellence" & Workshops


tf


S


pC - Digital Blueprint of Noisebridge


pE - New Year's Resolutionaries


plO - Great Names in Hackerdom


pll - Skate Like a Girl


pl2 - Tao of Noisebridge





pl3 ■ TASTE BRIDGE



p IB - Mormons plC - Odd- plD - ZiP Code: p21 - Notes in the Mission Toed Ungulates / Chess Double, on 28c3 R.I. P. R.A.W. v68k



p22 - Feature: p2B - Political BERLIN REPORT Hacktivism


p2E - Visual: The Sound of Protest


p2F - Earth p31 - Hacker Alien: Eugene Headlines Tsui of 2011



p32 - Hacker Passports


p33 - NB Profile: Tiare Ribeaux


p35 - Computer Science Fiction


p36 - 4AD Timelock


p39 - Alternate Realities


Page 3A-END CREDITS



to Occupy collect i fell in


IN EARLY NOVEMBER, 2011, thanks (indirectly) | San Francisco and (more directly) to squatter re Homes Not Jails, I discovered Noisebridge and

(love?) with an organized group of hackers.


of it! a nail apol I ha pol i as 1_ ther^^f hackers , -t rade . less syr years as of the c Art if ici


e es t a chistic p it ical , i ve also m tically. ) discover


HACKERS are people who find clever & subversive things outside the system, often in defiance •JVjshment & * n * ne service of revolutionary or


laser hac "Hacking, " onymous wi o when I 1 riginal ha al Intel li


jinciples. (Not always. Some hackers are ■sofar as it is possible to be so these days;

|?t hackers who seem to me quite conservative Everyone knows about computer hackers . But , d over the ensuing weeks at Noisebridge,

d hackers, clothing hackers, photography kers , mycology hackers , & hackers -of -all

in this wider context, becomes more or th what we labeled DIY (Do it Yourself) ived i n Port land. Richard Stal lmann, one ~kers from the glory days of MIT and the gence Lab, said:


Around 1980, when the news media took notice of hackers, they fixated on one narrow aspect of real hacking: the security breaking which some hackers occasionally did, They ignored all the rest of hacking and took the term to mean breaking security, no more and no less. The media have since spread that definition, disregarding our attempts to correct them. As a result, most people have a mistaken idea of what we hackers actually do and think.


Douglas

of Mirint;


-sot a Press), on the part of the me more about peoples' 1 about hackers . Sounds p when my mental image of in a windowless room des puters of random strange


is book H argued th dia and m


aus ibl a hack igning rs, wi


sc/cer Culture (2002, University at these reductive tendencies sinstream pop culture reveal [t technology than they do '11 admit there was a time 5 a criminal misanthrope ses to attack the corn- motive beyond pure malice,


dge la



th


■ nil ,ii


I first visited Noisebri Nov. 3, hoping to find a re adapter, which had blown ou was finishing up a newspape ending 4 ,5 hours there a sort of Fr several old . hands -off wa

m -circuit vari ed by my inept was not beautiful two. Then it startedj shorted out, at whic a new adapter from C;

Electrical wiring isn not yet anyway.



■ Eifiwnini

r, ruTi'Tii."

iii lii aim


0


e night of Thursday , or my laptop's power nveniently just as I n deadline. I ended up , wiring and soldering power adapter out of ed and assisted (in a

rs of the wire-and a 1 1 er nat e 1 y amus ed self-made adapter d - for a day or rd noises and

up and bought

suit ,



They "found 99 scraps of lumber and bought the ripped 'out metal tops of car roofs hammered out flat for the triangular plates of their geodesic dome, S»teve the Zonohedron guy from New Mexico and his cohorts mathed it up for them, but the problem with angles is that they leak. The rain drips into everyone's lentil soup, into the moldy sleeping bags, onto the toddlers who ve drunk the electric Tang,

The intentionality of this comma" nity messed with Bucky's mind. It was the shape of it, the letter and not the spirit, of that clean time "cube future. The soaring frame of the Montreal Expo s glass facets (assembled in months ~ ' the Eiffel Tower could fit inside) burned to a jutting otherworldly skeleton. We have it clear now in our future vision that the 4th dimension isn't cleanlimbed, and messy drama doesn't go away just because you mean it to. It's more like the concretions of a reef and just as quarrelsome.

The Zome guy makes toys now, and our domehomes materials have shrunk to molecules. We' ve gone more in the direction / of Drop City's

evasive actions than the geometry of living. Shelter pops up in spring" loaded tents from our backpacks.



No cargo - ^^mkWr^ carrying zeppelins, but plenty of hacked "up Occucopter drones for Citizen Surveillance, Pov erty kills us; but worse, it stuffs us into the blocky pan" opticons of the prison industrial complex. Building units, still square, have not evolved to give us the handiness of the nexa" vurt; but even if it had, there's no land where we could put it unstained by blood ~~ not even a corner of a parking lot, plaza, sidewalk or vacant tot.

Instead, people camp on side" walks and inside abandoned buildings. We look to the skills learned from disaster response volunteer work and Burning M.an art camps to form the nucleus of our revolution. We could imagine Noiseland as our sprawling playland; our shelter geometry bathed in internetronic rays and broad" casting information back out to the world, our zeppelin refuel stop for idealism, our hive. But that social denucleation demands more than a single enclave, just as hacker spaces , org has to provide patterns and antipatterns for our DIY tin" kertoy community shelter kit.



Editor's Notes

Richard Buckminster ("Bucky") Fuller (1895 to 1983) was one of the great American oddball inventors and, it would appear, an early zinester.

The word zome, coined in 1968 by Steve Durkee, refers to a building of unusual geometric design.


37


Nonetheless, Noisebridge was "Love at First Hack." What a pleasant surprise it was for me to discover that I felt com- fortable, dare I say at home, amidst this eclectic hacker enc 1 ave f rom t he get -go . ' ve spent a lot of t i me at No is e-


bridge in the two months since that serendipitous discovery. My initial feeling of "I belong here" hasn't faded, though it has undergone changes and taken on nuances. I'm starting to feel integrated into its social taxonomy, but I know that will take a while. The people who have been with this space since the beginning (in 2007) have seen a lot of people come and go. They're skeptical. You have to earn their trust.


They 're also protect ive of the space & wary of being taken advantage of . Nhen Occupy Wal 1 St reet came to the Bay Area in October, there was an influx of needy people to Noisebridge (along with every other open space that was sympathet ic to the movement ) , some of whom took and gave not hi ng back , and assumed that since the space is open 24/7 it must be OK to


sleep here. Noisebridge, at one point, was in danger of turning into a flophouse. That seems to be under control now, barring occasional dramatic flare-ups. (If you subscribe to Noisebridge-Discuss you know what I'm talking about.)


It took me a little while to f igure out what I want to con- tribute to the Noisebridge scene, but I have it now, at least the first part of it . This Zine (in Progress) is the beginning of my contribut ion. Welcome to the inaugural issue of ZiP: Zine in Progress , which will hopefully enjoy a long and ill- ustrious run and grow into a worthy col laborat ive endeavor .


In the meantime, I'm running the show and providing the majority of the content, but you can totally contribute, and you totally should* Sign up for our mailing list here:

https://www.noisebridge.net/mailman/listinfo/zine/

and I'll send you two pre-f ormatted blank pages to design as


you please - to fill with words and images of your choosing - which will then be included - space permitt ing - in the next print issue of the ZiP. We're probably going to be quarterly (one print issue every 3 months) to start , switch- ing to monthly in the near future if things go according to plan. (Don' t they always?) The ZiP web portal on Wordpress - under construction as I write this , on the very last day of


2011 - will be interactive and continuously updated (ZiP- in-blog-f orm) and will function as a testing ground and incubator for the material collected in each print issue.

ZiP Zine Web: http://zine.noisebridge.net/ Comments, submissions, inquiries: zipzine@riseup.net

If you got time to be slackin',


you got time to be hackin'!

-Tony Longshanks'LeTigre, Art^frector/Co-Fdunder^iP MegaZTne


Ejhe eh qimelock some [Some HUTuai of: tZ]OI/M

I


CALENDAR

Recent and Upcoming Hacher/ Related Evenr5 LUnrldLuide



V


2D12


Sept 17: Occupy Wall Street begins [NYC!

Oct 1: 2nd anniversary of 2169 Mission St. [Shn Francisco]

Oct 15-16: Hackmeet 2011 [SF]

Oct 25: OPD Raid on Occupy Oakland Camp

Nov 4-6: Hack Day [Paris] Nov 24: Thanksgiving Feast @ Noisebridge

Dec 25: Noisebridge Christmas Feastivities

Dec 27-30: 28c3 Chaos Communication Congress (Berlin] Jan 19: 5 Minutes of Fame [NB]

Feb 1-4: Jhrdin numerique [Rennes]

Feb 14: My Noisy Valentine - ZiPOl Zine Release Microparty [NB]

Feb 15-18: nullcon Goa Int'l Security Conference [India]

Feb 16: 5 Minutes of Fame [NB]

Feb 17-19: Global Hndroid Dev Camp 2012 [c-base Space Station - Berlin]


10 REM BY CARL 20 PRINT "HELLO WORLD 1 30 GOTO 20


Hackerspace


W$ Passport*


"YY\Q YG3T Of th6 " nRCH """" ^ LHCK " HT ^ UR ° PE ^ Amsterdam]

April 1 - Release of ZiP02 [That's No Joke]


Bl ACK

Water Draqon



DISCLAIMER


The creators of ZiP:ZinelnProgress wish for their readers to know that ZiP is a Noisebridge-related publication, but in no way should ZiP be taken as an "official voice" or consensus statement of Noisebridge hackerspace as a whole; the views 8t voices herein belong solely to the autonomous individuals who see and speak them. ZiP furthermore requests that readers take what is printed 8t perpetra- ted in these pages with a grain of salt 8t an unhealthy sense of humor (the dark, warped kind).

Remember, we are very sick people unable to function normally in society. How much can you really expect?

-The Whimsical Wizard of ZiP (wwz)



hackerspaf^s^ ( recommended^


UCKHEET2M1 |

rfliegen 10 000 M eter hoch.



ZiP01.2°Z012Ql.7Dc


tfomputersciencefiction



Hackers + Sci Fi/Fantasy = Trus Ldy.


by Glamortramp


IT'S TRUE, DON'T YOU AGREE? Together like a horse and carriage. Shall we add Zinesters to the equation and make it a threesome? A menage a trois from Hacker Heaven! But how intimate is the relation- ship between this trio of different creative subcultures: hackers, zinesters and sci fi/ fantasy geeks? Are we talking casual ac- quaintances, barely on a first-name basis? Fancy dress - petticoats, corsets and all - for dinner at one another's houses? BFFs trading notes and giggling with each other after every class? OR is it - could it be - capital-L Love, the true and miraculous kind that happens only once upon a blue moon and costs less than the price of a Hallmark card and leads to volcanogasms of delight and rapture and outlasts the entropic omni- transience of this mortal coil? Will it end in cheers, jeers, or bittersweet tears?

Sorry, that's an awful lot of rhetoric right out of the gate, and overly laden with schmaltzy sentiment. I've got to make a serious effort to curtail those egregious fucking tendencies of mine, especially since the editor or whoever's in charge at this fly-by-midnight, jackass-and-pony



show, three-dollar lemonade stand of a pseudo-magazine seems to be too busy smoking his pretentious long-stemmed wiz- ard pipe and niggling over whether to pagi- nate in Roman Numerals or binary numbers or hexadecimal digits to get any goddamned editing done. [FYI, it looks like he's going with the last option, I think just because it has the word "hex" in it.)

To sum it up: Hackers, science fiction writers and fans, and guerrilla self-publishing maver- icks of every description are all pioneers and exemplars of Alternative Reality Exploration. "Consensus Reality" sounds even better. [Thanks to Bruce Sterling, in his intro to THE HAPPY MUTANT HANDBOOK, for that phrase.) Zine-making goes back to Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Paine and the National Amateur Press Association [founded in 1876, and still operating!) The word "zine" itself is first recorded in 1946. SciFi boomed in America between the 1930s and 50s, and the Fantasy Amateur Press Association formed in 1937. Hacking in its modern sense took shape at MIT in the hippie era. At some point, these three crossed paths, and it's been sweet, polyamorous love ever since. -GLAM


nil In our network ohoB join ua

consenso shall

ALLACK:



you speak so highly of?

Noisebridge is an infrastructure provider for technical-creative projects, collaboratively run by its members. We are incorporated as a non-profit educa- tional corporation for public benefit. We operate pri- marily in a 5,200 square-foot space located in the heart of San Francisco's Mission District.

-Taken from https://noisebridge.net/

Symbiotic. Excellenc

by Tony Longshanks LeTl^r^


R.I.P. Ilya Zhitomirskiy 1989-2011



A FRIEND OF MINE WHOM I PLACE in the class of people I refer to as the Noisebridge Angels (or Stewards, Custodians, Caretakers*) recently asked me, "What does Noisebridge mean to you?" I'm going to answer that question now to the best of my ability, while attempting to be as concise as possible- verbose as I am, by nature.

I am grateful to Noisebridge for allowing me a space for working at all hours on whatever project I happen to be immersed in at the moment (often there are many, never less than one), with a kitchen on premises to prepare food so I don't get light-headed from going too long without eating or sleeping (as sometimes happens when I'm really in obsessive deadline work mode), and a whole community of Excellent kindred spirits and fellow creators all around me, whose vast expertise and varied perspectives I may tap at will.


down to just one Golden Rule of Hackerdom, which is: Be Excellent to each other, to yourself, and to the space. Simple, pretty obvious and easy to follow, if you've spent even a little bit of time here and talked to only a fraction of the regular movers and shakers.

At least, I think it's obvious what "Be Excellent" means, but some people require a great deal of clarification and repetition, and even so it never seems to penetrate certain skulls deeply enough to reach the cerebral cortex or hypothalamus or whichever part of the brain it is where higher thinking takes place and moral and ethical behavior are shaped. Some indigent and/or disadvantaged, unfortunate, selfish, lazy, unmotivated, opportunistic, parasitic people seem to feel that Noisebridge ought to be a social services provider for them, and even become angry when their sense of entitlement is contradicted. They prepare and/or eat much of their food at NB, spend much if not most of their time at NB for days or weeks on end, and generally use the

— >


In return, I show my gratitude to is contradicted. I hey prepare and/ or eat

Noisebridge by conducting myself in much of their food at NB, spend much

what I believe to be a respectful way, if not most of their time at NB for days

following the path of common sense and °r weeks on end, and generally use the the rules of the space, which really boil — >

  • The friend I refer to objected to the term Angels because of its religions significance. One

of the unwritten rules of Noisebridge is "avoid religion. " I argued that the word angel has become generalized enough in English to lose much of its Christian resonance. Gandalfin The Lord of the Rings is an angel, as Tolkien makes clear in his letters. Webster's New World lists 7 different definitions of "angel, " of which only the first is overtly religious.


R: Well, I want to create a meeting place for the exchange of innovative minds, in the fields of Science and Technology, BUT with the laidback feel of a salon from 1912. There may be opium pipes, ether, bellydancers, theater and charades. We might have different themes, for instance we could have a Caligula night. I also envision a venue for an interactive science/disco

playground with a retro-futurism feel. My roommate and I are currently trying I to create such an I environment in our apartment. Some haircuts and per- fume may not be a bad idea, though! (Smiles.)


L: Are you from France or Canada?

R: Hawaii, actually.



any other movement, and will continue to do so exponentially in the future. I'll occupy Rocketship!

L: What are you reading right now?

R: Other than 4 science textbooks, I'm

reading The Enchantress of Florence

by Salman Rushdie, where Machiavelli tricks his way into

the minds and hearts of a fictional palace somewhere in India. And I just finished Cosmi- comics by Italo Calvino, which is the most poetic Science Fiction I know— a master- piece.


L: Your email name is "Bismuth Dreams." Quoi?


LAre you an Occupy protester? Is it your intention to overthrow the U.S. govern- ment and instill widespread chaos?

R: (Laughs) Nothing so extreme.

L: Can protesting be fun and stylish? To protest you have to be angry, and angry people usually aren't the most fun, we've noticed.

R: I'm actively pursuing a Science De- gree, does that count? I think Science has made more leaps and bounds than

p34


R: Bismuth, the last "stable" element on the Periodic Table (recently found to be Unstable), is delicately balanced between a toxic metal and a radioactive substance. When synthetically cooked and cooled, it forms beautiful geometric "hopper" crys- tal labyrinths that I hope my future Palace will be constructed from. It's what dreams are constructed of, Baby! Just stare into one.

L: Have you ever fallen in love? Does that still happen?

R: Well, I'm studying Chemistry right now. Does that count as love? EtoJO



niSEBRIDGE

spotlight on...


/ met young Mme. Ribeaux in November— at Noisebridge, of course— when she was stay- ing at L'Hotel Mirabelle and I was squatting a stone's throw away We bonded over books and famous literary figures and coteries of the past, and found a common vision of creating something analogous in the here and now. — I Longshanks LeTigre

LETIGRE: What does "ribeau" mean in French? I found a website claiming to have the Coat of Arms belonging to the Ribeau clan of France, but it looks like a scam.


RIBEAUX: Ribeau is an ancestral name from my French-Tahitian side. My moth- er, after her divorce, planned to change her name to this, but after looking it up found it to mean "Criminal, Outcast, Reb- el," things of that nature, and decided against it. I, on the other hand, found it a rather good fit.

L: You're back in the Mission these days, not so far from Noisebridge, rumor has it What does the Noiz represent to you, and how did you discover it?

R: I was introduced to Noisebridge in its current loca- tion 2 years ago by Phoenix Star- song. It felt like a mixture of Science Fiction and Home. It struck me as a meeting place of beautiful and curi- ous minds. Sort of



like a modern-day Tech Salon, where people can come and gossip about gadgets and write parables in code and the like.

L: By salon, do you mean a place where people get their hair done and read maga- zines drenched in perfume?

R: Mais non, Monsieur LeTigre. I mean salon in the Old World style. When I was a teenager I read Truly Wilde, the biog- raphy of Oscar Wilde's niece, which introduced me to the Parisian salons of yore. They were basically meeting places for literary types: writers, poets, socialites, fashionistas, fable-makers, performers and intellectuals. I've al- ways been fascinated with the idea of recreating the atmosphere of one.

L: But that was a different time. What will a salon in 2012 look like?

p33


jj^l Soil ichdich ~Jw das Einhorn i^SSF verdeichen?


space as if it was the Multi-Use Center South on 5th & Bryant Street— minus the rules, security guards, and that one incredibly annoying woman at the gate who takes forever to go through your bag looking for items that are not allowed. The Noiz, for these parasitic types, is viewed as a resource to be exploited for virtually anything they want or need, with nothing expected in return.

This sort of exploitational behavior is Unexcellent, and as I write this-in early February, 2012— a rash of such activity is causing the Noiz Angels and members to propose new gate security & ways to weed out the riffraff, which are necessary to keep the space safe and productive for the reasons it was created.

Other examples of Unexcellent behavior which have caused a stir of late include smoking on the fire escape (not "balcony"), stealing food and other items from the refrigerators or member shelves, and— above all other crimes— sleeping. Because as everyone knows or should know, You Can't Sleep at Noisebridge. More about the No Sleep Ordinance and its violators below.

Muppets is the (affectionate though condescending) sobriquet attached by the Noiz members to the mostly young, mostly non-member crowd who spend much of their time in the space and make it their social center. Some of them are liminal hackers of one kind or another (since Noisebridge embraces "hacker" in its broadest sense) and frequently engage in creative projects, or help out by keeping the space clean and organized (insofar as it can be said to be clean and organized), or

p8 1


contribute in other, less tangible ways: by providing entertainment value and livening up the Noisebridge Discuss list with drama and all manner of outbursts, denunciations, shrill cries for attention, wildly inappropriate per- sonal confessions, etc.

I'm not denigrating these people as a whole. Some may consider me to be one of them. (I think I'm one of the Noisebridge Angels, but I haven't got- ten my wings yet.) The Muppets aren't the complete undesirables, the real human leeches at the very bottom of the Noisebridge barrel. Many of them are charming people, among the most charming opportunists I've met, which is another reason they are tolerated in the space to begin with. Let me add I don't utterly oppose opportunism: it's human nature, it's animal nature; it's fuckin' reality, folks!

Symbiosis, in my view, is the ideal, or at least one Excellent form, of relation- ship between different people, groups, and organisms. The majority of my relationships could fairly be labeled symbiotic— as opposed to parasitic. The fact that many of the Muppets are not official members can't be a mark against them in my book, unless I want to be a hypocrite, since I haven't taken the membership plunge yet my- self—due mainly to financial straits, but also to my feeling that I ought to

continued on page B — >



Please Refrain From Being UNEXCELLENT



DIPLOMATIC

PASSPORT


Hack the Friendly Skies


Mitch Altman is a Noisebridge Ultra-Man. He is a Noisebridge co-founder and founder and CEO of Cornfield Electronics, 1 lk which publishes the nifty Hackerspace Passports you see at ^/u^ left. (See below.) He travels the globe constantly, catapult- llpF ing himself from one hacker event to another, along the way

f teaching people to make cool things with microcontrollers and

Y ^nl|Hpr During occasional rest stops in San Francisco (which is

^ m 7 f% During occasional rest stops in San Francisco (which is home) he makes frequent appearances at 2169Mish to

prbgHBSS 2169 Mish to keep things running in a I

3V^^^ smooth and organized! |k

l El fashion. Mitch is a I 11H iGrll

fixture of NB's ^Circuit I H _ - ^^^^^1 ! I ^Hacking MondaW (ev-^^^\f # ^

»ncpco9^«^ MondayatJjM^ ^^T'fJ


In December, following v\\\i the suicide of Noise- bridge member llya Zhit- /\OwA> omirskiy, Mitch started a v^sSoy^ monthly meetup callecf fc %^Oy Geeks and Depression. 1^^^ When I finally

met him in late v ^ft^TT~^ ^ January, he was *- \l j*^ Paris-bound for f^Kl^trSO^ French hacker ^O^^W- conference Jar- #C^^^^^Sfcw din Numerique pCf "//

(thats him on the flier at ^^"wjf stage right. (He's actually Vj&C£ not blue-skinned IRL, my bad...) I ordered a Hacker port from him for $2 plus $2 shipping from New Jersey (where Cornfield is based). They look like real passports, but no fingerprints required, and the fine print is a lot more fun. To order or make one yourself, visit httpspfj? noisebridge.net/wiki/Passport. I


Mitch is friendly and highly acces- sible and you may contact him in the following ways:

Email: maltman23@hotmail.com Twitter: @maltman23 I Facebook: maltman23 Google+: Mitch Altman Diaspora: Maltman23



Hacker's Digest


Vesterday's news..


  • HACKERS DIGEST makes no claims as to the freshness of

yesterday's news, and cannot be held responsible for illness or other complications that may arise from consuming it.


HACKER HEADLINES 2011: A Fond Look Back



RED HACKERPHONE POSSESSED BY IRRITATING PIXIE

ASSAULT ALLEGED AT NOISEBRIDGE - EMAIL STORM EXPECTED

NBRIDGER ACCUSED OF ASSAULT STORMS OUT OF SPACE VOWING NEVER TO RETURN


NBRIDGER ACCUSED OF ASSAULT RETURNS After 2- DAY HIATUS, SEIZES CONTROL OF KITCHEN

NBRIDGER WILL CO<Sr@HlNESE FOR XMAS DINNER, DENIES RUMORS THAT SHE IS JEWISH

RIBALD STAND-UP COMEDIAN TRAPPED IN ELEVATOR WITH ANTI-OPPRESSION ACTIVISTS

ONE-PERCENT SYMPATHIZER FEELS ALMOST EVERYONE IS AGAINST HIM

THANKSGIVING FEAST RESULTS IN GLUTTONY, EXCESSIVE EGGNOG CONSUMPTION

JORGEN STAYS LATE CHRISTMAS NIGHT, ROCKS OUT ON GUITAR AGAIN

MONEY BELIEVED STOLEN FROM UNSECURED RECEPTACLE IN BUSY OPEN SPACE

NEW BILL WOULD RESTRICT FIRE ESCAPE TO ESCAPING FIRES ONLY, SMOKERS CHOKE WITH INDIGNATION


LARGE SOFA DISAPPEARS FROM LIBRARY, FOUL PLAY NOT RULED OUT


= if i 'i-i H-


BOARD OF DIRECTORS OVERHEARD MOCKING THEIR OWN AUTHORITY

FOOD ITEMS MARKED 'NO SHARE' ON ONLY 4 OF 6 SIDES ASSUMED UP FOR GRABS

NOISEBOT PROGRAMMED TO SINGLE OUT WHITE MALE OPPRESSORS IN NEW INCLUSIVENESS INITIATIVE

HUMOR ATTEMPTED TO DEFUSE TOUCHY SUBJECT FLIES OVER HEADS, LANDS ON FORBIDDEN FIRE ESCAPE

Read more on ZiPZineWeb - http://zine.noisebridge.net



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continued from page 8

fully integrate into the community before honorably claiming my place as a dues- paying member.

(I'm a vagabond and a bit commitment- shy; recently for the 24 tn time I threatened to leave Franny— San Francisco, that is— but she doesn't even take such threats seriously any more.)

Trolls, Muppets, & Angels

Unfortunately, in the short span of my hackerlife so far I have born witness to the fact that Noisebridge is plagued, ever and anon, by Noisetrolls, Bridgegoblins, and Muppets gone to seed: those undesirables who seem exclusively to take from the community without giving back; also without any apparent strong or serious investment in hacking or hacker-related projects in any of their myriad forms.

These wicked folk (another Noise Angel calls them oogles) disrespect the purpose of Noisebridge, and never more so than when they violate the No Sleep Ordinance. Sleeping at Noisebridge is the nadir of Unexcellence, and I don't believe anyone doesn't know they aren't supposed to sleep there, regardless what innocence they pretend.

Exasperating, it is, to hear the same lame whines and cop-outs or (worse) defiant refusals or indictments of the space and its caretakers for not allowing this or that person to do exactly as they please and take whatever they need or want for free without a care in the world.

The attitude of some of the Noisetrolls, as near as I can distill it, seems to be:

I'm an anarchist, and that means I oppose the concentration of wealth and space and resources by the few while the many go hungry or without shelter


or a place to sleep, so therefore, the

Noisebridge community - its members and makers and caretakers and donors and the people who pay its rent (because a 5,200-square-foot space in the heart of San Francisco's Mission District is in fact not freej and keep it stocked with all the things that others freely take and use without monetary contribution even when it's asked for - has no right to tell me I can't sleep when there's a perfectly good couch that no one's using! And whoever's stuff that is in the refrigerator marked NO SHARE has no right to hoard all that food when I'm hungry and I've already used up all my food stamps for the month!

Now, I agree with the premise of that argument in some respects (though that conception of anarchy leaves much to be desired), but here the argument is being used against the wrong party. Noisebridge is not the Enemy. The Noisetrolls are more or less literally biting the hand that feeds them.

Thou Shalt Not Sleep

If you want to eat, go to one of the pantries that offer food donations at various times of each week and month, or to one of the churches, soup kitchens and other charitable organizations that serve hot meals on every day of the week at various spots in the city. Hook up with Food Not Bombs at Station 40. Or steal from the national chain drug and grocery stores that are within reasonable walking distance of the Noiz, if steal you must.

(Don't steal produce from the Spanish markets on Mission Street, child, or you won't live to see daybreak!)

If you need a place to sleep or call home, hook up with Occupy Wall Street in

the Bay Area (it's still here, however

continued on p. 19

B


"Ultima" TtfWtf



Above: ULTIMA Tower design (unrealized) I Left: TSUI HOUSE in Berkeley

Tsui is nothing iF not haching architecture. Find there's something incredibly thrilling For me about the horizons oF creative possibility his building designs open up in my imagination. It reminds me oF visiting LUisconsin Dells [child oF the midwest] as a hid and seeing the House oF Xanadu -- one oF them -- and Robot LUorld, which really blew my mind. I wanted to live in that Futuristic, robotic space-world sooo badly; plain old boring reality just couldn't hold a candle to those visions. [I un- derstand the Houses oF Xanadu have all been bulldozed now.] There's no time lihe the present, " they say, but could we not as truthFully say the same about both the Past and the Future? Looh at two oF our most popular cartoons: THE FLinT5TDTIE5 and THE JET5DTI5. They're practically the same show, on diFFerent setsl


Tsui's worh is exciting, but why aren't there more Tsuis out there design- ing houses? Why aren't more people this imaginative? There are also prac- tical reasons to Follow his lead when you looh at the production cost and the saFety and sturdiness oF the structures he has already created. I'm going to build my dream home some day, and hire Tsui to help me design it.

-ToniJ Lcinq5hanh5 LeTiqre

30